Peace of Mind
by harmonise
Summary: Kagamine Rin wakes up to find herself a 'ghost' or... dead. She decides that before she 'passes-over', she has to see her best friend Hatsune Miku happy. Rin seeks Len, Miku's crush, to discover that Len can see her - the dead. In the midst of Rin's mission, she falls in love with the wrong person and discovers she might not be dead after all... RinxLen DISCONTINUED. See profile.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Vocaloids in any way (literally - not even franchise)._

_Hi guys! I'm harmonise. I hope you like my fanfic!_

_**Warning: **This story is only made up. None of it is really non-fiction! It's just for personal enjoyment. This story will have various pairings. I am not actually a fan of MikuxLen but for the sake of the storyline it's there. Don't flame me about pairings! And finally, this story is rated T for safety. It may have scary teenage crap. So keep safe, kiddies!_

* * *

**Chapter One**

My eyes scan the empty bedroom. It's not very large and quite mediocre – white walls, white furniture… a medium-sized yellow bed. It belongs to a boy, I knew, judging from the image of a younger boy holding some over-sized trophy placed in a frame on the bedside table.

I'm not a stalker, if you're thinking. I'm just… _dead_. I think, anyway. How else could I move through the front door without being seen by anyone?

I'm snapped out of my deep thought as the bedroom door opens. A boy steps in warily, yawning silently. He is about my age, holding a towel up to his mouth; being fairly tall, with messy, wet blonde hair shoved into a chaotic ponytail and cerulean blue eyes. He is the boy I am looking for. The boy's eyes scan his room, but pause as soon as he sees me sitting on his bed.

Ah, so maybe I am wrong. Some people can see me.

His jaw goes slack and his skin turns pale. We stare at each other for a moment, until he drops his white bathroom towel on the floor, revealing he isn't wearing a shirt – just long pyjama pants with a banana print on them.

"Who are you? H-how did you get in my room?" He hisses, narrowing his eyes and quietly shutting the door behind him. What should I say? What do _ghosts_ say, anyway, when a human sees you?

"Oh, you got me." Is the first thing I blurt out, awkwardly smiling. The boy frowns, not moving, just continuously glaring his blue orbs at me. Sighing, I decide to answer his questions since he wasn't going to say anymore. "…I'm no one you need to know – at the moment, anyway. And I came in through your bedroom door because you left it open, to my luck. It is too exhausting passing through walls. I don't know why."

Silence follows, before he carefully makes his way around the room – following the wall, to his desk. He pulls out a chair and sits on it, rubbing his head with one hand. "I thought they were gone." He mutters, obviously not meant for me to hear – but its audible enough in the silence.

"Ghosts?" I ask – still smiling almost apologetically, before standing up slowly. I move towards the window and lean up against it. "I'm sorry for bothering you so." The boy looks at me, expressionless. He shakes his head slowly.

"I-I guess it can't be helped." He mumbles, standing up. "You need help crossing over…?" He scoops up his towel and placing it on his bed. The boy stops and looks at me, waiting for my answer.

"Is that what they call it?" I ask, laughing softly. I could tell he didn't like me being here, let alone felt awkward. I'm trying to lighten the tension in the atmosphere by laughing, but it didn't make much of a difference. My smile disappears and I sit down on the floor, placing my hands in my lap and looking up at him. "Your name is Len?" I gesture thoughtfully to a drawing on the floor beside his desk with 'by Len' written in the corner. It looked like something he'd drawn in kindergarten.

Len flinches, running his fingers through his fringe. "I-it is." He utters after hesitating. I try my best to give a warm smile. His expression turns hard. "Please don't go telling your ghost friends that I can… 'Help' them. It's… just… I want to live a normal lifestyle." I nod understandably.

"My friends are still alive, fortunately. I have no intention of making friends with those who are in the same situation as me… and…" I trail off as I knit my fingers together, thinking. Should I tell him straight off why I'm here? "I guess there are plenty of others who see the dead. To be honest, I didn't know you… see us." He perks up on the last part, which I had said rather under my breath.

"Then why are you here?" I knew he didn't mean it to be rude, but it came across coldly. I had to avert my gaze to the floor in embarrassment and guilt.

"Well…" My voice softens, coming across almost as a whisper, "Before I passed away, my friend mentioned you." I fall silent, playing with the carpet to hide the shameful embarrassment that is on production on my face. "She admires you."

Len moves across the room towards me, sitting down in front of where I sat and crossing his legs. His gaze is on me – I could feel it burning into the top of my head. "Who is… your friend?" I frown as I suddenly became a bit annoyed.

"I-" I snap a bit harshly, before hesitating and softening my tone a bit, "I have no intention of giving that information away to you yet." I look at him. He has a light blush on his cheeks and seems like he's deep in thought.

"Then, what _are _your intentions?" I close my eyes and smile a bit.

"I just want to see her happy." I draw lines into the carpet, "It'll make me happy."

* * *

"Are you going to school, Len-kun?" I ask as I hurriedly attempt to catch up with Len who is ahead of me, walking quickly. He's dressed in a familiar uniform – the same school uniform my friend wears. So they attend the same school?

He slows a bit, turning his head sideways and nodding. I remind myself not to talk much to him in public; due to other people being around. It would be funny if they saw him talking to no one…

I catch up to him, staring ahead in thought as I inspected the scenes around us. In the distance, I could see a tall school building surrounded by students in the same uniform as him.

Hopefully I will see my friend today…

Miku.

Miku and I had been best friends ever since I could remember. She is pretty, smart and kind. I was envious of her, truthfully, but still grateful for the fact that we were friends. She's one of the best people I knew when I was still alive.

It took me by surprise when I noticed her blushing and smiling one day at something she held in her hands. I asked out of curiosity and she showed me an amazing drawing of her. "Who did it?" I asked with naïvetés, peering at it in admiration and jealousy.

"Ah, some boy I like." She had whispered, blushing. "His name is Len."

"He must like you too!" I replied, giggling.

So, that lead me to this boy – hopefully, I have him right.

I watch as he disappears into the crowd of rushing school students, forgetting my existence. Kids were running everywhere, yelling, screaming and fussing about. Something inside me aches – like a longing for this feeling again. It's strange; I was never really fond of school. It's surprising what you don't acknowledge you have when you're alive until it's all gone.

I wander past the students, weaving in and out through most of them. Some might walk out suddenly and I might walk through them, earning them to sneeze or shiver. I hate the way people reacted when I touch them. It makes me feel… inhuman.

Finally, I end up at the entrance of the building beside Len who was conversing with some other students. But he isn't who I am looking for. My eyes scan the student body that's visible for Miku's familiar teal ponytails and sparkling aqua eyes – but found myself in disappointment when she's not anywhere to be seen.

I decide to enter the large school building and be emerged into another crowd of students wreaking havoc. My feet carry me upstairs without my consent, like a strange habit. I end up in the doorway of a classroom at the very opposite end of the staircase.

I walk in slowly and cautiously, scanning the room of the few students who were mucking around in there. Suddenly, teal caught my gaze and I turn to one student who sat in the corner quietly, all alone.

Miku. My stomach flutters and I feel nervous. Shakily, I start making my way over to her in the corner. She sat there, looking down at the desk and not doing anything. Like she senses me there, she glances up and reveals her face.

Miku looks incredibly tired and not at all like her usual bubbly self. There are dark rims under her eyes, her aqua orbs dull and emotionless. It hurt me to see her in such a bad way; after all… it's my fault I died in the first place.

"Miku-chan, I know you can't hear or see me… but…" I say softly, trailing off as several students enter the classroom, including Len. It seems like Len senses me there, looking in my direction and his gaze falling on Miku. A blush creeps slowly across his cheeks.

The sudden atmosphere change causes me to turn and glance at Miku, who didn't look as lifeless and lonely now. She looks hopeful… as if she is expecting Len to talk to her – in which, he did.

"Good morning, Miku-chan," He greets her in a kind tone, smiling at her gently. Miku's face flushes, her eyes lighting up a little bit. She gets up a little bit clumsily and makes an effort to bow to Len. It's amusing to see her so flustered like this; a rare sight for me. It left a warm feeling in my chest.

"G-good morning, Len-kun!" She squeaks adorably and Len looks down… almost in embarrassment? I smile, watching them, slowly backing away as they began to chat friendly…

"Is something wrong?" Len asks with concern, looking directly into her eyes. Miku's gaze falters, pain sweeping across her face.

"A-ah… it's… I'm not doing so well, that's all." She replies softly, looking at the ground. Len nods, touching her arm in a comforting way.

"I see. Well, I hope everything works out better for you." He replies in a calm voice, his cheeks still a bit pink. "See you around." He waves kindly and turns away, walking past me. Almost to ask, _is that her? _He raises his eyebrows in a questioning way. I smile, as if to reply, _yes_.

It uplifts my mood a little to see Miku smiling a bit.

Lunch time had rolled around, eventually, after I've followed Miku to and fro of her classes. Now I'm stumbling after Miku as she makes her way across the oval to an isolated bench under some cherry blossom trees. Her mood had dived down again, the smile she held on her face this morning when she conversed with Len had melted into a sad expression.

It hurt to see her so miserable.

Miku sits down, placing her bento on her lap and carefully opening it. Miku's bento looks really cool; it has penguins and a smiley face made out of some sashimi, egg, seaweed and rice. I guess she made it – after all, Miku is a great cook.

I sit down beside her and sigh. Although she doesn't acknowledge my existence as a spirit, I still talk to her as if I'm having a conversation with any other person. "Hello Miku-chan," I say calmly, staring off at the kids in the distance playing soccer on the field, "How have you been lately?" It feels weird saying things and expecting no answer.

Miku nibbles on some rice, staring down at the bento with no expression.

"Have you been getting much sleep lately? You look really tired," I comment, staring at her. No reply – she continues to eat slowly and quietly, minding her own business and being off in her own little world.

"You know, you need to stop worrying so much. I'm fine." I crack a smile. Miku sighs, looking around as if she might've heard me. "It feels weird talking to you and knowing you don't realise." My voice softens a bit at the end. I can't help but feel a bit… sad? Worthless? Guilty?

"Rin-chan…" She murmurs, taking me aback suddenly. I blink in shock. W-what did she just say? "I wonder sometimes if you dream…" That's weird; she wonders if I dream? How unusual…

"I'm dead, Miku-chan; I don't think that's possible…" I respond sadly, sighing. I know she won't hear my response, but its good manners to reply. "Don't wonder about me, just focus on being happy." I add, patting her shoulder in a comforting way. After I took my hand away, she starts rubbing her shoulder directly where I had touched it while looking around in confusion.

"_M-mou_, that was weird…" She comments quietly, glancing directly at me. But she sees nothing and shrugs, continuing to eat her bento. My heart sinks a bit. I wish I could talk to her right now; I can't help but feel bad.

My attention is taken off Miku as I notice someone else approaching; Len. He has a pink hue on his cheeks. I can tell he notices me sitting next to Miku because he sits on the opposite side of her.

Miku looks on in surprise when Len plonks down beside her. She blushes conscientiously. "Hello, Miku-chan," Len greets politely, smiling kindly. Miku looks at her feet to hide her embarrassment.

"Hi," She replies shyly, smiling a little to herself.

Not forgetting my manners (despite the fact that I'm a ghost…), I turn to Len and smile. "Hello," I say. Len quickly glances at me and flashes me a small smile, but turns his attention back to Miku.

"How is your lunch?" Len asks nervously. I slink away and climb up into the branches of a cherry blossom to get a better view. He doesn't seem to acknowledge my movement.

"It is fine, thank you," She responds softly, glancing up at him. "How is yours?" I have to stop myself from giggling and distracting Len because of their tomato faces by shoving my fist in my mouth. Who knew Len likes Miku too? I guess my job just got easier. Miku suddenly notices Len's expression falling and turns concerned. "Where is your lunch?"

"A-ah," Len stammers nervously, running his hand through his golden hair. Oh, that's right… I kept him up all night by asking stupid questions so he slept in and was running too late to school to make lunch. "I sort of slept in so… I didn't get a chance to…" As if to remind me, he glances behind Miku but discovers I'm not there.

Miku notices Len looking behind her and glances at the bench beside her. "What's wrong?" She asks cautiously. Len smiles apologetically.

"Nothing, I just thought I saw… a…" He trails off, making Miku lean in a bit closer – causing him to blush. "I just thought I saw somebody, that's all. But it was just the tree." He smiles awkwardly, knowing that his face was absolutely beetroot red.

"O-oh," Miku mutters, "Never mind, then. Would you like some of my lunch?" She offers him her bento but he hesitates.

"Her cooking is _amazing_," I mutter from above, helping him decide.

He hears me, luckily. "Are you sure?" He smiles, looking at her. Miku gets flustered and looks down, breaking their gaze.

"Y-yeah, I won't eat it all… I made _way_ too much this morning, as usual." He chuckles and takes some sashimi carefully. When Miku looks away to continue eating, he glances up at me to confirm I am now in the tree.

I shrug. "She usually made me eat it when we saw each other after school," I mention casually. I brush the loose bits of my fringe to the side and look at Len. Len is grinning at me as if he finds it funny. Well, I guess it is.

"Uh, Miku… are you doing anything after school?" Len asks nervously, playing with his school tie. Did I mention Len looked nice in a tie? No wonder Miku likes him… he's quite good-looking; in fact, I'm not surprised he hasn't got a girlfriend – _yet_.

Miku looks up in surprise. "Not today, why?" She asks back. Len fidgets, thinking about something.

"Would you like to go to a café with me?" He blurts out quickly. He blushes again, chewing his bottom lip as he hesitates to say something else. "I mean… don't feel obliged to if you don't. I understand." He looks down at his hands in embarrassment.

"Of course!" Miku exclaims, smiling, "I-if it's not too much to ask…" She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and turns a bit pink. I sigh, feeling a bit sick from watching the two talking. I mean, they are acting like two crazy love birds! I have to admit, though… I'm sort of jealous I'll never experience something like that.

The lunch bell rings, signalling that lunch is over. I watch from the tree as the two say goodbye to each other and Miku walks off across the oval. Len waits behind and until Miku's out of earshot, he looks up at me.

"Miku is really your best friend, huh?" He asks quietly as we walk across the oval together. Miku was up ahead, walking briskly to ensure she is on time for her next lesson.

"Yeah, ever since I could remember." I reply, staring ahead. "How come you two aren't together already anyway? You seem to both share the same feelings." Len blushes and turns his head away while covering his mouth with his hand.

"I don't know…" He murmurs. I grin, slapping his back roughly.

"Well hurry up and confess! I can't stay here forever, you know. It's funny enough watching two tomatoes awkwardly talk." I shake my head, "I got to admit… I'm jealous of love. Wish I could've experienced it before I just dropped off!" I stretch my arms and sigh dreamily.

"Hmm… how did you die?" Len asks quietly, his hands in his pockets and staring down at the ground. I stop walking, because… to be honest, _how _did I die?

Len notices I had stopped walking and turns back to me. He looks concerned. "It's none of your business!" I snap, suddenly mad. Maybe it's because I _couldn't_ remember how exactly I died. It was so frustrating!

"Ah, I'm sorry. Didn't know it was a touchy subject for some ghosts." He sighs and turns away, walking off. I just watch him go… thinking, _why can't I remember anything?_

* * *

I quietly follow after Len and Miku as they made their way towards the café they were supposedly going to. Was Len going to confess? I hope so, I mean… why not? Cafés were romantic and lovey-dovey as so.

Their short conversations were so cute and awkward. "My favourite colour is teal," Miku explains as Len had asked her why all her stationary was teal. "What's your favourite colour?" She asks, turning to him. They were both blushing, as usual.

"O-oh, well, it's… yellow." Len replies, scratching the back of his head. "Everyone looks at me weirdly when I say so… I mean, yellow isn't that bad of a colour, is it?" He smiles sheepishly. Miku shakes her head.

"N-no! It's a nice colour… it reminds me of happiness and bright sunny days…" She trails off, "…and…" Her expression turns sad. She finally whispers, "Never mind." She goes quiet, as if she's in deep thought. Is she thinking of me? Maybe it's because my hair colour was blonde; but I favour orange more as a colour – she knows that, so why would she be associating me with it?

"Miku? Is everything okay?" Len asks in concern, peering at her and touching her shoulder gently. She looks up at him and smiles sadly.

"Ah, no… it's okay. It just reminds me of someone." She replies quietly. Len, knowing not to press on, kindly changes the subject.

"So… what are your hobbies?" He asks, staring off into the distance. Miku clasps her hands in front of her, her lips pursing in thought.

"Well, I really enjoy singing," She says in embarrassment, "But I don't do any practise of it in any way. I love to cook sweets and I also like to do flower arranging and scrapbooking. I help to do those things in my spare time as my Mum is a wedding planner." This is true. Miku sang happy birthday one day and it sounded truly amazing – like an angel. She even gave me an album decorated by her with pictures of us and a bouquet of flowers she personally picked from her garden as a birthday present.

She also included my favourite flowers; yellow roses and sunflowers. Miku always gave the best birthday presents… as for me; well, I wasn't the best. I used to just buy a mug or something at the local gift store down the road from my house. I never gave the most exciting gifts; seriously.

"How about you?" Miku asks back, her mood improving. Len shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Drawing – I get art lessons sometimes, since my Mum is an artist. I also like to sing and play piano… though, I'm good at neither." He laughs nervously, "And being lazy." He adds half-heartedly. Miku giggles, tucking her hair behind her ear.

They reach the café and get a booth in the corner. The café seems cosy and comforting. As soon as we enter, the bitter smell of coffee greets me. It brings me back to when I was alive… when I used to go out with Miku to cafés and drink lattes because we thought we were cool and mature doing so.

I watch from afar at another booth that's empty. Miku seems to be really enjoying herself. They both order something at a waitress after staring at the menus for about five minutes. Miku says something to Len as she gets up and hurries off in the direction to the ladies room. She must be going to the bathroom. I take this as a chance to quickly talk to Len.

I 'materialize' beside Len on the booth chair. It sounds so stupid, saying that. "How's it going?" I ask casually, making Len jump in surprise. I guess he didn't notice my presence because he was too busy (to be honest) staring at Miku's butt as she walked off.

"God," He hisses, "Don't do that, it scares me." I shrug and laugh it off.

"How's it going?" I repeat, placing my head in my hand as I lean my elbow on the table. Len sighs and smiles dreamily, looking over at where Miku was once sitting.

"I wish this time could last forever, I'm really enjoying it." He admits in embarrassment. I roll my eyes, grinning.

"Miku would jump over the moon if she heard you say that." I mutter, noticing the waiter coming with their orders. I nod over at the direction the waitress is so he knew to stop talking to me.

The waitress places their drinks and sweets on the table. She is avoiding looking at Len for some reason and I wonder why. Then I notice, as she glances up when Len thanks her she looks at him then to _me_. Could she see me? I unconsciously smile at her and she blinks in confusion before smiling back at me.

When she walks off, I lean over and mutter, "That waitress totally just saw me." Len sighs and runs his fingers through his fringe.

"I noticed," He mutters under his breath to me. Miku comes back and her face lights up when she sees their orders waiting on the booth table patiently. I slink off back to the booth-from-afar and watch intently as they continued to talk.

The waitress came over to me after a bit, her gaze on me and only me. Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, she could _definitely _see me. She smiles apologetically. "Sorry, but unless you want people to sit on you, can you sit somewhere else for now?" She asks in a low voice as she wipes down the table top and seats. I nod and get up.

"Sure," I say while smiling at her, before slinking off over to another free booth.

The two finish their snacks and leave eventually. I'm still following them as they walk home together. They were talking about seeing a movie soon. "That'd be great," Len says happily, "Which one would you like to see?" Miku thinks, staring ahead.

"Hmm… I'd like to see _Ice Age 4_. It looks really funny." She smiles, blushing. Typical of Miku, she _loves _children's movies. So did I, though – they're pretty good. Sometimes adult movies can be just too _romantic _or _gory_. I know Miku hates gory movies, for a fact.

"Me too, actually… I've seen 1, 2 and 3 and they've all been good." Len agrees, smiling as well. Jeez, young love is so cute – it's making me smile too. This romantic atmosphere is starting to make me high.

Suddenly, we stop at a familiar intersection. I usually turned down here to go to my house. "Uh, this is my stop." Miku says quietly, scratching her ear. No it isn't – her stop is actually a bit further. I wonder why she's going this way.

"Oh," Len seems a bit disappointed. "Well, I had a lot of fun with you this afternoon. Thank you for coming. I'll see you tomorrow." He smiles at her, blushing. Miku smiles back, sadly.

"Yeah…" She trails off, looking down and scuffing her shoes at the concrete. "Thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate it. Bye." She walks off down the pathway towards my house with her hands clasped in front of her. Len stares at her as she walks off, the blush still evident on his cheeks.

I walk up to him slowly and sigh. "I don't know why she's going that way, her turn off is usually a couple of blocks further." I point out quietly. Len glances down at me, frowning.

"Does anyone she know live down that way?" He asks, scratching his chin in thought.

"Yeah," I look at him in the eyes with no expression, "I did." I held my arms behind my back and looked over at Miku, her figure getting smaller and smaller before turning around the exact corner that took you down the street my house was located in.

Len stiffens and frowns. "Why would she be going to your house if you're… dead?" He looks a bit worried… and apprehensive.

"Well, she might be going to see my parents and help them do whatnot. My parents like her and she likes them… honestly, sometimes I think they wished she was their daughter and I wasn't." I have a pang of jealousy hit me when I said that. It was true… my parents always compared me to her when I didn't do things they wanted. It made me feel guilty for not being the best daughter in the world… I mean, I'm _not _perfect, anyway.

"Oh…" He trails off in deep thought. I stare at his attractive features… his flaxen hair – how it seemed so soft and seamless looking, his immense cerulean eyes that were always filled with strong sentiment and his unblemished, ivory skin that I wished I had when I was alive. Miku is lucky she has such a kind and attractive guy chasing after her. I'd never really had any boy like me at all.

* * *

I sat in the darkness of Len's room as I watch him sleep. Ghosts don't sleep, unfortunately, so… I'm stuck with watching people sleep instead – like a paedophile or stalker. It was alright, though, since Len mentioned he didn't mind earlier and that ghosts used to watch him sleep all the time when he was younger.

He told me yesterday how he mainly ignores the ghosts he can see and pretend he can't see them. But then he stated that as he's gotten older, he's been encountering less… and less…

That makes me wonder if ghosts watched me sleep too when I was alive. How creepy; having my privacy invaded like that… and what if… what if ghosts watched me while I showered? Gross – even I have enough manners to just mind my own business when Len goes off to shower and relieve himself.

I sigh as I get up quietly, walking over beside Len's unconscious body. He's smiling in his sleep; is he dreaming of Miku? I stare at him, fascinated by how innocent and vulnerable he looked. He is so peaceful and angel-like. And… to be honest, I felt… warm inside, seeing someone so content and diplomatic.

Len, at first, seemed cold and inconsiderate – but once you get to know him a bit… he is just shy and trying to protect those close to him. I hope that soon, he and Miku would admit their feelings… so I can be happy, too, and move on… to wherever happy dead people go.

I walk away, over to the image on the floor that I pointed out to Len last night. I crouch down, admiring the cuteness of it. Seeing this made it hard to believe how much progress he has put into his artwork – like the picture of Miku. He's extremely talented and as usual, I am jealous.

My eyes run over the setup of picture frames across the top shelf of his desk. They held various images of him as he has gotten older – an image of a baby with light hair and large blue eyes, which I guessed was him when he was an infant; and an image of a younger version of him on a beach, staring at the camera with those mesmerizing cerulean orbs characteristically while grasping a spade and bucket. He looked so cute and innocent, I sigh unknowingly in admiration.

Admiration… I love that word. It can mean so much yet so little. Had anyone admired me in my past life? Was I even admired at all? Did I deserve to be admired? I know Miku and Len certainly deserve to be admired… which I guess is one of the good things about their personalities. I looked up to Miku in admiration; wishing to be as pretty, kind and smart as her. She was like the big sister I never had, but the best friend I've always needed.

Of course… now, I'm dead and I have to give my thanks, even though it's not directly. I have to make her happy. Just to see her smile would be enough. Maybe that's why I'm chasing Len around and making sure they get together. So she has someone to smile and laugh with… someone better than me, there to accompany her even when I'm gone. I don't want to see Miku sad because I'm no longer there.

I died because of a reason; obviously, that reason is that I've lived my life – even though it wasn't as fulfilling as it seems. The world had me, I made a difference and now I'm gone. Maybe I'll get to restart a new life, as someone different perhaps? Maybe with Miku and Len, but as different people too? That'd be nice… another chance to be alive with those who matter…

To love, to laugh… to cry like a human being. I miss the beating heart – the wetness of tears as they ran down my face… the love and comfort given to me by those who I was close to. Maybe there's a second chance of that, in the afterlife? So that leaves me to another question…

"Can ghosts fall in love too?" I whisper to myself, gazing at the newest picture; Len smiling at the camera – posed in the middle of playing the piano.

_Can ghosts fall in love?_

* * *

_So, what do you think? Tell me in reviews! Also, grammar/punctuation corrections are appreciated. Please note this is written in Australian English so some words may be spelt a little different. But don't fret!_

_Ah, I may update soon with Chapter Two, since I'm already up to Chapter Three but plan on updating once I complete it. :'D_

_-runs away-_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys, harmonise here! Sorry for the lack of update. I'm so mean D:_

_And thank you all so much for the support - reviews, favs and follows ;U; I am happy. Replies to reviews are at the bottom. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter Two**

I watch from the corner of the room as Len flings open his eyes the next morning and rolls over, mumbling something grumpily about an annoying alarm clock. He grabs his iPod and switches the alarm off, before placing it back down on his bedside table roughly and rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Morning," I greet him, smiling sheepishly as he sat up, groaning and stretching. He blinks his cerulean eyes sleepily at me and smiles a bit.

"Hey," He mumbles, slowly getting up and grabbing his school uniform out of his cupboard. "How do you sit there all night and not explode from boredom?" He asks me as he walks past where I was sitting to his duchess and pulls out some underwear and school socks.

I shrug. "It's rather calming, really – I can think clearly when I'm dead… so I just think the whole time." I reply casually, my eyes following him as he settles his uniform over his chair and makes his bed. "I bet being dead gives you so much thinking time that we probably end up discovering things scientists haven't discovered yet." Len rolls his eyes at this.

"Right. I would probably go insane from being so… _still_ for a long time. What did you do before you came and decided to annoy me?" He says this while smiling, but the last part of what he said sort of hurt.

I stop to think for a moment, staring at the white wall behind him. It was strange – all of this seemed so long ago, but it really happened possibly a few days ago. Len stops making his bed and looks at me in curiosity. "It was weird… it was dark for a really long time…" I trail off as I tried to recall all that happened, "I couldn't remember anything. But then, I remembered suddenly my name… and I just… popped up in the middle of space. Literally, I was staring at the Milky Way… it was breathtaking. I remembered my age, where I lived… I began rushing forward quickly – at the speed of light, even faster…! Before I finally… saw Earth… and Venus and Mars… and all the other planets…" Len's attention was completely devoted to the bull-crap that I most certainly sounded like I was uttering. He stares at me, wide-eyed.

"I sat there for a while, just looking at Earth rotating slowly… I remember… golden lights floating all around me and voices – people's voices, dogs barking and cats meowing… animals roaring. Then I remembered my family and friends… my life. Slowly, I came closer to Earth and to Japan… and finally, I could see people walking around in the streets," I went quiet for a moment, thinking a little bit more – how did I get here? "I saw… Miku crying – beside someone's body in a hospital bed… I-it was mine. But I wasn't exactly on Earth yet. I was floating in the sky – flying high. I felt so bad… so guilty and decided I wanted Miku to be happy. So… I thought of you – Len. She said she liked you and was so happy when she spoke about you. Just like that, I was standing in front of your house! It was bizarre. I-is that what happens when you die?" I crack a nervous smile, fumbling my hands together and looking down. That sounded so ridiculous and silly – would he believe me?

Len doesn't reply for a while, so I look up at him. He was staring at me silently, his jaw a bit slack. "I don't know… I've never died before. If I have, then I probably wouldn't remember it anyway." He goes back to making his bed, not saying anymore. Did he believe what I said?

We don't talk much after that. I made sure to keep clear, just watching from afar as he and Miku talked at school. I stare down at the couple from the cherry blossom tree branches.

"Are you doing anything on Saturday?" Len asks – his face red as usual. Miku matches him, her cheeks pink. Miku's face falls noticeably, she switches her gaze to her hands and hesitates before answering.

"_A-ano_… I've already got something planned on Saturday, but…" Len's expression turns wretched, "I have got Sunday free." Miku nervously brushes her hair out of her face and looks at Len. He smiles weakly.

"Then…" He thinks for a moment, "Would you like to go to the movies with me on Sunday?" Miku smiles at him, clasping her hands in front of her chest.

"S-sure! I would love that." She exclaims, giggling. I wish I was alive to tease her about this; it's so cute seeing her embarrassed.

I get distracted by a butterfly fluttering around my head. Why is it fluttering around my head? I freak out a bit, swatting my hand and loosing balance from the branches. The next moment, I'm falling.

"Oof!" I cry out, strangely enough, as I hit the ground with a _thud_. That… hurt? I stare up at the blue sky in confusion. Why did I just _fall out_? Why couldn't I fly? Lastly… why did it _hurt_?

"A-ah! Did you hear that?" I hear Miku cry. "It sounded like someone was falling or something!" I roll over and look at Miku glancing around frantically. Len was looking at me strangely… his expression staggered.

"No, I don't think I heard anything…?" Len lies, his face turning red (again). Miku jumps up and peers around, frowning. That's weird; Miku doesn't usually care about _noises_. Who would she be expecting…? "Why, where did you hear it?" He gets up and follows Miku around to near where I sat, rubbing my head.

"Here?" She points in confusion at me. I pull a face, huffing. How did she hear me? Is it normal for people to hear ghosts falling out of trees?

Len covers his mouth to stop himself from… laughing? He smiles apologetically and shrugs. "Well, I don't see anything suspicious…" He trails off as he looks at me – almost accusingly, "Let's not worry about it, okay? Maybe it was just a branch falling down. Do you want to go back now?"

Miku looks shaken. "Y-yeah, maybe I was just hearing things. I'm sorry I overreacted… I-I've just been a bit…" She looks a little disappointed for some reason. "Never mind. Let's go…" She hurries off and gets her bento. Len looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"W-what was that?" He hisses, trying not to let Miku notice.

"My clumsiness," I frown unhappily, folding my arms over my chest and crossing my legs. "I-it hurt. Sorry if I startled you." Len looks taken aback and opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Miku.

"L-Len-kun? Are you coming?" She calls in a nervous tone, glancing back at him from the bench. Len nods briefly.

"Yeah, sorry." He hurries off behind her and I watch them walk off across the oval. I sigh.

What was that?

* * *

It seemed like I was dreaming. "N-no!" I shouted, thrashing about as the darkness covers my body – binding me. "N-no!" A sharp pain rips through my left arm; bringing tears to my eyes and managing a gurgling scream erupt from my mouth. Where's Len when I need him?

But the darkness and pain fizzed away… and I was sitting in the corner of Len's room. My fingers and toes felt tingly. Did I just black out?

Jostling me in alarm, Len enters with his schoolbag slung over his shoulder and squeaks in surprise as he saw me by his wall, quickly wiping away tears that somehow were running down my cheeks.

"W-what- I just heard you screaming a second ago…?" He asks, quietly shutting his bedroom door behind him and looking at me with a face full of concern. I smile weakly, looking away. He wouldn't believe me if a _ghost _was sleeping and dreaming, right? "I was looking out for you all day after lunch. Where were you?"

Blankness sweeps across my mind as I tried to recall what happened after watching them walk off. It's like someone had covered my face with a veil. "I… don't remember." I mumble, staring at my hands. Startled, I yelp in shock. My hands-! They were disappearing. Len blinks, walking closer.

"Are you okay?" He leans close, making me duck away in embarrassment. If I were alive I would be blushing. I shakily show him my hands and his eyes widen. "You-your feet too…" He gestures to my shoes – my favourite pair of orange ballet flats. The tip of them was also even more translucent.

"I don't understand!" I cry out. "I don't remember anything! I woke up here… I was having a nightmare…" I trail off as I realised what I said. Len stares at me, frowning. He puts his school bag on the ground and sits down in front of me.

"You tell me… you were _sleeping_?" It didn't sound like he believed me. I look down and sigh, putting my head in my hands. "Is that why you were screaming and crying? Because you were having a nightmare?" Len sighs, massaging his head.

"Don't worry about it." I huff, now crossing my arms in frustration. "Now I'm confused. I honestly don't know." I stand up and walk over to his desk, looking at the row of images on the top shelf. Sighing, I point towards the one of Len playing the piano. "I used to play piano when I was alive. You should play for me some time."

Len shakes his head and blushes. "I-I'm not very good at it." He murmurs, turning away and unpacking his schoolbag. I grin, walking around and peering at his face.

"Neither was I." I state, placing my hands on my hips. He frowns at me. "Hey, I'm dead and I don't really care. I won't judge you for it. Regardless, piano music is still beautiful whether it's from Beethoven or Beginner's Piano Book 1." I hold my hands up, to only realise that there wasn't very much of them left to be taken seriously.

He exhales, ignoring me. Sometimes, I think this dude has PMS issues. He seems to be sometimes caring and considerate but then he can be cold and distant. It's weird… I don't like it.

"Cheer up, bug-a-lug. I'll be gone before you know it." I mutter, stalking back over to my corner. He doesn't reply.

We don't talk much all afternoon. He seems to be in a bad mood, so I steer clear and just wander around his house instead. I watch his mother do chores and follow her around the house as she fixes everything up – straightening a pillow, flattening a mat, dusting a chair…

When she's trying to reach a sock in the dryer I might just _bump _it a little closer so she can claim it. And when she drops the pen she's using to write on the shopping list I prevent it from rolling too far away. Len's mother is cute… and reminds me of my mother.

I feel suddenly lonely. I wonder what my parents were doing now. Were they thinking about me? Were they packing up my bedroom and placing it in the attic, knowing there's no use of them anymore? Were they… sad?

I come across a family portrait in the living room. It was Len when he was a bit younger – maybe 12 or 13 – with his parents. They all looked so happy. Are they a close family? Or is this just a pretend happy family?

My family was close. Of course, we fought like any other family. I would go to my room and slam the door when I didn't get my way – my mother and father argued sometimes over work. I remember crying when I was little because my parents had a huge fight and didn't talk for a week.

I wonder if Len's parents fight much… That's right; I hardly ever see his dad. I think they fight sometimes by the way Len stays in his room so much. He doesn't seem to have a very close relationship with any of them; I think.

"Len-kun, do you want any afternoon tea?" I hear his mother call from the kitchen. I sit down on the lounge chair and listen to see if he replies or not.

"Ah…" Len calls as he decides, "I might have a banana." I hear him come down the hallway, going into the kitchen and opening the fridge. "Where are the bananas?" He asks. Len's mum chuckles.

"In the crisper." She replies as she walks out of the kitchen and past me in the lounge room, smiling to herself. I think she loves her son, despite his antisocial personality. Or maybe she finds his banana addiction funny? I tilt my head as she disappears into the hallway.

Len walks into the lounge room, munching on a banana. He sits on the couch beside me and stretches, reaching over and switching the TV on with the remote. I stare at the screen as he flicks through the channel and stops at the one that airs anime shows. _Dragon Ball Z_ is playing.

"Does your mum know you see ghosts?" I ask him after a while. Len shrugs.

"Angels," He mumbles, "She's convinced I see angels." I laugh at that. She is very sweet sounding. I don't blame her for believing that we're angels… I mean; ghosts are what usually are scary and crap that Hollywood likes to make up.

"Interesting." I comment, watching as Len finishes his last bite of banana. "Do you like bananas?" He blushes conscientiously and scratches the back of his head.

"Yeah, I do." He says into his hand in embarrassment. "Uh, did you like bananas?" Len's gaze is fixed on the television screen, although I don't think he's interested in _Dragon Ball Z_.

"A bit. I liked mandarins more, though. They're my favourite food." I sigh as I wish I could eat them… but being dead doesn't mean you need to feed your body anymore. He nods.

"Mandarins are nice snacks." He goes all stiff and blushes, "A-ah… d-do you know what food Miku-chan likes?" He's all flustered; I can't help but laugh at his embarrassment when he talks about her.

"Believe it or not, but she _loves _spring onions." I grin and look down, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. "I bought her a spring onion charm for her birthday last year. I literally thought she was going to eat it!" Len's smiling, that dreamy look in his eyes as he is probably thinking about her. I suddenly remember something that makes my smile disappear. "Oh… it's August, right? Her birthday's at the end of this month… I'm going to miss it."

Len looks at me with sympathy. Why sympathy? I can't change the fact that I'm dead. "That's it!" He exclaims suddenly, making me jump in surprise. "Will you come shopping with me to buy her a birthday present?" He looks at me with large, pleading cerulean eyes.

"S-sure…" I mumble as I felt uncomfortable from the direct eye-contact. He sometimes looks at you as if he were staring straight into your soul. Suddenly, Len and I are jostled by Len's mum entering the room with a concerned look on her face.

"Len-kun, are you alright? I heard you talking… are you talking to me or…?" She purses her lips and clasps her hands under her chin. Len turns a bit red.

"U-um…" He starts gesturing to me with his hands, "Talking to…" He points at me and she raises her eyebrows.

"Oh, sorry." She glances at my shoulder and smiles. "Nice to meet you," She says to my chest, bowing respectfully. Then, flustered, she runs out of the room.

"She said it's nice to meet my boobs." I mutter, face-palming in embarrassment. Len shakes his head and smiles.

"She does that with everyone."

* * *

"So," I say as Len and I walk to his house on Friday afternoon, after school. "Are we going shopping tomorrow?" Len seems to be daydreaming about Miku or something because he was drooling slightly. He blushes when I catch him off-guard and quickly wipes the drool off his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yeah. Tomorrow seems like a good time." He murmurs, placing his hands in his pockets. I chuckle.

"You should buy her flowers." I suggest, walking ahead and turning back to him so I was facing him. "She'd love you forever." Len looks at his feet in embarrassment.

"Wouldn't they die?"

"But you can just give them to her on Sunday… as an early birthday present." I grin cheekily and grab my hair-tie from around my wrist, before shoving my short hair into a ponytail to mimic Len's hairstyle. "_Oh Miku-chan, I heard it was your birthday soon… so I bought you these~ Oh no, don't thank me… just kiss me!_" I make kissing noises and Len covers his face.

"Mmh-! F-fine! Just stop doing that." He speaks into his hands. Ha-ha, he's so funny to embarrass.

"I like you, Len-kun." I declare while pulling out my hair-tie. Len looks up from out of his hands, surprised. "You're always kind and considerate towards everyone. I'm glad Miku-chan likes you and not some jerk. You make her happy… and I like that." I turn away and run off quickly to the intersection, stopping at the other side and waiting. I needed to get away from him once I said that, because I felt… jumpy. Why did I feel nervous after saying that? Weird…

Eventually, Len caught up with me – still flustered and acting really awkward. He looks the other way the whole time until we reach his house. Did I say something wrong? Did I offend him in any way? I'm sure I didn't, I complimented him. Boys are strange.

I sit in the corner of Len's bedroom as usual while he sits at his desk doing homework. He seems to be stuck on something so he's drawing on another piece of paper instead – procrastinating. Curiosity gets ahead of me and I jump up, walking over to him and peering over his shoulder.

He was drawing a girl who looks like Miku. She's smiling and resting her head in her hand while looking directly at us. The details in it were magnificent and she looks so beautiful… I sigh in admiration at Len's talent.

"That's amazing." I point out and he gets startled, turning around quickly and blushing when he sees me leaning over his shoulder.

"A-ah, I thought you were mum for a second…" He pauses and smiles sheepishly. "Thank you."

"What's wrong with your mum seeing your drawing?" I ask in curiosity, watching as he continues to sketch her hair. Len shrugs.

"It's embarrassing… she'll tease me about my crush and I'll never hear the end of it!" He frowns.

"Isn't that what parents are for?" I laugh, tucking some hair behind my ear. I lean up against the wall and watch him continue to draw. He looks so calm when he's drawing. Maybe he should become an artist? A singing, piano-playing artist…

"Don't move." Len suddenly orders. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. He looks at me, as if studying my features and starts sketching into his sketchbook. Was he… drawing me? I watched as he drew my face – my eyes wide and filled with curiosity looking in his direction, my lips curved into a small smile and my bangs clipped back by two white hairpins.

"When can I move?" I ask, frowning. He glares up at me.

"Not now. Stop frowning."

"Eh…" Suddenly I thought of an idea. "How about you draw a picture of Miku and give it to her for her birthday?" Len doesn't look up, but nods to show as if he's listening. "She loved that other one you drew for her." He glances up at me, caught by surprise at the thing I just said.

"You saw that?" He blushes, looking back down at his drawing.

"Yeah, she showed me one day after school because we used to hang out. I've never seen anyone so happy." Len smiles to himself, continuing to sketch me. Now I was leaning against a wall. He drew the ribbon in my hair and the exact same clothes, shading it carefully.

Finally, he finishes it and beckons me over to look at it. Wow, he made me look… so… so _pretty_. I mean, honestly, I don't even look that good in real life. I was in awe with a drawing of myself. How is that even possible?

"Wow…" I breathe, staring at it, "How do you make people look so _model-like _when they aren't even that amazing in real life? That's talent right there." Len glares at me, frowning.

"You aren't ugly, if that's what you're trying to say." He snaps, like he was defending my beauty. "Don't put yourself down like that… you… you're pretty, you know that?" He gets flustered and looks down at the sketch book.

I smile sadly. "Thank you." I mumble softly in embarrassment. "No need to flatter me so." Len rolls his eyes.

"I usually draw ghosts I've seen or met in here. Or just people I like… such as Miku-chan." He murmurs, flicking back to the first page of the book. "I started drawing them in here since I was about… 8 years old." The first page is a drawing in a cartoon style, a bit messy and missing some technique but still pretty good for an 8 year old kid.

It was a drawing of a boy with sad eyes and freckles, holding a matted teddy bear. Above the drawing had his name, 'Piko'. He turns a couple of pages forward to a picture – his style progressing a bit more – of a woman with long hair and a distant look on her face, holding a cigarette up to her lips. 'Miriam' was her name.

"Wow," I whisper, fascinated. He flicks past a couple of more drawings… until he reaches mine – the newest one. "You've progressed heaps." I comment. Len runs his fingers through his fringe and smiles at me.

"Thanks." He closes the book and places it in a drawer. "I draw ghosts because… I like to be reminded of the people I meet. Some of them are nice, you know." He looks at me, his cerulean gaze meeting mine. "You're a bit different… you weren't really seeking much and you're not impatient or rude. You let me have space. Some of them… just bug me and follow me around to near insanity."

He leans back and stretches, rubbing his eyes. I felt warm inside after he said that… that means he likes me, right? I look at the ground and smile sadly. "It would've been nice to meet you before you died." He adds, looking down at his homework. I blink in confusion – did I just hear him properly?

"Maybe I'll reincarnate as someone different." I point out calmly, still staring at the ground, "Then we can meet." He gazes at me with interest, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.

"Maybe."

* * *

Len and I stood in a gift shop, looking at the all sorts of gifts on display. I found a really cute Farfetch'd Pokémon plush holding a spring onion and called Len over to look at it.

"This is cute," I point at the plush doll sitting on the shelf. "She thinks Pokémon are cute." I add cheerfully. Len thinks for a moment, stroking his chin in thought.

"You think she'll like it…?" He mumbles, before turning to a keychain with a teal-coloured pig hanging off it. "I thought she'd go for something like this." I could see the shop assistant glancing over at him in curiosity.

"Why don't you buy both?" I suggest, shrugging. I stalked over to where the mugs were kept and spotted a really cute orange polka dot one. "Ah," I murmur, "How cute~" I hadn't noticed Len sneaking up behind me.

"Which one?" He asks in a low voice, making me jump in fright. I bite down my bottom lip.

"N-never mind." I say quickly, waving my hand around to show '_It's nothing_', "How about putting the keychain and plush in a box?" I gesture towards some decorated gift boxes below the mugs. I point at a blue-green box with hearts and flowers on it. "That one?" Len blushes when he notices it has hearts on it.

"Y-you don't think it'd be cheesy, do you?" He mumbles, picking it up and admiring it. Just at that moment, the shop assistant pops up in between Len and me.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" She asks chirpily, but she looked like she was suspicious. Len shakes his head quickly.

"No thanks, we- um, I'm just browsing." He responds, smiling calmly. The shop assistant tilts her head and smiles back, putting her arms around her back.

"Alright. Just let me know if there's anything." She disappears off to startle some other customers. Len looks at me and frowns.

"She scared the crap out of me." He mutters. I laugh, nodding.

"I think she heard you talking to me." I think for a moment, "Talking to _yourself _in her eyes." He rolls his eyes and shrugs.

"What can I say? I see dead people." He looks at the things he has grabbed. "You think this is enough? Will she like them?" He looks a bit worried for a moment and I smile, nodding.

"Regardless, she'll love them." I say softly. "She even loved my horrible birthday and Christmas gifts. I always felt bad when I gave her gifts because her gifts beat mine by the mile. But it's the thought that goes into them, right?" I touch his shoulder to comfort him. He doesn't flinch or react strangely like other people do. He just looks at me, his eyes wide.

"Your touch doesn't feel cold…" He mumbles, turning away, "How unusual." I stare at him as he goes up to the counter to buy the goods. Doesn't it? I look at my half-visible hand. You could no longer see my fingers now, just a bit of my palm. It is secretly distressing me.

So Len and I now move on to a florist, looking at the flowers on display. "Which flowers do you think she likes?" He asks me under his breath. I shrug.

"She loves Sapphire Tower and Chrysanthemum." I state, gesturing at some Sapphire Towers and Chrysanthemum sitting in the corner. The yellow flowers next to them caught my eye and I went closer, discovering they were yellow roses and sunflowers.

"Do you think I should get them?" He strokes the petals on one of them. I nod.

"Why not? They are her favourite after all."

Len grabs one with Chrysanthemum, Sapphire Tower and other various flowers planted in a teal box decorated with a bow and makes his way up to the cashier. I look at the sunflowers and yellow roses before leaning over and sniffing them. They smelt so nice… I took one look at them and turn to follow Len out of the shop.

"Man~" Len sighs as we were walking back. "I'm buggered. Who knew birthday shopping could be so _exhausting_?" He looks at me and grins. I shrug, stretching my arms out in front of me.

"Who knew being dead could be so exhausting?" I joke, grinning back. He rolls his eyes, scratching the back of his head.

"No way, you get it easy. You just sit back and watch everyone do everything for you." He grumbles and even though he didn't mean it in a rude way, it sort of offended me.

"Well, it's not my fault for being translucent all the time. Sometimes I wish I could hit idiots but all it does is makes them sneeze." I frown, scratching my chin. Len opens his mouth in an 'o' shape and holds up his empty hand.

"Whoa, now, grumpy pants. Didn't know ghosts still get PMS even when their dead!" He suddenly breaks into a sprint, running away from me.

"Huh? What'd ya call me?" I yell after him, putting my hands on my hips. "Boys! So rude and mannerless." I huff, rolling my eyes.

I manage to catch up to Len at the intersection. He's red in the face and grinning cheekily. I raise my eyebrow and hit him on the arm playfully.

"That's for being mean and leaving me behind!" I exclaim, frowning. He laughs, but suddenly falls silent as he notices someone behind me. I turn, slowly and walking up ahead is Miku. "Oh, Miku-chan!" The frown I once had is replaced by a sad smile. Len looks at me curiously.

"Do you think I should talk to her?" He asks warily, nodding down at the presents he had in the shopping bags. I shrug – you can't really see the presents anyway, so…

"Why not?" I suggest, walking ahead so I was next to Miku-chan. She seems upset, her lips turned down and her eyebrows meeting. I glance over her shoulder at Len who was still trying to catch up.

"Miku-chan!" Len calls when he's about a meter distance away. Miku's expression turns from surprise to happiness as she glances over her shoulder and sees Len, puffing and red-faced. He beams at her and she blushes.

"H-hello, Len-kun!" She stammers, waving. "How is your Saturday?" She asks when Len reaches her side. Len scratches his head and laughs nervously.

"W-well it's been alright… how's yours?" He peers at her face and Miku smiles sadly, her shoulders sagging a bit. I wonder why she's so down today. Miku looks down at the footpath and manages a small sigh.

"Ah, well… it hasn't been the best Saturday I've had this year. But…" She trails off as she thinks about something, before turning to Len, "I guess it was okay." She smiles weakly at him and Len frowns in concern.

"Is something wrong Miku-chan, I-if you don't mind me asking?" He asks slowly and Miku goes a bit stiff and silent. Len notices this and quickly tries to apologize, "_A-ano_, s-sorry for asking… you don't have to tell me! I mean, it's none of my business." He gets all flustered and I chuckle behind my hand. Did he just glare at me? Unf… he's so bipolar.

Miku sighs, shaking her head. "No… its fine, it's just… I don't want to talk about it at the moment. I'll tell you later, okay?" She says softly. "I understand your concern, but it's a subject that I don't want to discuss right now." Len nods in understanding.

"I see. I'm sorry." He murmurs.

"N-no, it's fine!"

"But it was none of my business to be asking, so I'm sorry!" Len's getting all flustered again, waving his free hand around. I snort and giggle as they began to bicker.

"Len-kun, really! I'm glad you have concern. Don't worry about it." Miku shakes her head, but she's smiling. Seeing her smile makes me smile too.

"But-"

"SO! Did you go shopping, today?" Miku quickly interrupted Len's response. She nods at the bags Len was holding and he quickly pulls them behind them, smiling sheepishly. Jeez… that's not suspicious _at all_.

"Uh- well, yeah." He murmurs, scratching his head and looking down. "…for my mum." He adds in a low tone. I shake my head and sigh. Len was really terrible at keeping secrets and talking to girls.

"That's nice." Miku comments, staring off into the distance. "Hmm… Len-kun, may I ask when your birthday is?" She glances at him. Len blushes, smiling at her.

"It's in December," He replies, "on the 27th." It was like the whole world just froze. Miku went pale and her jaw went ajar slightly, her eyes widening at the same time. I stopped walking in pure shock and I suddenly felt cold all over. Did he just say… _December 27__th_? Len notices both Miku and I's reactions and looks concerned. "Is… something wrong?" He asks innocently.

Miku puts her hand up to her face. "A-ah… excuse me…" She squeaks and suddenly breaks out into a hurry. Len goes to chase after her, but I reach out and grab his arm – not very successfully, because my hand goes straight through.

"Don't!" I scream just as he started to run, "Don't!" I repeat and he hesitates, looking over at me. He was clearly worried. I shake my head furiously just to tell him _no_. My body was trembling all over – I was in shock too.

"What's wrong?" Len asks as he came closer. "What did I do?" His eyes were wide. I shake my head again.

"You did nothing… just…" I hesitate, "Miku-chan reacted that way… because…" Len leans in to listen what I was murmuring, "…that was my birthday." The last part came across as a whisper. I stare at the ground, studying the cracks in the concrete. "So don't chase after her. Let her be."

* * *

Len found it fascinating to have the same birthday as me. I don't blame him; I, too, would be fascinated if… I was still _alive_. After Miku had ran off, he said he felt guilty. Why? He was only being honest – he can't help it I was born on the same day as him, anyway.

I stare at Len's sleeping body through the darkness of his room. We didn't talk much after that. What was there to talk about? I sigh into the silence, hugging my knees to my chest. Sometimes I think about the questions I could ask him… but sometimes there's just too many I _can't _ask him.

"Hey," Len's voice startles my thoughts and I glance up. He now sat up in his bed, looking at me. Is something bothering him? "That… that nightmare you were talking about you had the other day… can I ask what it was about?" He sounds anxious. I thought he didn't believe me.

"I-it was… dark and painful…" I murmur, "I couldn't move, it hurt so much. It felt so real. That makes me wonder – can a ghost feel pain? Do souls feel pain even after they leave the body?" Silence follows my words.

"Maybe they do…" Len replies softly after a while, "It's different from the pain you feel when you're alive, probably. Maybe it's the after effects from leaving your body? You feel exposed and without protection?"

"Maybe. But it is strange… it doesn't feel any different from pain you feel while alive." I comment, resting my head on my arms. "It felt as if I were getting tortured. I-I was scared." I can hear Len's breathing in the silence.

"Strange indeed… I never thought ghosts could sleep – or have nightmares anyway. I mean, there's no reason for you to sleep anyway? Technically, you don't need to recharge your body at all because you no longer _have _one." Len sighs in confusion. "But… ghosts appear as humans or animals. That's what I don't get."

"Well, it would be pretty random just talking to a random blob of light, right?" I chuckle, "Maybe it's better to appear as a human or animal so they can… relate to their life. Say, if a loved one sees ghosts, you'd want them to recognise you, huh?"

"I guess." Len mumbles. Silence lingers for a few moments as he thinks. "Hey, what's it like to-… to _die_?" Len puts an emphasis on die which makes me flinch. I still don't like to think I'm dead – it leaves an aching emptiness in my chest.

"It's peaceful… and quiet…" I articulate, thinking a bit. What is it like to die? "I speculate it's like going to sleep, but knowing you'll never wake up again alive. You feel comfortable and at amity at last. But then… it's a little melancholy too." My words seem to loiter in the air, hanging over our heads like heavy rain clouds.

"Do you believe in… angels?" Len asks, sounding weary. I smile to myself as he yawns.

"Of course I do. Angels are those… who keep the world going around, I guess." I notice Len had fallen asleep because of his soft snoring. "They safeguard us and are nearby us all the time… seeing over us." I whisper.

_Do ghosts become angels after they pass over?_

* * *

_Wow, that was a terrible chapter (orz). Some weird things are happening to Rin! :O -dun dun dun-_

_Random fact - Rin dies (roughly) 39 times in vocaloid songs and Len dies (roughly) 16 times in vocaloid songs. Rin dies... too much... XD Yes, I Googled that since I'm sick of people complaining about Len dying so much. -uncomfortable laughter-_

**_Review replies:_**

_Lynn 'Ne'-chan - Yes(?)~ It's a secret! -shot- Sorry, I'm not revealing the plot yet~ (although it's so obvious -sigh-) Thanks for the review!_

_Ae123monkey - Wah, I'm sort of glad and not glad that made you sad ; w ;b It was supposed to be emotional, which is good but I wasn't intending to make people nearly cry... but... that's good since I got the emotion right XD Thank you so much for the review!_

_Guest (posted on 7/3/12) - Haha, thanks! You'll see soon!_

_Guest (signed by 'Saph', posted on 7/4/12) - Thank you~~ ^^ You'll see in the future chapters, since I'm not revealing anything more... I hope you enjoyed this update, though! Thank you for the review._

_DJdarkmoon - Thanks for the review! :D_

_Guest (posted on 7/4/12) - Thank you! Well, I hope you liked chapter two! ^^ I'll try to finish it... X'D_

_Guest (posted on 7/12/12) - Thank you for the review~~_

_Uh yeah, sorry for my lame replies. I have terrible conversational skills. Unless you want to hear facts about science... (-cough-)_

_Next is Chapter three! It's almost done!_

_Please review and tell me what you think, guys~~!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hellooo, new chapter update! (I sort of finished it the day I uploaded chapter two, so I waited a bit -shot-)_

_Yay! Thanks for the new reviews, favourites and follows! I will reply to them as usual, at the bottom!_

_(Unf, this is a pretty slack chapter X'D) Enjoy~_

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"Hey…" Someone calls, sounding distant, "Hey… hello, are you awake?" My eyes flutter open, greeting another's large azure ones – Len's. Suddenly, I lean back in surprise and embarrassment because of how close Len's face seemed to mine and let my head _hit _the wall.

"H-had I been sleeping?" I murmur, looking at the floor and rubbing my head. That hurt…

"It appeared like it." He replies, walking across the room away from where I was resting. He's already dressed for his date with Miku. How long had I been sleeping? "You hadn't even stirred when I woke up." I look up and see the concern on his face as he looks at me. "Of all the ghosts I've dealt with so far, you've been the one who falls asleep." He cracks a smile.

"Oh," I blink in confusion, "I'm sorry." Slowly, I stand up and stretch sleepily. How did I fall asleep?

"There's no need to apologize." He comments calmly, looking down at my legs. "Um, you sort of have no calves." He points and I glance down, seeing that my legs fade off into oblivion at my knees.

"That's unfortunate." I mutter, looking at my hands to check if they were still there. My hands no longer were there – my arm fades off at my wrist. I sigh unhappily. "Looks like I have no hands either." Len stares at me for a moment, as if he's inspecting me.

"Did you dream?" He asks after a moment of silence. I try to think back into my sleep… But all that I could remember was talking to Len about angels.

"I don't reminisce," I reply simply, following him as he walks down the hallway. "Are you going to the movies now?" I cock my head to the side. "What time is it, anyway?"

Len nods briefly and gestures towards the clock on the wall to our left that read 10:30 AM. So he is going to the cinema already? I sort of expected him to go in the afternoon, not really the morning… but…

"Are you two going to have lunch?" I suddenly work out his plan. Len smiles in embarrassment and blushes.

"I hope so," He mumbles as he walks into the lounge room to see his mother. Len's mother is watching a cooking show while writing notes on a pad. Is she taking notes from the show? "Mum," Len says calmly, "I'm going now." She looks up and smiles.

"Oh, a date is it?" She throws her notebook down and jumps up, grabbing Len's cheeks and squishing them in an uncomfortable way. "My little Lenny is growing all up~!" She squeaks. Len does not look the least bit impressed. She lets go of her son and flops back down onto the couch. "Don't stay out late, okay?"

Len nods stiffly, touching his face where his mother had strangled him. "Yes, mum. Goodbye," He manages to murmur before dashing out the door. He gazes at me and exhales slowly. "My mum sometimes acts like an overexcited pre-schooler." He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his fringe.

"I think it's cute she does that," I laugh. Len has a painful expression on his face.

"Seriously?" He mutters. "It sometimes gets annoying."

"But she loves you," I state calmly, clasping my hands behind my back, "and that's all that matters, right?" Len looks down, but I can tell he's smiling.

"I guess," He sighs and turns away, staring at the houses we were passing by. "You always speak so positively. I wish I could be like that." Is he blushing? There is a light pink hue on his cheeks from where I could see.

"There are no reason saying negative things, though. It makes everyone else unhappy. Things may always appear sad and wrong when you think negatively, but if you think positively they're really not that bad, right? If you don't like it, change the way you look at it." I tilt my head to the side and he looks back at me, a blush still on his cheeks.

"I guess so." He mumbles, looking away quickly. An awkward silence stretches in between us, lingering for what seems to be hours but its only minutes.

"Are you going on the subway?" I ask to break the silence. He shrugs.

"Well, yeah. There's no way I'm walking to the cinema." I chuckle and shake my head at his sarcastic remark.

"Obviously," I reply, looking up at the clear blue sky.

Len's body is squished up against the wall of the train as we travel to the suburb the cinema was located in. He looks pained, so the best thing I can do to prevent people from standing on top of him is by attempting to shove others away to give him breathing space. It doesn't work, because… I am dead and I have no hands.

The minutes roll by as we stop at other various stations – a few people get off but many people get on. The air in the carriage is thick and heavy with humidity now. Even Len is sweating a bit. He looks extremely relieved when we finally reach the stop at the cinema.

I follow him out of the carriage and up an escalator, to a small shopping mall. He glances at his watch and looks at me. "The cinema is this way, I think," He says in a low voice, his head ducked down as we pass other people. To our luck, it is, with Miku waiting patiently for him outside on some comfy-looking chairs.

"Len-kun!" She exclaims, smiling broadly and jumping up from her seat to greet him. Len blushes and smiles weakly back at her, failing to hide his happiness and embarrassment. I find myself smiling with them.

"Good morning, Miku-chan," He greets shyly. Miku blushes, looking down in embarrassment and trying to hide behind her lengthy, teal hair. I quickly lean over and nudge Len in the ribs, gesturing towards the bag which he had her flowers in. He became flustered.

"A-ah, yes… M-Miku-chan…" He stammers as he pulls them out of his bag, "T-these are for you. As an early… birthday present." He mutters, staring at his feet as he shoves them at her. Miku's face lit-up like a child's who is being offered candy.

"_M-mou_!" She exclaims, taking them from his grasp and hugging them to her chest. "Thank you so much!" She bows several times, before hesitating and suddenly looking a bit confused. "H-how did you know my birthday is coming up?" Len stiffens and puts his hand over his mouth, thinking.

He takes his hand off his mouth and smiles nervously. "I-I just had a hunch…" He shrugs. I sigh and roll my eyes… such silly excuses. I expected him to have thought this over earlier, but he hasn't. Miku laughs, smiling at him.

"A hunch, huh?" She asks melodiously, turning away. "Let's go and buy some tickets before the line gets too long!" Len grins, nodding briefly before glancing back at me. He gave me a look that seemed to ask; _are you coming? _I shake my head and smile sadly. I'll leave those two alone.

"I'll just look around, okay?" I say, before turning away and walking off. I can still feel his gaze on me for a while, as if he is curious to know where I am heading to.

_Where am I heading to?_

* * *

I happen to be standing in a karaoke room with a couple of my friends. They were fussing about as usual, giggling over boys and arguing about who should sing first. I watch in envy as one of my closer school friends, Luka, steps up to the microphone with her head ducked down. I wish I could be there with them.

"Luka-chan!" Megumi calls before she chooses a song. Megumi was another friend of mine – she and I went to elementary school together. Megumi frowns, combing her apple-green bob with her fingers. "_Ano_… Is Miku-chan coming? Or is she… visiting…?" Several of my friends fidget awkwardly at the question, looking down and chewing on their bottom lips. Does Miku visit someone often who I don't know about?

"Ah, Gumi-tan… she's on a date with that Len boy from her school, right? She told us that on Friday afternoon." Luka replies edgily, her eyes scanning the few friends who have gone silent suddenly. "So that makes four of us. We all know that R-Rin-chan… i-is… _yeah_, Iroha-chan has the flu and Miku-chan is on a date…" Why has the atmosphere turned so… so _gloomy_? I want them to be happy, regardless if everyone is there or not – including me.

"Guys," Miki whispers from the corner, her head still ducked down and her cherry-coloured hair hiding her face. "Do you think Rin-chan will…?" She sounds as if she were in pain asking this. After not gaining an answer for a few minutes, she looks up. Her face is full of anxiety and her eyes were a bit teary. I gasp, but it goes unheard as usual.

"Miki-tan, we don't know… Miku-chan said her condition was fatal. She might never wake up." Luka murmurs. W-what does she mean by _'never wake _up'? My eyes scan the room frantically searching for clues and fall on Meiko who so far has been the only one who hasn't spoken. Meiko was one other good friend of mine from school as well. She sat quietly, her face void of emotions and her eyes stuck on the table that had all but a book that told you the songs available.

Meiko decides to join the conversation. "Rin-chan will pull through. She's invincible," Her mouth utters, but her face and eyes still frozen at that same dull expression. "Remember when she fell out of a tree when we were younger, Luka-tan? She got up straight after with no tears and demanded we took her to the hospital because her arm was broken…" Luka smiles sadly as she recalls this memory. I remember the memory, too – seeing all the shock and worry on Meiko, Luka and Miku's faces as I got up straight away. I evoke not wanting to cry… because that'd show I was weak…

"Y-yes… b-but, this is different, Meiko-nee. S-she got h-hurt very badly… s-she a-almost d-di-" Luka bursts into tears, startling me and the others who had been listening to Meiko and Luka's conversation. They rush to comfort Luka, pity overwhelming their faces. What did Luka want to say? I almost did _what_?

I felt dizzy all at once, stumbling backwards through the wall and into… into darkness. I could feebly see the karaoke room growing smaller and hazier as I am getting hoven backwards by an invisible force. I try to struggle free, to grip onto _authenticity_, but everything spirals around me and I fall headfirst onto the palms of my hands.

As if I awaken in a dissimilar place, I saw bleached, bright light – but pain struck my head and I squeak in shock – becoming once again unconscious. I could hear a comforting voice, far away, humming softly a familiar tune. Tears prick the back of my eyes and choke up my throat as I recognize I am again in the darkness, all alone.

But if I am alone… how come I can hear a voice near me? I want to move towards the singing… but the unseen hands have me tied down. I whimper, wishing that Len could be here to save me.

"_Go to sleep… do not hesitate, young one… for you shall be reborn happy and healthy amongst the stars. You do not need to be afraid; I shall be here beside you… to guide you…" _The voice murmurs softly. I felt as if I am in the ocean, rocking back and forth amid the waves. _"I know it's hard sometimes… to feel loved, but you must remember… mother will always love you… protect you…" _My worries seem to slip away – replaced by tranquillity and content feelings. _Who is singing? _I wonder, smiling in my daze. _"If it sometimes hurts, it's okay… I shall make you feel better… happier… go to sleep and do not hesitate anymore… just close your eyes and you shall be… in a place better than here…"_

A place better than here… the words seem to echo in my mind as I wonder what a place better than here would look like. A place with my friends and family… where I am happy and healthy… is that all I want?

I want to see Miku happy. That's right. If I don't see her happy, then I won't be happy too, right? Then why does it make my chest feel tight when I think of her being happy with Len? What's wrong with me?

The feeling of anxiety and wretchedness seems to return and I long for Len again. But why am I longing for Len's fortification? He can't _protect _me… he can only _see _me. How… why…?

_I want to wake up… I want to wake up… _I want to wake up… how to wake up… why to wake up… when…?

The darkness etches away slowly, to reveal familiar scenery around me. An elementary school with small school children playing games on a field of grass. The elementary school seemed familiar, until I realise… that was the elementary school I attended when I was young. I blink and shade my face with my hand from the bright sun high up in the sky.

I began walking across the stretch of green, staring at faces that I seemed… strangely acquainted to. My ears pick up a faint laughter in the far corner of the field, under some shabby trees. The tone wasn't happy laughter… it was _malicious_ sounding, echoing through the school grounds but going unheard by those having fun. I turn my head to spot a group of boys surrounding around another person.

As I walk over to survey the scene, I recognise some of the boys faces. They were… the school bullies from _my _childhood. I remember gruesome memories of them bullying me, making my insides cringe and my knees go wobbly.

A pathetic whimper escapes from the victim the boys were picking on. I lean over the shortest of the group, to spot a small boy looking down. Golden hair, messy with twigs and leaves was all I could see. The boy looks up with teary-eyes, frowning. He has large azure eyes and thick-framed black glasses crooked on his face. Blood dribbles slightly from nose and down his lips.

I couldn't stop gazing at the boy. I know who he is but I just couldn't place a finger on it. Who is he…? Who is he…? I ponder people who I knew that had those azure eyes and messy blonde hair. The result… made me go cold.

"Len…?" I murmur, staring at the small, helpless boy as the bullies hit and laugh at him when he cowers in pain and curls up, unable to stand up for himself. Pity overwhelms me as I want to go over and help him up. _You can't… _a voice tells me in my head softly, _this has already happened_.

It hit me as I remember that he was a fellow classmate once in my primary school years. I was in shock that I had forgotten so easily.

"Hey!" Someone shouts from behind me and I turn quickly, followed by the rest of the gang and Len's head turning towards that someone's voice. A small girl with short blonde hair storms up, her cerulean eyes blazing. Wait a minute… _that's me._

"Pick on someone your own size, meanies!" I – well, _mini Rin _exclaims, frowning unhappily. "You all smell like poop! If you don't leave him alone, I'm telling!" I couldn't help but chuckle at my boldness and interesting vocabulary. The bullies hoot spitefully, walking towards mini Rin who began to back away slowly, realising her mistake. She goes pale and her eyes widen.

"Is this your boyfriend, pinhead?" One chuckles while sneering at her. She blushes and shakes her head furiously – unable to get words out. They close in on her slowly, smirks carved into their cruel faces.

"Leave her alone!" Len cries from behind, running around and shoving one of the bullies over. He grabs her hand and pulls her away, dragging her off into the crowd of children. I follow quickly after them as they make their way through the crowd and the school to a secluded staircase far from the other youngsters.

Mini Rin bursts into tears, covering her face with her tiny delicate hands. "I hate them!" She cries, shaking her head. Len wipes his blood-nose on the sleeve of his shirt and walks up to her, patting her back in a comforting way.

"There you are, Rin-chan!" We all look at a mini version of Miku standing nearby, hands on her hips. She notices mini Rin crying and pouts. "What's wrong?" She asks, walking up to mini Rin and peering at her face. I notice Len has backed away a bit, gazing at Miku in some sort of hypnotic-daze. His cheeks are a bit pink and he's clutching the front of his shirt.

_Oh_, I think, _so he had a crush on Miku even in elementary school…_

Miku turns to Len and frowns at the cuts and scratches that covered Len's face, arms and legs. "What happened?" She asks, concern showing on her cute face. She looks long and hard at Len who seemed stiff and nervous, chewing his bottom lip.

"It was n-nothing," Len mumbles, running his fingers through his fringe, attempting to comb the leaves and twigs out of his flaxen hair. Mini Rin stops crying and wipes her eyes, snivelling loudly.

"No it wasn't!" She exclaims, stamping her foot. "Don't lie! Those bullies were hurting you!" Miku looks angry, folding her arms over her chest and staring at Len and mini Rin.

"Bullies?" She asks – her voice low. "Those bullies! I'll show them!" Her sudden outburst taken Len and mini Rin by surprise, making both jump. Miku lifts her hand up and smashes her opposite hand's fist against it. I couldn't help but laugh a little; her actions so unlike the Miku I knew today.

Mini Rin seems to notice Len's awkward motions around Miku, curiosity overwhelming her face as she peered at Len as Miku was wiping the blood off his face and combing the twigs out of his hair. A bit of jealousy flashes across her face, but it disappears quickly and she runs over, joining Miku.

The scene slowly hazes out – being replaced with the cinema in the shopping centre that I felt I had left only minutes ago. But to my surprise, Len and Miku were walking out, smiling and laughing. Suddenly, Len turns a bit red and asks Miku something. Miku blushes and nods quickly, before they start turning in the direction for the food court.

Ah, so they _are_ going to have lunch. I follow quickly after them as they decide which place to eat. Eventually, they go into an Italian restaurant where the waiter leads them to a table by the window over-looking the street below. I take a seat at a table not too far away in the corner, keeping an eye on their conversation.

"So," I overhear Len saying as they both took a look at the menu. "Did you enjoy the movie?" He asks cheerfully. Miku smiles, tucking a strand of turquoise hair behind her ear.

"Yes, it was hilarious~!" She giggles cutely, her teal eyes twinkling like stars. "Did you like it, Len-kun?" She asks, resting her chin in her hands and gazing at him affectionately. Len nods, grinning and scratching the back of his head.

"Of course, didn't you hear me laughing?" He asks her with a casual smile, placing his menu down. Miku blushes and laughs nervously, twirling her hair with one finger.

"Y-yeah~" She sighs dreamily, looking back down at her menu. Len's gaze wanders over to me and he smiles a bit, before turning his head and viewing the window. Miku looks back up after a few moments of silence. "What are you ordering?" She asks.

"Ah, I was going to order spaghetti bolognaise." He replies quietly, looking down. His cheeks are a bit pink. "And you?"

"Hmm, spaghetti sounds nice…" Miku trails off, staring into the distance and tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I might get that too!" Just on cue, a waiter comes by and asks if they're ready to order. They order happily and thank the waiter as he walks off.

The two continue their conversation until their lunch arrives, where they both dig in (Okay, just eating… they didn't really eat like dogs or anything since they were trying their best to impress each other) and finish their lunch within moments.

Soon later, they pay, leave and start walking to the subway while chatting auspiciously. I tag along from behind, quietly studying the various sceneries we were passing. They arrive at the station and take a seat on a bench nearby.

"Ah, I guess we'll be splitting here," Miku says with a nervous laugh. "I have somewhere to attend, sorry, so I won't be walking home with you." Len nods slowly, smiling at her. "My train is about to arrive." She gestures to the train that was pulling in and stands up, turning to Len.

Len stands up as well and a red hue creeps across his face. "U-um, thank you for the date." He mutters, averting his gaze and brushing his fringe aside. Suddenly, he puts one hand on Miku's shoulder and leans in, kissing her gently on the cheek.

Miku's face bursts into flames. "_U-uwoh_!" She squeaks, "I-it's n-no p-p-problem… _Thankyoualsoforthedate! Itwaslovely! Thankyou!_" She speaks the last part quickly, bowing several times. "I-I'll see you at school!" She waves and turns away, disappearing off into the crowd before Len could even say the same.

Len stares at the spot where she once stood for a while, still blushing. He chews his bottom lip and sits back down. I could feel myself 'blushing' just watching them… it was so cute… but… what is that tight feeling in my chest? It feels strange…

Forgetting my chest's tightness, I hop over and sit beside Len. Len looks up at me and there are tears in his eyes. What? Why is he crying? Shouldn't he be happy?

"M-Miku-chan didn't like that at all, did she…?" He whispers, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. "She went all strange." He hunches over, frowning. Huh? Miku went all strange because she was surprised and happy. Didn't Len see the smile on her face as she turned away?

"What are you saying?" I yell, taking him by surprise. Len looks at me strangely. "She was super happy! The reason she went all weird is because she was surprised, embarrassed, happy and excited all at the same time… Wouldn't you feel the same if the person you like kisses you on the cheek suddenly?" I clutch the front of my shirt, smiling unconsciously. "Her face was red and she was beaming, you know? I bet she's on the train right now screaming from happiness!"

"R-really?" Len stammers with a bemused look on his face. "So she liked it?" I nod vigorously, grinning.

"Yes, really!" I exclaim. "Miku loved it! In fact, when you see her on her birthday, you should kiss her on the lips passionately~ it would be so romantic…" I trail off, imagining their confessions to each other and Miku's happiness. But my heart aches for some strange reason, I don't get it.

"I-I'll see," Len mumbles, blushing. He gets up and strides into the crowd to board his train. I follow after him, into the cramped train carriage for the ride back to Len's house.

* * *

"School tomorrow," Len groans unhappily, perching on the edge of his bed. "How annoying," He rakes his slender fingers through his fringe and frowns at me, where I sat on the floor by the wall with my legs crossed.

"But you'll get to see Miku again. And that means only four more days until her birthday~" I beam at him, to try and lighten his mood. He gazes back at me with a strange expression, his arms crossed over his chest and his cerulean eyes full of concern.

"Rin-chan, you've been acting a little bit strange today. Is something wrong?" He asks. I frown.

"What do you mean?" I ask back, raising my eyebrow.

"You seem to be very distant and – ah! Where did you go off to when Miku-chan and I were in the cinema?" Oh… Have I been worrying too much…?

"I went and saw my friends and…" I trail off, not wanting to say anymore. It was frightening and I was confused. I don't want to talk about what happened earlier today, so I change the subject. "H-hey, Len, did you know we used to go to the same elementary school – with Miku?"

Len blinks, confused at the sudden topic amendment. "Um, not… really…" A blank look crosses his face. "Wait…" He holds up one hand in a 'stay still' motion, stands up and walks over to his cupboard, pulling open the stiff door and taking out a cardboard shoebox. He places it in front of me and pulls out some pictures of him in elementary school with other students.

"This is you, right?" He asks me, pointing at a small girl with short blonde hair and a wide smile painted onto her face, standing out in front of a school with a bunch of other students. It _was _me. I nod and notice Len standing directly beside me in the image. "I didn't know who you were for a second…" He laughs nervously.

"It's okay, nobody really knew me," I say with a grin. Len frowns. "I mean, I wasn't really super popular and I was quiet – err, sometimes." I add quickly, waving my arms around frantically. Len nods slowly.

"Hmm, I think maybe we used to hang out a bit… now that you think of it…" He trails off in thought, stroking his chin. "Mm… I hated elementary school. It was horrible." He visibly shudders. Len packs up the cardboard box and places it aside before turning away, pulling back his bedcovers and climbing into his bed.

"You used to get bullied," I state the obvious with a blank face. "I remember that." Len looks peculiarly at me with his cobalt gaze, an unhappy smile tugging at his lips… as if he remembers something…

"Yeah," He says, laying down and pulling his sheets over him. He yawns and closes his eyes, sighing as he grows weary. "Good night, Rin-chan." He mumbles after a bit of silence.

"Good night," I reply softly, before looking up and out the window at the sky. You couldn't see stars at all, because of the city lights and air pollution. A heavy feeling fills my chest. I can't explain these strange feelings… ghosts aren't meant to have feelings, or show them anyway, right?

Am I really a ghost? This question is driving me crazy. Ghosts don't sleep, don't feel pain and don't feel warm when touched by living beings – plus, their limbs don't start disappearing gradually for no reason. My head spins at this evidence and I lean my head back, closing my eyes.

What am I and who am I in this world? Why am I dead? I still haven't found that out yet. What were my friend's talking about today? The words _never wake up_ echo in my mind and I'm tempted to groan in frustration.

And now… when I think about Miku and Len being happy together… why is there a tight feeling in my chest? Why does it hurt? Are ghosts supposed to feel this? Why can't I…?

I can feel a tear sliding down my cheeks – but it isn't a wet sensation; it's tingly as if my cheeks were numb. When I go to put my hand up to my face, there's nothing there to wipe off. Strange… Is that how ghosts cry…?

I…

Like a veil has been lifted from my eyes, I realise something important. I can never be happy, even if Miku gets with Len, even if they get married and live happily ever after… I can never be happy even if everyone is laughing…

I curl up into a ball and sob quietly. I hate myself. I hate this. I'm _dead_. There's nothing I can be happy about if I'm dead, right…? So why lie about my happiness if it's not true? I'm scared. I convinced myself that I'd be happy if everyone else is happy. That's not it… my happiness is…

_What is my happiness?_

The answer is right under my nose.

* * *

_Hmm... some more strange things happening D: And a hint to how Rin 'died'? (Nuu, Rin, don't cry!)_

_Wow, that was a shorter chapter than usual. Don't worry though, the next chapter is going to be long. And it has _a lot _happening in it. (So it'll make up for this one!)_

_**Review replies:**_

_Lynn 'Ne'-chan - Haha, yes X'D Hopefully, the next chapter shall clear it up a bit. (Or the chapter after, even) (Or the chapter after that... it's like... more and more gets revealed?) Thank you for the review!_

_XxRinnyxX - Yay! Well, I hoped you like this update~ Thanks for the review :D_

_Orangepokadot - Haha, I'm glad you like it! (Neither am I, so I guaranteed that there will be RinxLen in the future - most definitely^^) Thanks for the review!_

_Demolition Panda - I see, maybe it's because it shows emotion or something? -I don't know- That shall be revealed soon~ I agree with that part... I wish people wouldn't jump to conclusions so much though X'D Haha, then I'll say a random science fact at the bottom! -shot-_

_Random science fact: Do you know that travelling faster than the speed of light will take you back in time, crush you to death (due to gravity / G-force) and create an atom bomb because e=mc2? -brick brick brick-_

_Thanks guys for the support! Please review and tell me what you think! See you next chapter~_


	4. Chapter 4

_Ah, so much positive feedback! Thank you guys for the support -loves you- :D_

_I had to pop this one out quickly because I wanted to finish it and my friend was begging to see the next chapter. "PLEASE SHOW ME THE NEXT CHAPTER!" She screamed dramatically to me at school x'D -shot- She kept stealing my laptop although it was still a WIP._

_So here it is! The long and boring chapter everyone's been waiting for! (But it's not the last chapter... there are still more to go!)_

* * *

**Chapter Four**

My eyes open to the familiar scenery of Len's average bedroom, with light spilling through the plain white curtains and Len calmly making his bed while humming under his breath. He looks so calm and content; I can't help but smile at him.

"Morning, Len-kun," I greet cheerfully after a few minutes of watching him prepare for school. He looks back at me and grins, brushing his fringe gently with his hand while straightening his pillow with the other.

"Good morning, Rin-chan," He replies in a generally happy tone, as he moves over to his window and pulls open the blinds. "Was your sleep alright?" He asks as he walks past me, towards his cupboard to pull out a freshly-ironed uniform that his Mum placed in there yesterday afternoon.

"Hmm, I don't feel any more alive." I reply while standing up and stretching. "I mean, for a dead person and all."

Len chuckles from behind his hand. "There, there," He chimes just as he is about to exit his bedroom. He stops at the door and looks at me. "Thou shall be reborn." He adds in a deep, intelligent-like voice that mocks the voice-overs you hear on documentaries.

I laugh as he leaves the room. I turn to the wall, sigh and rest my head against it. The answer is right under my nose. It always has been. Perhaps since elementary school – I can't deny it. Maybe I had a bit of a crush on Len… or _have_, if it's still possible for a ghost to love somebody.

It made me hunch over and frown. I'm such a horrible person. I have such selfish feelings. Yes, I want to see Miku happy, Len happy… to see them together even… but that's because I'm a supportive friend, right? They're meant to be; obviously I'm not.

Even so, it makes me sad. "Why am I so… stupid…?" I ask myself under my breath. That heavy feeling in my chest wasn't just anything; it was my feelings from when I was alive. The reason I stormed up to those bullies all those years ago and defended Len was because I liked him.

When we moved on from elementary school and into different middle schools, I had to admit I was jealous of Miku being in the same school as him. I tried to forget my childhood crush and left it behind, forgetting Len altogether…

It was a stupid reason to do it. Maybe if I had tried hard enough and didn't stay out of the way of Miku and Len's admiration for each other I might have gotten closer to Len than Miku. Slowly, I just became the girl no one remembered… not even Len, the person who I had stuck up for against those bullies.

Len enters his bedroom again and takes me by surprise. I rip my head away from the wall and glance at him. He peers at me with a confused expression. "Ah, Rin-chan, is everything okay? Your eyes are wide and you look a bit worried." He asks gently.

"Everything's fine," I say a bit too quickly, waving my hand up and down. "Really," I add when he gave a look of disbelief.

"Uh, okay… but if anything's bothering you I'm here to talk to you about it. That's what friends are for, right?" He states, straightening his school uniform tie. I nod slowly, feeling that strange sensation in my chest when I look at him. Len is attractive… honestly, too attractive for any random, plain, dead girl like me… "…Rin-chan? Are you sure you don't want to talk about anything? You still look anxious. I'm going to have breakfast now, by the way." And he goes for cute, pretty girls like Miku. Not dorky, clumsy girls like Kagamine Rin.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, sorry. I'm… just… overthinking a bit too much." I mumble as I follow him out of his room and into the hallway. He enters the kitchen and gets some bread from the freezer, which he sticks into the toaster.

"If you insist," He sighs as he waits for the bread to toast. It pops up a few minutes later, breaking the silence and making both Len and I jump in surprise. He pulls the toast out and chops up some banana, which then he puts on top of the toast.

We stand in muteness as he munches on his breakfast, his gaze kept on the window and my gaze kept on the clock. Len leaves to clean his teeth and pack his bag, before returning about ten minutes later and retrieving his lunch from the refrigerator.

Soon, he kisses his mother goodbye and we are walking down the familiar pathway to his school. Len and I haven't spoken much, until he turns to me and sighs. "Really, Rin-chan, something must be bugging you because you aren't your cheery self. Honestly, you can talk to me about _anything_." He tells me while looking directly into my eyes.

Something flutters in my chest and I avert my gaze, smiling uncomfortably. "I'd really rather not talk about it. I'm honestly okay, I mean, once you and Miku get together I'll be happy and all. Then I can pass on… or re-live… or whatever…" I mutter without much enthusiasm.

Len sags, the corners of his mouth turning down. "Really?" He asks with a sarcastic tone, "You sound so enthused for us being together. Are you just being impatient or are you in a general bad mood?" He looks away and puts both hands behind his head, leaning back.

I scowl. "Is it really any of your business? I'm having a bad day." I exhale loudly and close my eyes. "I can wait… really… you don't need to rush that relationship of yours. After all, slow wins the race."

Len snorts and turns back to me. "Ghosts have bad days too? That's something we have in common." Len sees my irritated reaction and reaches over, to attempt to poke my cheek with his finger. "Ah, Rin-chan, I'm only stirring you. Just cheer up a bit, okay? It's worrying me."

I'm worrying him? I look up at Len who is gazing at me with a soft smile on his lips. That fluttering sensations happens in my chest again and I suddenly grab the front of my shirt to try and make it go away. "Argh, t-there's no need to worry," I say nervously as I look away again, at the ground, "Really, I'm just a ghost after all."

"Not just _any _ghost," Len points out, holding up one finger in the air. "You're a super, duper emotional, disappearing and sleeping ghost. One in a billion, I can tell you." He grins as we approach the school.

"Don't remind me," I murmur, pouting as we immerse into the crazy crowd of school kids. He parts as usual to chat with his friends and I weave my way up to the familiar classroom to see Miku. She's seated at the back corner where she always sits, chatting to a classmate.

"Good morning, Miku-chan," I greet her as I do, though I expect no reply. I follow her from class to class, watching as she works on difficult Mathematics problems and attempts to translate a paragraph to English. Ever since she's been hanging out with Len, she's been able to focus on her schoolwork much easier.

Finally, the bell sounds lunchbreak and Miku wanders down to her typical spot under the cherry blossom trees at the edge of the oval. She sighs as she sits down on the seat and I sit beside her, watching her eat.

"It's a brilliant day today, isn't it?" I ask her. No reply. "I hope the weather's like this on your birthday." I smile at her as she munches on her bento, deep in thought. I can hear someone approaching and when I turn my head, it's just Len with a relaxed grin on his face.

"Hello, Miku-chan," He greets as he sits beside her. Miku nods a greeting back at Len and smiles into her dumpling. Len winks at me over Miku's shoulder. Huh? "It's a brilliant day today, isn't it? I hope the weather's like this on your birthday." He repeats what I had said earlier.

Oh! So he must have heard me talking to her before, so he said my words for me… I get that fluttery feeling in my chest, but I try to ignore it.

"A-ah, yes, I hope so too." She squeaks as a pink hue fills her cheeks and she grins at him. "T-thank you," She adds rather quietly, under her breath. Len's presence is making me jumpy and I can't think really straight. Let alone, I have this horrible guilty feeling inside…

To try and put off the feelings I was feeling, I move to the ground underneath the cherry blossom and sit down on the grass with a sigh. Something hits me… I _sigh_ a lot, don't I? Ghosts aren't meant to sigh, considering they don't breathe, right?

I'm beginning to worry again, so I try to focus on Miku and Len's conversation. My head seems fuzzy today, I feel off and very heavy. That could explain my mood, or these strange feelings… But it still doesn't make sense…

"So are you doing anything on your birthday?" Len asks before taking a bite of his bento. Miku sighs and shrugs, fiddling with her long, teal hair and gazing off over at the opposite side of the oval in a thoughtful way.

"Hmm, my parents and I planned on going out for dinner that night. Then my friends were going to go to karaoke on Saturday with me just to celebrate a bit." She explains, turning her gaze to Len. They seem to have this strange connection, where they stare into each other's eyes for a bit before Len looks away quickly and nods with a grin.

"I see, I see," He says, brushing his fringe to the side. "I guess you'll have fun, right?"

Miku nods, her turquoise eyes twinkling. "I hope so… although…" She trails off, a sad look flashing across her face. "Never mind," She mumbles quickly. I frown and rub my head, feeling that guilty emotion beginning to consume me.

Why did I have to die? Everybody's so sad… it's my entire fault… I can't do anything about it.

* * *

The day passes by eventually, until Len and Miku are walking home together in silence, just clearly enjoying each other's company. It's so cute, despite the fact that my selfish feelings are attempting to argue with me.

"Len-kun," Miku mumbles, closing her eyes. She sounds sad. Len looks at her with concern, putting a hand on her arm to comfort her. She was about to say something, but hesitates, pressing her lips together.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asks, frowning when he sees her strange behaviour. Len is so kind and considerate. _I'm so jealous… of Miku_, I think with a frown as I watch them. To take back that thought I hit my cheeks with my non-visible hands, slapping some sense into me. _It'll only be a few more days, and then I can pass on! Don't change your ambitions now, when you're so close to the goal… _I tell myself angrily.

"Well, I'm feeling okay… it's just… it's hard to feel okay when someone you love might die soon…" Miku smiles sadly, before quickly rubbing her forehead and shaking her head back and forth. "I-I… it's just, I mean- I don't want to pressure you, whatsoever! It's just bothering me, okay? S-sorry!" She blurts out quickly, her cheeks burning. Len is taken aback, before grabbing her shoulders and calming her down.

"It is fine," Len proclaims with a serious voice, staring directly into her eyes with his cerulean gaze. A sharp pang of jealousy erupts from inside and I look away quickly, not wanting to see them kiss or anything. "I don't feel pressured or anything. Sometimes telling people can make you feel better." I can hear Len murmur to her in a gentle, soothing tone.

Suddenly, I can hear Miku sobbing. I look back to see Miku crying into her hands and Len holdings her close to him. It hurts… it hurts… but Miku is hurting too… and it breaks me. Soon, I can feel those ghostly tears running down my cheeks in sympathy and my own hurt.

Len doesn't notice me crying. Instead, he's looking confused and sad by himself, focusing on how close they were. After a while, Miku pulls away and wipes her face free of tears. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained pink. She sniffs and tries her best to smile at Len.

"Thank you, Len-kun," She bows, before standing on her tip-toes and pecking Len on the cheek. "I'll see you at school tomorrow," She says gently, before turning down her street and leaving Len standing there alone, dumb-founded.

He reaches up and touches his red cheek with his fingers, his eyes wide. Len looks up at me, to see that I'm crying too. "W-what-" He stammers, frowning, "Y-you too? Crying?" He asks as he walks over to me slowly. He peers at me and I try to wipe the tears away, although they weren't wet.

"It's nothing," I say quickly, turning away. It hurts. "Seeing Miku cry is just hard to see, o-okay?" I part-lie, turning back to him. Len is still frowning, his azure gaze searching me. Just like that, he reaches out and touches the top of my head to pat it gently.

"Ghosts don't cry," He murmurs, drawing his hand back all too quickly and turning away, starting to walk off. The top of my head is tingling from where he touched it. My insides turn warm and that fluttering sensation comes back, making me feel jumpy. I try to keep up with him.

"What _do_ I do that ghosts don't do?" I ask, struggling to keep up with his pace. Len doesn't reply as he seems to be in deep thought. "Len-kun?" I call. He breathes out a loud sigh, his walking pace slowing.

"I don't get it." He mutters, putting his hand over his mouth. "Did you hear what she said earlier?" He asks me, turning to face me. _Huh? _I think, _that's right, I was too busy worrying about my feelings to hear what she was saying…_

I give Len a blank look. "Please elaborate?" I ask back, scratching the back my head nervously.

"She said, '_It's hard to feel okay when someone you love might die soon…'_" He quotes, narrowing his eyes at me. "I don't get it… aren't you supposed to be _dead_?" A cold feeling grows inside. _Never wake up…_ It echoes inside my mind. I paste a pretend confused look on my face.

"T-that doesn't mean she was talking about me," I mutter, shaking my head slowly. "She has older relatives that could be sick, you know. If I'm not dead, then why would I be standing here, as a ghost?" I'm trying to convince Len, but yet, let alone myself. It can't be… I can't be still alive…

Right? This hopefulness is just stupid. I'm dead, I'm _dead_. I'm absolutely freaking dead.

Len frowns, looking away again. "I guess so… but…" He sighs, raking his fingers through his fringe. "Yeah… I don't really know. Maybe it is just a relative or someone else she knows." Len mutters, still sounding unsure.

"Yeah, maybe that's the person she's been visiting lately…" I think aloud. Len looks at me strangely.

"She's been visiting someone?" He asks, growing suspicious. I fidget, averting my gaze to the footpath.

"Ah, yeah… I think so… my friends were talking about it yesterday…" I mutter, feeling his eyes burning into the back of my head. "I could've heard it wrong though… But it explains why she's been so busy after school." I add.

"That makes sense." Len mutters. We continue to walk in silence back to his house. My thoughts are whirring after that conversation. Maybe I should follow her one day after school just to see who she's visiting exactly, to answer our questions, of course.

Len leaves me in his room while he goes to eat dinner, so I sit against the wall and close my eyes. If it's true that Miku has a relative in hospital, then it must be _really _hard for her at the moment. Maybe she's not so sad at my death after all? Maybe she's actually sadder about that relative dying?

I exhale in frustration. Everything is just so confusing, so hard… I don't understand any of this. If I'm really not dead (in spite of everything), if somehow, my soul's just roaming Earth's surface while my body is in a sleeping state – or something… it just doesn't make sense…

But I'm different from a ghost. I _must _be. I can tell. I'm something half-way between a spirit and a living. Something like that, anyway…

Then how did I get in this state? Will I ever get out of it? Will I stay like this forever, not knowing whether I'm dead or alive? Will I never pass-over or never wake up? It hurts thinking about this… deep inside; I just wish I could be alive. I'm not ready to die.

I still have many things to do. Such as grow up; graduate from school and go to university. I want to fall in love, get married and have children. Even experiencing my first kiss… or just being around Len alive for a little longer…

Why am I so, so selfish? Why am I just plain stupid? I denied my feelings for Len for years, because I could see that he clearly liked Miku and Miku was taking a liking for him. I _forgot _him when I went to middle-school, because I supposedly _got over _him – but I hadn't.

I'm really in love with the wrong person here. I'm supposed to be _supporting _my friend's crush and my stupid feelings are getting in the way. The truth is… not only do I want to see Miku happy, but seeing Len happy is good as well… although _it hurts so badly_.

I love Len. And I hate it. These feelings are terrible. Love is terrible. I'm hoping deep inside he would like me back. No, he wouldn't, _I'm not alive_. He likes Miku. I could never go against Miku. I'm plain, old, ugly, cowardly Rin – the quiet girl who is forgotten by everyone, even the person she always stuck-up for against bullies in elementary school.

Len comes back from dinner and does his homework for a while, so I just watch silently from the corner. We haven't talked at all since this afternoon, but it is okay, I don't want to talk. I just want to gaze at his facial features as he changes his expression depending on whether he gets an easy and a difficult question – it's cute.

I fall asleep again, not like a normal ghost. It's a dreamless sleep, as they have been lately. I don't want them to be full of dreams – I'm terrified of them ever since I had that nightmare a few days ago. I wake up in the morning, just before Len wakes up.

I study his sleeping face. He looks angelic; the way his skin glowed with life and his golden hair fell across his forehead neatly, framing his perfect features. The fluttering sensation eats up my insides again, but I don't try to ignore it. I let it consume me until he opens his cerulean eyes and almost kills me.

"M-morning, Len-kun," I stammer, caught off-guard. Len sits up; rubbing his eyes sleepily and nodding groggily back at me in response. I feel like a protagonist from one of those gooey high-school romance manga's where the main character seems to always pertain a crush on the untouchable popular student.

"Good morning, Rin-chan," He replies calmly, not with the stuttering words of affection that he usually greets Miku with. I paste the fake smile on my face as he stands up, stretching and scratching his stomach with one hand.

"Did you have a nice sleep?" I ask gently, watching him as he follows his usual routine. He looks at me and flashes that heart-melting smile. I can see why Miku likes him so much – compassionate and attractive, a guy nearly every girl would want.

"Yeah, I guess it was okay. Did you?" Len asks back as he makes his bed swiftly. I watch him as he moves around the room, the same way he does the day before and the day before that. I've never seen him break his morning routine.

"I don't feel any different," I reply with a frown and he chuckles. With that, he turns to me and looks me up and down, as if looking for a difference on me. Len sighs and shakes his head, turning back to what he was doing. I don't look any different… as usual…

"Actually," Len pauses and turns back to me. He studies me with a grimace. "I know you probably wouldn't want to hear this, but you literally have _no _arms _or _legs." To confirm this, I look down and see that my body fades off at my waist and shoulders. Great; just what a love-sick, ghost-thing needs.

"Oh," is all I can muster up to say. Len shoots me a sympathetic look and turns back to what he was doing.

* * *

Tuesday went too fast. Before I know it, it's the next day.

I wake up on the Wednesday with a bad feeling at the back of my mind that I couldn't put my finger on (literally, I have no fingers… okay, enough jokes about this). The start of the day goes normally, as Len wakes up in a happy mood – happier than mine, anyway.

"Morning, Rin-chan," Len greets me when I wake up. To my surprise, he was already dressed in his school uniform. He sees my confused expression and laughs, patting my head as he walks past. "You overslept this time." He tells me with a casual smile.

"Oh, okay," I say softly, enjoying the strange tingling sensation that was left after Len pat my head. "Good morning," I add quickly, standing up and stretching. Thankfully, I haven't disappeared any further today.

"Did you dream this time?" He asks me as we step outside, into the fresh, morning air. I shake my head, not remembering having a dream at all. Len sighs, gazing at me with his beautiful, cerulean eyes. "Ah, how boring for you," He murmurs.

I smile and roll my eyes. "Not really boring, I don't care." I explain carelessly, waving my (invisible) hand in an _'I really don't' _gesture. Len grins back at me, making my insides flutter and grow warm again. These feelings aren't all that strange to me now; I've grown accustomed to them.

We arrive at the school and the day progresses slowly, until finally, its lunchbreak. As usual, Miku and Len are under the cherry blossoms at the end of the oval, talking. Even though it hurts to see them so close, I've just learnt to try my hardest and ignore it… for now, at least.

"Two days until your birthday, right?" Len asks Miku, gazing at her with affection. He looks so happy whenever he's with her. Miku takes a sip from her popper and nods, her teal hair bouncing. Today, instead of wearing twin-tails as she usually does, she's got twin-buns on the side of her head.

It sort of looks like she's wearing two donuts – in my opinion anyway, but it's still cute, because it's Miku. "Well, technically one day~!" Miku sings, clasping her hands in front of her chest. Her turquoise eyes twinkled in excitement. "I'll be 15 then!"

Len laughs, scratching the back of his head and blushing. "Ah, I'll still be 14," He sighs. Miku grins at him, ruffling his hair.

"Oh, but you _will_ be turning 15, right?" She asks rather bluntly with her eyes wide, so it comes across sounding quite stupid. A blank look crosses Len's face and he raises an eyebrow. He doesn't really get Miku's sense of humour…

"Why wouldn't I?" He asks in confusion and worry. I laugh from behind my hand and shake my head. Miku finds his reaction quite funny and bursts into fits of giggles, clutching her stomach.

"Len-kun! It was only a joke," She squeaks, patting his back, "of course you'll turn 15! I was just being silly. It'd make no sense if you weren't turning 15 and you were in this grade!" She points out. Len smiles unsurely, not getting it at all. Sometimes… he can be a bit slow…

Miku takes notice of this. "Don't worry about it!" She adds, waving her hand back and forth. "It's December 27th, right?" The way she says those words so smoothly with a smile surprises me.

Len nods, noticing how she said his (and my) birthdate so easily without a hesitation or a crack in her voice. "Yeah, it is," He smiles back at her, "I'm surprised you remembered." He adds nervously, in a lower tone.

Miku's expression falters. "Oh, yes, you told me, right?" She asks, looking nervous. "It's the same date as my best friend's birthday. She'd probably laugh and say, 'He's my twin!' or something like that." Her smile turns sad and she looks down at her bento.

Len doesn't question her about the unusual tense she used in that sentence. Instead, he changes the topic. "Oh, um, do you want to walk home with me after school today?" He asks quickly, nervously averting his gaze to the side.

"Ah… no…" Miku replies gently, looking up and smiling apologetically, "I have to visit someone today. Sorry." _That's it, _I think;_ I need to follow her after school to see who she's visiting_. Len nods and shrugs, smiling back at her.

"It's fine," Len replies casually, "I understand."

I don't tell Len that I'm going to follow Miku after school. I don't want to. Instead, I just tell him that I'm going to see how my friends are doing. I don't know why I don't want to tell Len, but something tells me to put it off for now.

This takes me to following Miku like a shadow as she walks to the train station in silence, surveying the scenery around her. The day is bright and sunny, totally not matching my dreading mood.

She takes the train to the hospital as I expected. Miku stands in silence in the almost-empty train, her face void of expression. The train soon stops and she gets off, keeping her face blank and her eyes vacant. She enters through the hospital entrance – through the sliding doors and checks into the hospital at the counter to show she is visiting a patient.

Miku steps into the elevator, waddling to the corner and standing very still, staring off into space. It's only 30 seconds later; the elevator reaches its destination and stops with its accompanying _ding_ that seems all too cheerful for the melancholic atmosphere.

Once the elevator doors slide open with a groan, she strides out into the hallway with a sigh, turning right and passing the sign that stated, 'Intensive Care Unit'. I can feel that bad feeling returning, along with chills running up and down my body.

Miku halts her journey down the almost-endless corridor at a plain, white door that's positioned half-way between the end and the middle of the hallway. When she turns, I see her face properly for the first time since we left the elevator. She looks so tired and sad. Slowly and as quietly as possible, she turns the door knob. Miku hesitates just before she enters and then steps into the room.

I slip in quickly after Miku into the off-white room that seems cold and stale. Inside is a small, velvet couch with a pot plant placed beside it, a window, the usual life-support machines and a bed with a girl on it. Miku puts her bag down beside the couch and walks over to the girl.

I follow around carefully to get a better view of the unmoving body. The florescent lights are getting overwhelming, making my head feel hazy. The atmosphere of the room makes me feel almost sick. It doesn't make me feel any better when I see the girl properly.

She's pale and sickly-looking, dressed in the white hospital gown with white sheets draped over her body. An oxygen mask is pulled to her face and she's breathing very faintly, the beeping of a machine close by going in unison with it. I notice how thin she is, how weak she looks. I guess she is in a coma. Her face is strikingly familiar, but I can't put my finger on her identity.

Miku holds the girl's hand gently with her left hand and begins to stroke her fingers through the girl's limp, blonde hair with her right. She's muttering things to her under her breath, so quietly I can't hear. I walk closer so I'm standing directly over the girl.

All at once, I realise who the girl is and overhear what Miku is whispering.

"Please wake up, Rin-chan."

* * *

"Good morning, Rin-chan," Len greets me on Friday morning with a cheerful smile. I had already been up for three hours, thinking. Lately, I haven't been able to 'sleep' properly. I can't stop thinking. Really, my mind is becoming an endless maze of thoughts. Ever since Wednesday, things have been hazy.

When I don't reply, Len walks over and clicks in front of my face to grab my attention. My eyes flicker up to his face, taking in his breathtaking features. "G-good morning," I stammer, slowly standing up. I forget to smile. In fact, I should have been the one to greet him first.

Len picks up on this easily and frowns, gazing at me with concern. "Rin-chan, are you okay?" He asks, looking deep into my eyes with his cerulean ones. I hadn't told Len about Wednesday afternoon. So I pretend to be fine by pasting a fake smile upon my lips and nodding.

"Yes," I lie, turning away to look out the window. Walking below on the footpath are two children and their mother, obviously heading off to school. The sun is already blazing brightly, although it's still quite early in the morning. Everything outside the window seemed too _luminescent_, it was almost overwhelming.

"Hmm, are you sure?" Len pushes as I turn back to him slowly. I nod, keeping my face as straight as possible. "You aren't – ever since yesterday, you have been quiet and distant." He stares at me, long and hard, before sighing.

"I am really fine," I insist, before closing my eyes. I wish he would stop asking so many questions. I don't want to think about it. It's all too overwhelming. Being here, standing in Len's bedroom was overwhelming. _Just disappear already_, I tell myself over and over again.

"If you say so," He mutters, not sounding the least bit convinced. I sigh at his tenacity and watch as he leaves the room to eat breakfast. I go back to thinking as usual.

The day progresses at a sluggish pace, just as Thursday did. Lunchbreak came at school, where Len directly asks Miku to meet her at the end of the oval after school. I guess this is it. He's going to confess to her this afternoon.

I stay back under the cherry blossoms and think. Part of me is jumping for joy for Len and Miku, the other part is sore and cold, feeling miserable and empty. I feel so indecisive. Maybe that explains why I'm crying and smiling at the same time.

I watch the world go by for what seems like eternity, until finally, the faint _dong_ of the school-bell sounds and echoes throughout the silent buildings that are full of working and studious students. Soon, they are spilling out like ants from an over-populated colony, splitting up into their friendship groups and departing for home.

In amongst the schoolkids, I spot the teal-hair, bouncing around as Miku makes her way carefully to the place Len directed her to go. She stands underneath the cherry blossoms, gazing back at the other students and the school while biting nervously on her bottom lip.

Len comes along, panting and red-faced. "I'm so sorry I made you wait," He apologises when he finally reaches Miku's side. Miku beams, her turquoise eyes sparkling like usual. Len blushes and looks away, hesitating before his speech.

"It is fine, Len-kun. What did you want to talk about?" She asks, fiddling with a strap on her bag. It's the same one I gave her for her tenth birthday – a Welsh onion charm. Len laughs nervously and scratches the back of his head, before revealing Miku's birthday present from his bag.

"U-um, happy birthday, Miku-chan!" He blurts out as he shoves it into her arms. Miku looks surprised, a red blush covering her cheeks.

"_M-mou!_" She squeaks as she takes it, her hands shaking in excitement. "T-thank you, Len-kun!" Miku opens the box and squeals in joy when she sees the present – the Farfetch'd plush and the pig keychain. "Oh my! They're so cute!" She cries, hugging them to her chest.

"S-s-so you like them?" Len stammers. Miku looks up at him with her large turquoise eyes and smiles broadly, before quickly giving him a tight hug.

"Yes! Of course! They're lovely!" She exclaims as they pulled away. Len looks as if he's about to faint – his face is so red. I wipe away the ghost-tears and try to smile at this, considering Miku is so happy about it. The two are shrouded in an awkward silence as they just stand there, looking around nervously. _Is that it? _I think with a frown, _getting me depressed all for nothing?_

"_A-a-a-ano…_" Miku stutters, her cheeks beetroot red. "W-well t-than-"

Len cuts Miku off when he grabs her by the face with both hands gently and pulls his face close to hers. Suddenly, they're kissing each other. Miku didn't pull away. I guess that means that the feelings are really neutral, right?

Does this mean I can't stick around anymore? Even though it hurts, I'm going to miss this. "Y'know," Len mutters once they pull away, "I really like you." His face is still red and he looks incredibly nervous. He still has Miku's face in between his hands and they're gazing at each other directly into the eyes.

Miku squeaks, an overly-happy smile falling across her lips. "I-I-I-" She stutters like a stuck record-player. "I l-like you too! Really like you!" She blurts out, pulling him into a long romantic hug. And that's it. Just like that, I disappear into the cherry blossoms surrounding the young couple.

* * *

It's a typical Saturday afternoon.

Luka, Miku, Meiko, Iroha and I sit sophisticatedly in a café in Harajuku. Luka's talking about the love of her live, Gakupo, and how much she loves his 'long, luscious, purple hair'. Meiko is making gagging noises and scowling, while Miku, Iroha and I are deciding what to order for lunch.

"And Gakupo-kun is just so manly…" Luka sighs dreamily, fiddling with her long, pink hair. Meiko makes a fart noise with her mouth and pulls a sick face. "I love the way his dark indigo eyes sparkle mischievously when he sweeps me into his arms and goes to make o-"

"Okay, okay Luka-chan, we get you are in total love with that geek. Hurry up and decide what to order because the waitress is waiting." I tell her, shaking my head and smiling, before gesturing over to the quiet waitress standing in the corner watching us. I want to feel love like that… although Mum says I'm really too young to feel 'real love' – I'm 14. Really, Mum, _really_. I'm sure people in other countries have married off their daughters at the age of 12.

"How can I decide what to order when you guys are hogging the menu?" She points out and Meiko agrees. I roll my eyes and point at the menu that's set out above the counter, on the roof. They follow my finger's direction with frowns.

"But we can't see that from here." Meiko argues.

"Then get glasses." I retort with a grin. Miku sighs and hands her menu over to the two older girls, puffing out her cheeks in annoyance.

"Sometimes I wonder how you guys are in high-school." She proclaims calmly as Meiko takes the menu and shoots a glare at us. I put down my menu, deciding to have a sandwich and a juice. I wasn't a very exciting person. Sandwich and juice? Let's chuck a party.

"Oh yeah," Meiko says after a while of silence between the five of us. "Karaoke tomorrow, alright?" She plans without our own input – not that we care, though, since we always want to go to karaoke. Unfortunately, I can't go tomorrow, which sucks a bunch.

"Ah," I sigh, smiling apologetically at my friends, "can't go. Parents are taking me to a friend's party. I really can't get out of it, this time." The group groans in harmony, shaking their heads at me and tutting.

"It won't be the same without Rin-chan!" Iroha cries, grabbing my hand and gazing up at me with her puppy eyes. I pull a face and laugh, shrugging.

"You guys will live." I chuckle, patting Iroha's head happily. Iroha puffs out her cheeks, shaking my hand off the top of her head. They all look at me with their mock-betrayal stares, a typical expression using the death-glare and a pout with the bottom lip. "Oh, _guys_, you all know that I don't light up a room when I step into it."

"That's a lie, Rin-chan!" Miku cries, pulling me into an air-tight hug. "We all love you very much and when we see you, you light up the world like an ANGEL! We can't bear not to hear your cute little voice when you step up onto the stage and begin to sing _World is Mine_ while wiggling those cute little hips! But we understand you can't make it…" Meiko and Luka are snickering at us from behind their hands.

"Please, you two, get a room! Anyway, Rin-tan, we totally agree with Miku-chan over here… You better be coming to the next karaoke!" Meiko yells, startling some customers nearby. She jabs a finger at me and glares. "OR ELSE I'LL EAT YOU! LIKE A CANNIBAL!" The waitress comes over and tells us to quieten down, before taking our orders.

_Of course I'll be coming to the next karaoke_, I think as I say my goodbyes to my friends when we depart at the train station later that day, _nothing will happen to me between now and then – right?_

But that was just a wish. Fate still chose me.

* * *

_In case you didn't know, the above was a flashback._

_So, the truth it out! Rin's in a coma like everyone already had figured out... hahah I'm not good at making plots unexpected -sweats-_

_And don't worry guys, this isn't the end for Rin... well not yet, anyway~ Oh ho ho~_

_Nooooow, **review reply time!**_

_Tsuki-chan - Haha thank you for the support! I hope you liked this update! And are your predictions right so far?_

_Shriekmon - Yep D: Thanks for the review!_

_RinLenLOVE4427 - Yes, yes she is~~ Her disappearing shall be explained soooooooon! Along with a few other things, maybe :D Thanks for the review!_

_Lynn 'Ne'-chan - You knew it! XD I know right, Rin's being all depressed and stuff and I just want to give her a hug! -runs after Rin- 'COME BACK RINNNN, I LOVE YOU, NOOOOOOOOO!' -brick- Hm hm, who was singing is a secret but it shall be revealed soon, don't worry! Haha, yeah, sorry I keep making her cry D: -hides- Thank you!_

_Sweet Vocals - Thank you for the review! I hope you enjoyed this update!_

_Splendence - Yay~ I'm glad you're falling in love with the story ^u^~ Haha, confused Rin is confused. Ghost or not, shall be revealed soon (I should really stop saying this... ahahahaha). Thank you so much for the kind review!_

_Saph - Yeah! And her nightmare, it should be explained a bit in the future, hopefully (if I don't forget, which is likely!). It depends on how you take it... I mean, it's not necessarily pointing any fingers to heaven and stuff but it's a question to "WHAT HAPPENS AFTER WE DIE?!" We all want to know that... unfortunately we don't... that's probably why we're so scared about dying LOL. M-m-m-maybeeeeeeee! Of course, Len is quite loyal to Miku and he really hasn't -cough- thought about his feelings for Rin... so... he might/might not like her? XD -shot- Hope you enjoyed the update! And sorry for the long review reply. D': -talks too much- Thank you for the kind review!_

_Lizzy '-' rocks - So far, you are guessing correctly~~ Hope you liked this update, thanks for the review!_

_Random fact: Every measurement in the universe is approximate, because it's impossible to measure all the atoms, protons, neutrons etc... technically, measurement is infinite._

_Thank you guys for the reviews! I really appreciate it! Please leave a review for this chapter and let me know what you think :) Feedback is great!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello~! Sorry for the wait, I've been busy with school (and had a bit of a writers block with the chapter) so it's taken me a bit over a week to finish this one. But don't worry, it's extra long x_x_

_**PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS WRITTEN IN LEN'S POV. Rin is taking a holiday, so he's taking over for a chapter~**_

_Italics stand for dreams, memories, thoughts and emphasis. Just a note since some of you guys may get confused by the overuse of it in this chapter. ahahah -sweat-_

_Enjoy~~!_

* * *

**Chapter Five**

_Overhead, an azure sky stretches out as far as imagined. Below, luminous emerald grass dotted with vibrant flowers drives on for eternity, over the hills in the distance and further. The air is saccharine with the fragrance of the blossoms and the weather is just perfect – warm and sunny._

_In the distance, I can hear a girl's voice. It's sweet, yet strong. I can't make out what she is singing at first – I am too far away. I try to move closer in the direction of the voice warily, judging the scenery around me. Butterflies danced a waltz in the valleys and colourful birds fluttered around greedily from flower to flower. I could feel the warm sun burning into my skin, making me feel thoroughly comforted inside and out. This place is nice. But it is _too_ nice. It isn't real._

_I can finally make out the girl's delicate figure in the distance – pale, ivory skin that glowed radiant in the sunlight and short, golden hair that shimmered. She is wearing a white sundress with a white bow on her head and is facing away from me. My heart tightens. I know who she is… I know…_

_I could hear the lyrics better now. "Why must I have been born? Why is my heart the colour of silver?" she's asking melodiously, turning her body slightly and clutching her small hand to her chest with a painful expression. The answer is there – now that I could see her face clearly. She is-_

"Ri-" I go to shout, but I am interrupted by a shrieking alarm. The scenery fades and the girl disappears, to be replaced by my bedroom wall. A sinking feeling takes place in my chest as I realise it was just a dream. I groan, roll over and turn off my alarm clock.

In hoping, I look over to the corner where Rin usually sat. She isn't there. It's empty like usual, just as it's been for the last three months. Rin's gone. I should know that already. But I just keep wishing she's still around, hiding maybe – waiting. She didn't even say goodbye.

That tight, cold feeling in my chest returns again. It's something that came when Rin left. I swing my legs out from under the covers of my bed to be overwhelmed by the frosty air. It's only a week away until its December; officially winter. And then it'll be Rin and I's birthday.

I make my bed and open up my curtains, bathing my room in the morning sun rays. A sigh escapes my lips as I glance over at that corner, _again_, expecting Rin to be there. It's strange. I've become obsessed over a ghost – my girlfriend's dead best friend. It's not that I love her, exactly, but I enjoyed her presence. She was a positive influence and her smile just made me feel generally happy. She died at a young age and barely lived her whole life. And then she devoted her last moments on Earth to seeing her best friend happy.

You can't say that's exactly egocentric of her.

Frowning in thought, I head to the bathroom to have a shower. I have a feeling someone's watching me – but it's probably just me being paranoid, with Rin gone and all. It's there on and off, although it's nothing. A ghost wouldn't just play games and hide if it knows I can see/sense them.

That's one thing I hate about myself – being psychic. It sounds so stupid, I know, saying 'I can see dead people' and stuff. Nobody but my parents know about this, and I don't plan on telling anyone else – I don't even expect them to believe me. I can imagine Miku freaking out and breaking up with me just for that reason. Honestly, who'd want a psychic for a boyfriend?

Then again, I worry about Miku breaking up with me all the time. Now I know what it feels like to be in a relationship – you're constantly treading on broken glass, afraid that if you make one mistake that'll be it. I don't want to lose Miku. She's precious to me. And I promised Rin.

"_You better not hurt her," Rin warns one afternoon as we are heading back to my house, "I won't forgive you if you do." A typical caring best friend, Rin is. She's devoted. I admire that._

"_Of course not," I reply with a nervous smile, scratching the back of my head. I look at Rin who is frowning back at me, her arms folded over her chest. She studies me with her cobalt eyes, as if expecting me to break and say, 'Who am I kidding? I'll probably hurt her…'_

"_Promise?" she asks, snapping me out of my daydream. Rin holds out her hand, although it isn't really all there… she notices this and snatches it back with a huff, looking down in embarrassment._

"_I promise." I reply gently with a smile, giving her thumbs up. "Miku-chan means a lot to me and I'd hate to lose her… that's if… we ever get into a relationship…" I blush at the words coming out of my mouth. Rin rolls her eyes and makes a raspberry noise with her mouth._

"_It'll happen, Len-kun. That's my promise to you."_

The wintry air nips at my stark-naked body as I strip off and stand around, waiting for the shower water to turn warm. Goosebumps form on my arms and legs and my teeth chatter slightly. My body hates winter. It's a pity my birthday has to be in the direct middle of it.

A gush of searing water comes through and I practically fling myself into the shower, straight under the stream that trickles out of the showerhead. I feel relief as the cold goes away and is replaced with warmth. I decide to reflect the dream I had – another with Rin in it.

On and off, throughout the last three months, I've had dreams where I'd go to this paradise-like place and see Rin. Each and every time I go to speak or greet her, the dream ends abruptly. It's terrible. Why won't my own dreams just let me talk to her – just once? Is it because I don't know how she'd react?

The dreams are quite peculiar. Rin is always wearing a white sundress and it's always day in my dream. Quite often, she's singing – although, every now and again, she's making flower crowns and doing other pastimes. I've never heard the songs she sings before, let alone I don't even know what Rin sounds like when she sings – so how am I making those up? _Maybe Rin is trying to converse with me through dreams? _A voice questions from the back of my mind.

Wait, that'd be _too _weird. Things like that are a bit _too _unrealistic. It's just probably me and my imagination. I've probably heard the songs on the radio but never take notice of it. And I'm probably just using another person's voice for hers since I don't know what she sounds like.

I wish just once that I could talk to her in those dreams – even though it's not real. I miss her, truthfully, like a close friend. Perhaps we were close friends – in a way. After all, we got to know each other much better because she was practically by my side 24/7. Let alone, we were friends in elementary school – guiltily enough, my bad memory had forgotten that and she had to remind me.

I wash myself thoroughly and depart reluctantly with the warm water when I'm done. I wrap my towel around me and climb out, back into the chilly air. Water droplets trickle down my chest and I try to wipe them away, but more just keep returning. I sigh and look up into the mirror.

Gross. I'm always gross. I truly don't see what Miku sees in me. My face is _not _symmetrical the least bit and it's too feminine. I practically look like a pretty boy, though I try my best to _avoid _looking like one. It's just my ridiculous make-up – big eyes like a doll, skinny limbs like a 10-year-old girl and not much body hair. Not that I want a lot of hair – I prefer not to look like a grizzly bear.

Mum's words of advice echo in my head. _'Be happy with what you got, Len. You can't change it,' _She told me one day when I complained about how slow my growing progress is (I still really haven't hit puberty – just the irritating growth spurt).

I dry my hair and brush it up into the casual messy ponytail. I throw on my school uniform and slink off, down the hallway to the kitchen. Mum is already awake, drinking some green tea and reading the newspaper at the counter.

"Good morning, Len-kun," she greets me as I enter the kitchen without glancing up once. I nod a response, but remember she isn't looking at me so I have to speak up – much to my disinclination.

I give a failed attempt at greeting her, before clearing my throat and trying again. "Morning," I reply in a dull tone without enthusiasm. She makes an 'hmm' sound, to show she heard, before falling silent again. My stomach grumbles impatiently to remind me what I'm standing around for.

I end up making peanut-butter on toast. That's my laziness kicking in. "Len-kun," Mum already has a comment for my breakfast meal, "surely you would choose to make something more wholesome than that," she complains. She looks up at me and raises an eyebrow in question.

I bite into the piece of toast and shrug. "I can't be bothered to make anything else," I reason. She sighs, placing down the paper and taking a sip of her green tea.

"Well, at least eat a banana or something before you leave," Mum states, getting up from her seat. She walks by me and ruffles my hair. "It's no good having such an empty breakfast when you need energy for school." She adds with a frown before disappearing from the kitchen.

I finish up my toast and just like Mum had asked, ate a banana. I go back to the bathroom and clean my teeth, before I'm heading off for a day of school.

I bump into Miku on my way, like I do on most days. "Oh, Len-kun!" she squeaks when she sees me, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. I smile down at her, enjoying the embrace. My face is slowly heating up – this is normal.

"G-good morning, Miku-chan," I greet, leaning down and pecking her on the lips. She blushes and smiles up at me, intertwining her delicate fingers in between mine. "How are you feeling?" I ask as we continue down the footpath, hand-in-hand.

"Alright, alright~" she sings, swinging our arms back and forth in the air. "How are you?" she asks back cheerfully.

"Tired," I reply, stifling a yawn with my other hand. She laughs, twiddling her teal hair with her finger.

"Aren't we all?" she states. I nod with a grin. A silence lingers in between us, mainly just because I am simply enjoying Miku's presence. "It's been cold lately, huh? Winter's finally coming." She adds after a while, breaking the quiet atmosphere.

"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it." I mumble, sounding annoyed. She chuckles and squeezes my hand with hers.

"Why not?" she asks, "You'll get to see the snow – and if winter doesn't come, neither does your birthday," I frown. She has a good point there. Snow is quite pretty and fun, despite how cold it is. And I want to turn fifteen already – so I'm the same age as Miku. It's embarrassing when she teases me about her being older.

"I guess so." I sigh. I remember Rin and how it would be her birthday, too, at the end of December. She'd be the same age as us, as well.

"Oh, yeah!" Miku exclaims when she remembers something. "That reminds me – have you been studying for the Mathematics exam? It's next week, you know," she tells me with bubbly enthusiasm. Miku loves Mathematics – and I despise it. Unfortunately, I have _not _been studying – let alone have thought about it.

"Er," I say, grinning nervously at her as she raises an eyebrow, "no… I haven't…" Miku sighs and shakes her head, frowning at me.

"How are you going to be able to pass if you don't study?" she asks. I shrug, scratching the back of my head.

"I hate studying for Mathematics," I state bluntly. Miku pouts, squeezing my hand gently with hers. Suddenly, I get an awesome idea. "Hmm, Miku-chan, are you busy on the weekend?" I ask. Miku raises an eyebrow.

"I am busy on Sunday, but I'm free on Saturday. Why?"

"I was wondering if you would like to come over my house… to study. I guess it'd help a bit since you're so good at Mathematics and maybe you could help me understand it a little bit better." I explain, noticing the school buildings approaching in the distance.

"Like a study date?" she asks with a smirk. I blush, looking down at the cement beneath our feet.

"W-we-well, if you want…" I stammer, embarrassed. She giggles at my embarrassment.

"Sure! Is Saturday morning okay for you?" Miku suggests chirpily.

"Yeah, it's fine. Nine o'clock?"

"Fine by me!" she exclaims, before letting go of my hand. "I'll see you in class, okay? Bye, Len-kun!" Suddenly, Miku is gone, disappearing into the crowd of students ahead. I sigh. She's so energetic all the time. I don't know where she gets her energy.

* * *

_A crowd of bullies stand in front of me, smirks on their hideous faces. They keep shooting rude remarks in my way, occasionally shoving me over into the dirt. "You are such a nerd, kid," one remarks in a snide way, making the others snicker. I shudder, wishing that they'd just leave me alone._

"_What's wrong?" another one asks, stepping out from the group. He is much taller and stockier than me, making me feel instantly intimidated. I stare up at him, chewing my bottom lip anxiously. "Cat got your tongue?"_

_I whimper as he closes in and raises one hand in the air. "You stink," he tells me with a cold voice. The bully brings it down swiftly and- _Smack! _I stumble backwards, falling once again into the mud. My cheek throbs from the impact and my heart is pounding like crazy. I'm so scared; I wish I can just disappear. I close my eyes as he goes to kick me in the side. _

"_You're nothing but worthless shit!" he yells maniacally, taking a blow at my ribs. I scream out in pain as he kicked me, laughing loudly. His friends snicker, standing around and just watching him beat the crap out of me. My glasses are smashed with his fist and my nose is now bleeding – I can taste the blood in my mouth, as disgusting as it sounds._

_I try to choke out words. "S-stop it," I whisper, closing my eyes as he throws another punch into the side of my head. "Please… stop…" I curl up into a ball to defend myself, feeling tears well up in my eyes. All I wish is that they'd leave me alone… but never… I am always the victim…_

_A girl's voice rings out. "Hey, you dickheads! What do you think you're doing?" I can hear the girl yell. It's Rin's voice – Kagamine Rin, a girl from my class. She's friends with Miku, I think. "Leave him alone!" she screams. I can't see her because my glasses are broken and my eyes are blurry with tears, but she's nearby._

"_Oh, look! It's that weasel's girlfriend! What was 'er name? Bitch?" someone suggests and they all laugh cruelly. I pull my glasses away from my face while they're distracted with Rin and rub my eyes. She's standing in front of me with her schoolbag slung over one shoulder, glaring daggers._

"_Excuse me?" she snaps, narrowing her cerulean eyes at the one who said the latter. "Do you really think I'd burst into tears with a lame insult like that? Grow up, the lot of you!" Rin clenches her fists and unclenches them, standing still – holding her ground. For a few moments, it's almost as if there's a staring contest going on between the girl and the bullies._

"_R-Rin-chan…" I groan, sitting up, "stay out of this…" Rin turns her head sharply and gazes at me with a grimace – as if she's telling me to shut up – before turning back to the group of bullies and baring her teeth in a menacing way. I fall silent, surveying the situation from the background._

"_Piss off, all of you," she hisses through her teeth, "and if I see you bothering Len-kun again, I'll report to my dad and you can deal with the police." The bullies' faces paled at what she said. Rin's dad is a policeman, so she wasn't bluffing. I watch as they slink off warily, exchanging frightened glances._

_I gaze at Rin with admiration as she helps me up onto my feet. She is so brave – I wish I could be the same. "Hey, are you okay?" she asks with a gentle voice, frowning at me in concern. I nod and smile, but cringe when my bruised ribs remind me I'm _not okay_. "Your nose is bleeding." She sighs, rummaging through her schoolbag._

_Rin pulls out a mini first-aid kit, as well as some tissues and sits me down on a bench nearby. She perches beside me, passing me a handful of tissues which I held to my nose. I stay as still as possible as she began to carefully apply antiseptic cream to my cuts and scratches. Rin puts Pokémon Band-Aids over the tops of the worst ones, humming quietly as she moves on to the next lot of scratches._

_When she's done, she looks up at me and studies my face for a minute. "What happened to your glasses?" Rin asks in a grim voice as her cerulean eyes bore into mine. I tear my gaze away from hers and glance at the shattered frames on the ground a few meters away._

_Rin stands up and walks over to the glasses, gently picking them up in her hands and bringing them over to me. "They're broken," she mumbles unhappily, handing them to me. "You can still see without them, though, right?" She tilts her head to the side questioningly._

_I nod briefly, chewing my bottom lip. Why is she being so nice to me? I'm just the weird kid in her grade with no friends – who sees a counsellor because he gets bullied so much and apparently still has 'imaginary friends' (I swear, they're not hallucinations… but ghosts). What's so special about that?_

_Soon, tears are spilling down my cheeks. Rin sits down again and pulls me into a friendly hug. Seriously, why does Rin, quite a popular and pretty girl, care about me? Doesn't she know that if she becomes friends with me that she'll become unpopular too?_

_We sit in each other's embraces for a while – me soaking her shirt with tears and her humming quietly again, as if she is trying to soothe me. It's comforting. I've never had anyone do this before, apart from my mother._

_Eventually, I pull myself together and break away. Her cerulean eyes show sympathy and precaution. Rin takes my hand and gently squeezes it before standing up again and stretching. "Well, I got to go now, Len-kun," she tells me with an apologetic smile, "If there's anything bothering you, you can tell me, alright?" I nod briefly, snivelling and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand._

_I can't tell her one of my main worries – the 'hallucinations'. I know they're real. They talk to me. They're people who were once alive. They're ghosts. But as if she'd believe me! No one does. I'm still trying to convince my mother… but even she just laughs and shakes her head at me…_

_I'm taken by surprise as, just before Rin walks off, she turns back to me and presses her soft lips against mine. It's so quick, I'm not even sure whether it happened or not. "Bye," she adds and walks off swiftly, disappearing into the distance. My heart beat quickens, but I'm not sure what it means._

_Did… Kagamine Rin, the best friend of my crush, kiss me?_

_I put my fingers up to my lips and touch them, still in disbelief. No… it could have just been my imagination, right?_

* * *

I stare up at the ceiling, contemplating whether the latter was a dream or a memory. It could have been both a mixture – but I don't understand. Why would I dream about a memory I pretty much forgot? I rub my forehead in confusion.

Rin and I were both in sixth grade, then, I believe. It's the year before we both went off to different middle schools. She was my friend, as well as Miku, though it wasn't an official friendship. I had been caught up too much in my feelings for Miku to realise Rin was still there, too.

I feel bad. She would've remembered, that, right? And the kiss… it was real too…

Something strange is happening in my chest. My hearts beating really fast and my chest feels tight. Don't tell me I'm having a heart attack at the age of fourteen! My face heats up like an oven as the evidence suddenly clicks together like a puzzle.

Did Rin have a crush on _me _in elementary school? No, no, she couldn't have. I was just as ugly then as I am now. I was uncool and stupid. Why would Rin like me? She was pretty, smart and had lots of friends back then – too many to even _think _about my existence.

But that kiss… I really, really don't know. It could have been some sort of comfort thing – I've heard of that before. It could just be my mind stuffing around the real memory – so she probably didn't kiss me after all. I end up driving the palm of my hand into my face and groaning in frustration.

"Len-kun, what are you doing? Your girlfriend is going to be here in fifteen minutes~" Mum's voice wafts down the hallway. What the heck? I roll over and face my alarm clock, to see if she was being serious. It's 8:45.

I throw myself out of my bed and onto the floor, scrambling over to my cupboard and quickly finding the outfit I prepared last night to wear today. It's Saturday morning, meaning Miku is coming over to study with me. I can't believe I slept in.

I tear through the house towards the bathroom and jump in to the shower at lightning speed, before jumping out again. I don't even dry myself properly, since I'm rushing so much. I don't bother drying my hair and just throw it up while it's still dripping wet with water.

I rush back to my room and fix it up so it is presentable-looking for Miku. The last thing a girl likes is a guy with a messy room – according to Rin, but she could have been teasing since she said it with a smirk.

Soon, I've downed my breakfast and cleaned my teeth. I end up standing at the front door, waiting anxiously for Miku to knock. She is running a bit late; the clock tells me its three minutes past nine. I'm not a crazy person who expects everyone to be on time – I am relieved because if she arrived any earlier, she might have seen me running around with a toothbrush in my mouth and toothpaste going everywhere. That would have been embarrassing.

I am snapped out of my daze when, just as expected, someone knocks on the door. Nervously, I fix my clothes and open the door carefully, peeking through the crack. To my relief, it's Miku standing there patiently with a smile on her face.

"Oh, hello, Len-kun!" she exclaims cheerfully when I properly pull the door open. Miku steps into the house with care and bows her greeting to me formally, before taking off her shoes and placing them aside. Today, she's wearing a pretty dress, loose scarf, leggings and boots. She looks very cute.

"G-good morning," I greet with a shy smile, before leaning down and swooping her into my arms to share a quick, passionate kiss. My face heats up at the contact of our lips. We pull away quick enough and Miku sighs happily. My mother comes by, her face lighting up when she spots Miku.

"Oh, you must be Len-kun's lovely girlfriend!" she cries, coming over and bustling about Miku. "I'm Len-kun's mother, Miriam. It's nice to meet you." She shakes Miku's hand gently and Miku giggles, tucking a strand of her teal hair behind her ear.

"Oh, oh, it's nice to meet you too, Ms Kagamine! I'm Hatsune Miku," Miku squeaks, bowing to her. Mum laughs.

"My, my, what a lovely girl! Well, then, I should get back to what I was doing," Mum clucks, waving her hand about. She buzzes off again, heading in the direction from the kitchen. I sigh, shaking my head slowly.

"Don't mind her, she's a bit too energetic for her age," I tell Miku as I lead her down the hallway to my room. Miku laughs, clasping her hands in front of her and shrugging carelessly.

"Oh, I think she's beautiful," Miku tells me with a smile. I open my bedroom door slowly and walk in, to be instantly engulfed in that strange feeling that someone was watching me again. I really _am _getting paranoid.

I sit on the carpet in the middle of my room and Miku follows suit, pulling out her Mathematics equipment and carefully laying them out in front of her. I lean over and grab my stuff off my desk, placing it beside me. "Okay, so, where do we start?" I ask once we've opened up our books onto a clean page.

Miku taps her chin with her mechanical pencil in thought, looking up at my ceiling. "Hmm… well, what's the stuff you don't really get? We could cover that first… and then just do some quick reviewing of the rest of the things to make sure you understand it all properly." She suggests, smiling at me.

"All of it," I say with a guilty tone of voice, looking down at my book in embarrassment. Miku sighs, turning to the first chapter of the text book.

"If you don't get any of the Maths, Len-kun, then why aren't you getting tutoring?" she asks. I look up and she is frowning at me in concern. "I mean, no wonder you don't like it – you have no idea what you are doing." She adds, looking me directly in the eyes.

"Uh…" I mumble, ducking my head down. "I don't know."

"Then maybe you should get tutored. Trust me; Mathematics is a lot better when you understand it." Miku states, tapping her pacer against her book. I nod slowly and chew my bottom lip.

"Would you… tutor me?" I ask, almost too quietly to be audible.

"Tutor you? Len-kun, I'm not really the best at Math so it'd be much better if you got a legit tutor. Sorry," she apologises with a gentle voice. "Well, let's just try to understand this stuff first. We'll talk about tutoring later…" she trails off as she reads the first chapter quickly.

I sigh. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

A few hours later, we decide to take a break. It's about lunchtime, so I go to the kitchen to make some lunch for Miku and I while she continues study in my room. Surprisingly, we've managed to cover three chapters successfully – even I can understand them now. Miku's way of explaining is so much easier to understand than the teacher's.

"How's the studying going, Len-kun?" Mum asks when she enters the kitchen. I'm in the middle of making some sandwiches – and I'm trying my best to make them look at least edible. She snorts when she sees my attempt at lunch. "Are you trying to massacre the lettuce or something?"

I get highly defensive of my disaster-in-the-making. "N-no! I'm trying to make a sandwich." I mutter, blushing in embarrassment. Mum sighs and pushes me out of the way, taking the butterknife from my hand.

"You go and pour some drinks. I'll finish this because you clearly _cannot_ make a sandwich." I flinch at her harsh words, but skulk off to the cupboard to find some cups. I pour two glasses of water and push them aside, looking over at Mum. "All done," she states, handing the plates to me. Seriously? It would have taken me another ten minutes to finish what she had just done in thirty seconds.

I take the plates with a frown. "Thanks," I say and place them on the counter. I go back to my room to tell Miku that I'm done. When I walk in, Miku's standing by my desk, staring at something. Her expression is unreadable and she's very still.

"Uh, Miku-chan?" I ask carefully and she looks up abruptly, with her eyes wide. "Lunch is ready." I state, watching as she closes my sketchbook carefully and walks over. "What were you looking at?" I ask as we stride down the hallway to the kitchen. Miku pales and chews her bottom lip.

"Oh, your art. It's very beautiful," she mumbles quietly. The conversation is left at that.

We enter the kitchen and take a seat at the counter in silence. I'm trying to think of something to say, but I can't think of anything so I just stay mute. I don't think Miku wants to talk anyway – she's acting strange. The two of us finish our lunch and end up back in my room, about to resume studying.

"Are you okay?" I ask gently when she hasn't spoken for a while. Miku looks up and forces a smile on her face that looks fake. What's wrong with her?

"I'm fine," she replies quickly, trying to sound reassuring. I frown at her and shuffle closer, pulling her into my arms.

"No you're not. Is something the matter? Did I do something wrong?" I query, still holding her. I grab her hand and squeeze it carefully, intertwining my fingers with hers. She's very silent for a moment, as if she's deciding whether or not to tell me what's wrong.

"Do you really want to know?" she asks back after a minute of stillness, her voice very soft. Miku pulls away and looks at me with her turquoise eyes, a solemn expression on her face. "It's nothing concerning you." She adds. I breathe a sigh of relief at that, but I still want to know what's wrong.

"Yes, it worries me when you don't tell me what's wrong. I don't like it when you're unhappy," I state, smiling gently at her with concern. Miku's shoulders sag slightly and she exhales shakily, fiddling with her pacer.

"Can I see your sketchbook again?" she asks warily, nodding over at the book perched on my desk. I nod and she stands up, retrieving the book. She sits down again beside me, starting to cautiously flick through the pages, until she reaches some recent pictures. Miku stops at one page and holds it open at me. It's the picture of Rin I drew three months ago; before she went. I felt my blood go cold.

"This picture looks like my best friend. You know Kagamine Rin, right? From elementary school?" she inquires, gazing at the picture with a sad expression.

"Y-yeah…" I mutter, feeling slightly worried that Miku saw the picture. What do I do? Do I just lie and say I did it from my imagination? I look at Miku and she's carefully studying the picture. Is… she going to tell me that… Rin died? I feel light-headed.

Miku sighs, closing the book. "Never mind, it doesn't matter."

I frown. "No, no, what about Rin-chan?" I urge, watching as she stands up and places it back on my desk. She shakes her head and closes her eyes.

"Don't worry about it," she murmurs, but her voice cracks. Suddenly, Miku collapses on the ground and covers her face. She starts to sob into her hands. "I-it's just… I can't…" she stammers, her body shaking. I wrap one arm around Miku and pull her hands away from her face with my other hand.

"Is… is she… dead?" I ask gently. Miku cries even harder. I freak out and start trying to calm her down, by wiping her tears and telling her everything is okay. I feel so empty inside – hearing myself say these things… I just… don't want to remember…

Miku calms down after a while and takes a deep breath. "Len-kun, can we postpone the rest of this study session to either Monday or Tuesday afternoon?" she asks quietly. I nod. "M-maybe it's just better if I show you…" I can't help but feel uneasy at what Miku just said.

Show me _what_?

* * *

Miku and I are standing in an elevator, in the hospital. I can't wrap my head around where Miku is taking me. _Why are we in a hospital?_

I hate hospitals. This place is every psychic's nightmare, apart from a graveyard. Death is everywhere – as well as unhappy, unsatisfied souls that want to make your life as difficult as possible. I try my best to avoid going into hospitals, so I'm not psyched to be here. I still don't understand why Miku would take me to a hospital when Rin's dead. Maybe I'm missing something important.

The elevator stops and we step out into the hallway, where I'm overwhelmed by the cold presence. I shiver, turning to follow Miku as she takes a turn down the Intensive Care Unit aisle. She's very quiet and hasn't said anything else but what she said at my house before.

We walk, and walk, _and walk_ for what seems like a millennium, but really we've only just walked a few meters. This place makes me feel dizzy. I can sense _a lot _of restless spirits here. I can just feel them squirming under my skin. It's gross. Part of me wants to get out of here, but another part of me wants to stay – to keep following Miku. Where is she taking me?

Miku stops at a door near the end of the corridor. She closes her hand around the doorknob carefully and turns it very slowly, as if she doesn't want to make a nuisance. She disappears into the room and I follow her in, not wanting to get left behind.

Inside this room, it's a little bit warmer and I can no longer feel the uncomfortable squirming. Instead, the atmosphere is very still and sympathetic. Miku glides carefully over to a bed where someone lay, very, very stagnant. The hairs on my arm stick up when I walk over and see who it is.

Lying upon the bed, draped in pale, white sheets, is Rin.

I clamp my hand over my mouth, not only to stiffen a gasp of shock, but to stop myself from throwing up my lunch. I can feel Miku's gaze burning into the side of my face. She is holding Rin's frail, limp hand in between both of hers. My heart is pounding and I feel sick. It can't be. _It_ _can't be_.

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to make you face this." Miku tells me gently, stroking Rin's hand carefully. Rin's eyes are closed and she looks so _sick_, I can't even describe how lifeless she looks. Over her face is an oxygen mask, that's barely keeping her alive. "She won't wake up. I've tried everything. But s-she won't-" Miku's voice breaks and tears are falling down her cheeks again.

"What…" I whisper. She won't wake up?

"Rin's in a coma." Miku murmurs after a while of silence. I could hardly believe what she was saying.

"A c-coma?" I repeat, looking at Rin and back to Miku. _Then- how-_ "For how long? How long has she been like that?" _Why did Rin tell me she was dead?_

"About six months," Miku replies gently. My throat closes up and I can't speak anymore. It's too much. Miku continues quietly. "The doctors say that she'll probably never wake up. Her injuries were horrid and that it was even a miracle she managed to survive. And if s-she wakes up…" Her gaze wanders back to Rin and I follow, staring at her pale, lifeless body. "…t-there's a very high chance that she'll suffer from brain damage." Miku starts to cry again. A tear trickles down my cheek.

Rin is blissful. She's smart. She's loyal and liked by many people. She didn't deserve this. It's unfair. It's so unfair. The girl who always defended me against bullies… who always thought of me, even when I'm invisible and forgotten by others… why her?

I'm crying too. I feel so guilty. This empty feeling in my chest – it aches, it misses. I want to see Rin again. I want to see her smiling. I don't want to see her sick, dying, disabled… Why is the world so unfair? What did she do in order to gain this? What about her parents – her family? The rest of her life she could have possibly lived? Is she going to wake up and wonder why she's still alive? Will she even remember who she is?

"I-I'm sorry for showing you this, L-Len-kun," Miku chokes out, looking down at Rin still. "I-I still get s-sad about it. I-I'm just wishing t-that someday… s-she'll open her eyes… and s-say, 'Hey, I'm not going to die t-that easily!' B-but… it'll never…" I walk over to Miku and pull her into my arms. Tears keep falling down, they won't stop. I can't describe this feeling. It's so _sad_.

"I know…" I whisper into her hair, "I know. It's fine." That's all I can say. I repeat it over and over. _It's fine_. I'm just telling myself that because I don't want to believe it. _It's fine. Rin's fine. Everything's fine._ Nothing's fine. Everything's wrong. Why Rin? Why not… me?

* * *

Winter arrives like an unwanted relative. Soon, the streets are coated in the white blanket of snow and the air is frozen like a freezer. It's a little over a week away until my birthday – and Rin's. But she'll probably miss both of ours. And maybe Miku's next year too, if she's given a chance. Her condition hasn't improved. I've managed to visit a few times and the nurse told me that I shouldn't grow attached. If her condition doesn't improve by February, then…

I shiver as the wind blows gently just before I enter the hospital. Christmas is coming soon and people seem to be bustling about – coming to visit sick or dying relatives. I'm immersed into a slightly louder atmosphere, but it still seems to have the same sympathetic and content base.

Off by memory, I take the usual route to Rin's room. Just before I open the door, I close my eyes and imagine Rin, sitting up in her bed and looking healthy. Once again, she isn't. She's still unconscious and motionless, her pale face void of emotion. Something's odd about the atmosphere in here, though. There's another presence. When I place my bag down on the ground and look up, over at Rin, there's a woman.

She has long, golden hair that's tucked around one shoulder and crystal clear cerulean eyes that remind me of Rin's. She sat beside Rin's bed, staring down at her silently and watching her breathe. The woman looks to be about in her late thirties, early forties. What intrigued me the most is that she's immersed in a golden light. Could she be… an angel?

I stare in silence at her, not knowing what to do. Should I say hello? I chew my lip nervously, deep in thought, trying to think of ways to start a conversation. The woman's voice snaps me out of my daze, saving me from beginning the discussion.

"Are you just going to stand there like a pork chop and stare at me?" she asks, looking up and grinning deviously. I blink, taken aback. She may look graceful, but her mouth is pretty snappy. The woman raises an eyebrow in question and I gulp, taking a step towards her and Rin.

"W-who are you?" I stammer, frowning. This woman is weird. Why would she be watching Rin? And why the heck is she glowing? The lady straightens her gown out and sighs unenthusiastically, before striding towards me. She stops and examines me, tapping her chin with her finger in thought.

"Well, who do you think I am?" she queries, narrowing her eyes at me.

"A-" I go to start, but clear my throat and rethink the question. Is she…? That would explain why she's here. But why is she…? "Are you… Rin's mother?" I ask quietly, barely audible over the beeping of the life-support machines that are attached to Rin.

The woman's face splits into a kind smile. "Yes, yes I am. I'm Lily. And you must be Len, no?" So it's true? She really is her mother? I stare in awe for a while at the woman. I totally missed the fact that they _did _look quite alike. Rin had her face, her eyes, and her gentle smile.

I nod slowly, wondering how she knew my name. "Hmm, thought so. Rin likes you a lot." She adds a creepy laugh at the end of that sentence quickly. "Oh, just as a friend of course!" she mutters, turning back to Rin and shooting her an apologetic smile. _What was _that _about? _I think in total confusion.

"Do you want me to do something for you?" I ask nervously, chewing my bottom lip. I felt pressured to act my best around Rin's mother – showing rash behaviour wouldn't be a good example. Lily sighs and sits down on the edge of Rin's bed, clasping her hands together in her lap.

"Well, yes, I request you to do something. I feel bad for asking, but she won't listen to a word I say. She thinks it's all in her head, see? She doesn't want to remember." Lily explains carefully. I didn't get a word she said. _What's all in her head? What doesn't she want to remember?_ Lily sees my confused expression and tries to recite what she meant in a different way. "You see Rin here, right? She's asleep. But it's a different sort of sleep from the sleep that healthy people have. In her sleep, it's harder to wake up. She can't tell the difference between reality and dreams.

"I've tried going into her dreams and explaining this, but she's as thick as two bricks in her little world. The dream is a hallucination which makes you _think _you are in the real world and _forget _what is actually happening. So she doesn't believe me. The dream is just a way to lure you in. It's your paradise. Of course you won't want to wake up. It's perfect in your dreams." Lily's gazing at Rin's face with a concerned expression. "I believe she does remember why she's there, but she doesn't want to. It's scaring her. She _knows _she's in a coma. She _knows _she is dreaming. But she's running away from the truth. By all means, Rin should listen to her mother when she comes to her and tries to talk but she thinks I am a hallucination. I am a hallucination… because I am dead…

"So maybe you can help. She'll probably think you're an illusion too, but just try to talk her into waking up. Reason with her, make her cry even. _Make her remember why she's there_. But remind her why she might want to wake up. I tried doing this while you were sleeping at night – that explains why you're having such strange dreams about her, I believe you've realised this, right?" She stops and looks at me to check. I nod stiffly, a bit overwhelmed by all this information. "It'll be easier if you're here, closer to her, with no distractions. I can guide you into the dream. Her dream is like a second world – sort of a borderline between the living and the spirits. It's difficult to explain, since humans won't really get it. But it is dangerous if you stay too long, so I can only give you a time limit. Staying there for too long might make you end up like her too and we don't want _two _sleeping teenagers here, do we?

"Trust me; as long as you stick to the time limit you will be perfectly safe. It'll be just like a normal dream – but you can control it just as you please. I will let you know when to wake up – it'll be like a buzz. So as soon as you feel it, you need to _wake up _– no matter what. Just like you tell yourself to wake up in a horrible nightmare, okay? Don't even bother telling Rin goodbye, because the longer your stay is, it'll just make it harder to wake up." Lily studies my reaction. I nod.

"So, how do I get there?" I ask, surprisingly with a calm voice although I am quite nervous. Lily smiles and nods over to the couch.

"Sit there so you don't pass out and hit your head, first." She instructs. I do so and sit, before looking back at her in an expectant way. Lily stands up and walks over to me. "Just close your eyes and lean your head back, just like you're going to take a nap. Count to thirty and then open your eyes again. You should be there."

I tilt my head up against the top of the couch and close my eyes. I felt extremely anxious. _Why do I trust this stranger? _I think as I start counting to thirty. _For all I know, she could be lying and trying to kill me_. I shrug off that thought.

29…

30.

* * *

Brilliant green grass surrounds me. It's dotted with effervescent flowers that sway silently in the cool wind that breezed over the valley ahead. The weather is the opposite of the weather in the real world – warm, sunny and clear. There is no sight of winter – or snow.

"Seems familiar, doesn't it?" A voice asks me. I turn quickly, to only see its Lily again. She smiles and gazes out over at the scenery. "It's beautiful… just like her personality." She breathes, closing her eyes. Only a few moments later, she snaps them open again. "Now, I wonder where that Rin is…"

We begin to circle the area, walking across the field and through the flowers that held such a brilliant scent. This place seems so real. It's scary. Now I see why Rin wouldn't want to wake up.

"Every time I come here in my dreams at home, Rin is usually doing something…" I say into the silence as we stride through the meadow. Lily nods her head briefly to show she is listening. I continue, "Such as singing or making flower crowns…" I trail off into the silence as the wind carries my voice.

Lily shades her eyes from the sun with one hand and laughs gently. "Oh, yes, Rin loves singing and making things from nature. She has a lovely voice… I really don't know why she hid it so much while I was alive." Lily explains, a melancholic expression taking place on her face. So the singing I heard in my dream was really Rin's voice? My heart skips a beat and a strange fluttering feeling rises in my chest. Huh? Maybe it's just the dream world making me imagine it.

"She's beautiful," I mutter without thinking. I only realise what I just said when Lily's head snaps to me and raises her eyebrows, a smirk playing on her lips. "N-no- wait- I mean, she _is _beautiful but I meant to say her voice is beautiful as well. She told me she wasn't very good at singing." My face breaks into a blush and I look away, surveying the area to my left.

Lily blows a raspberry. "Oh, she's such a Negative Nancy. 'I'm good at nothing, I'm good at nothing,' she used to mope around the house and complain. Honestly, she just needs a little faith. Rin is talented but she keeps comparing herself to people who are talented in different things, or have had more progress than her." Lily huffs and folds her arms over her chest, puffing out her cheeks. "Maybe you can knock some sense into her, Len-kun," she adds and smiles at me.

"N-no… she wouldn't believe me…" I sigh, scuffing at the grass with my shoes. _Where the hell is Rin? _I think, squinting over at the valleys in the distance. No sign of her. Maybe she woke up when we went in? I frown. I _hope _and _hope _not.

Lily mumbles something but I don't hear it. She is smiling creepily. "Oh, there she is~" I look over at where Lily is gazing at, to see a small figure walking away from us. She is wearing the identical white sundress – and I just noticed how it shimmers in the light. I stare at her for a while in awe.

"Huh, Len-kun? Are you going to talk to her or not? We haven't got all day, you know." Lily jokes, nudging me out of my daze. I blush again. _What is going on with me today? I keep thinking strangely about Rin… but I swear I don't like her that way…_

"W-what do I say?" I ask nervously, feeling suddenly reluctant to go over there. _What happens if I say something wrong which makes Rin not want to wake up? What happens if my attempt doesn't work?_

"Have a normal conversation with her, Len-kun. You'll figure it out." She assures simply. Just like that, Lily disappears and I am standing alone in the meadow.

I turn my gaze back to Rin who is standing off in the valley below, gathering flowers. It's strange not seeing her in that sleeping state, where she is so weak-looking. My heart does a strange _thump_ and I draw in a shaky breath, carefully picking my way through the slight overgrown grass and blossoms that surround me.

As I near Rin's figure, I take in more of her features. When she was a ghost, she was slightly translucent and lacked colour. This time, I notice how glowing her skin is – a healthy, fresh ivory tinged with pink, and how gorgeous her hair is – soft, sunny, that is streaked with golden colours. I stare just for a while, in astonishment at how I never noticed her beauty before. It's strange.

I take another step towards her. My heart is thrumming against my chest rapidly, something I really only experience when I'm with Miku. I clutch my hand at my chest, trying to make it stop. It doesn't work. I close my eyes and try to calm myself.

This may be the last time I can ever talk to Rin. I should make it worth it. I want to see Rin awake. I want to see her smile again…

I open my eyes and clear my throat to get her attention – though it comes out sounding like a mangled squeak. Rin turns abruptly, her bright, cerulean eyes meeting mine and her golden hair whipping around her face. Her dress swishes around her, flapping in the all-of-a-sudden gush of wind that has picked up in the valley. My face breaks out into a ripe tomato and I stand there, not saying anything. _What do I say? What do I say? What the flipping hell do I say to her?_ I'm thinking, my thoughts whirring crazily.

Rin looks so healthy. Her large, beautiful eyes twinkle like stars and her cheeks are rosy. Her golden eyelashes are long and abundant. Her mouth is suspended open in the air slightly, like she has paused in the middle of saying something. Right now, I'm assured that I sound like Shakespeare – but who cares. It's just… will I ever get to see her like that again?

Eventually, after a few moments of Rin and me staring at each other in a dead, awkward silence, I decide to speak up. I don't have all day. "H-hey, Rin-chan," I breathe out into the wind, my voice coming across almost as a whisper. I can barely hear it over my heartbeat, that's pounding in my head. "It's been a really long time, hasn't it?"

* * *

_Yay! So, that's that chapter over and done with. Did you enjoy it? Not enjoy it? Let me know what you think, please ;v;b_

_The song Rin was singing in the start was 'Dolls', by her of course. If you haven't heard the song, then pleaaaaaaaase, go listen now! XD It's depressing but amazing. (RinxLen seal of approval.)_

_Oh my gooooooooood. Len, why are you such a slow character? -headdesk- He's so painful to write POV's for. I died writing this. ; A ; sigh._

_I really enjoyed Lily in this story. She's such a weird character. I love weird characters. Maybe that's because I am weird too... XD_

_Thank you guys so much for the support! **Here are the review replies, as usual -yo!**_

_Splendence - Yay~ Haha, Len is so confused XD He needs help. Haha, thank you so much! Hope you liked this update! :)_

_Lynn 'Ne'-chan - Yes, poor Rin D: -hugs Rin- Len is slow, but don't worry... he'll get there, eventually XD Thanks for the review!_

_Twisted Paradox - Yay, I'm glad you love it! Thank you for the review!_

_Kattochi - Haha, thank you! Hope you enjoyed this update!_

_bluefang62 - You'll see soon~ Don't worry! Thanks for the review! ^^_

_Angel Royal - Well I'm glad you love it so much! XDD Noooo don't ditch RinxLen for 96Neko D: -sob- Thank you for the kind review!_

_Mitsu - (reply to review from chap 3) Aw, thank you! I'm really glad you experience the characters feelings. Sometimes I worry I overdo it or tell too much instead of showing, so that's really heartening to hear that! ^^ I'm glad you like the story! No no, Rin isn't dead yet :D And yes, Miku does like Len, but Miku has a strong friendship with Rin because they've been close friends for quite a while. Then again, Miku is quite a forever-worrying character in this story... XD  
(reply to review from chap 4) I think your reviews come up slower because I forgot to enable any random reviews to come onto the site without the 36-hour wait... heh, sorry ^^llll (fixed that now, so hopefully we won't have to deal with that again D:) Thank you so much for the kind reviews and I hope you liked this update!_

_Saph - (reply to review from chap 3) Ah, it's because I had the 36-hour wait thingy enabled but I changed it so now your reviews should come up quickly :3 Sorry about that -is stupid- I hope Rin wakes up too! Well, you'll just have to wait and see... eeehehehehe... Rin forgot because she "made" herself forget. Truly, she knew, but avoided the truth to not get hurt. It's difficult, but I hope it makes more sense when I write more of Rin's POV in the future. I know, right?! LEN, STOP BEING SO STUPID AND LOVE RIN. D: -shakes fist- Haha, well I'm glad you enjoy them XD~  
(reply to review from chap 4) Haha, yaaaaaaaay! XD Agh, yes, guilty is mean D: That's true, Rin being a caring character and all will have problems with that hahaha and actually, you're quite right! Len is confused, but I guess it's obvious he likeshermaybenot. Of course, denial, denial since he's already in a relationship. -sigh- Haha, here's another long reply, I hope you're enjoying it -shot- 8'D Oh really? I didn't know that! You learn something new every day! Haha, my last name means 'wooden apple' in German. OTL. best name ever. -brick- Thank you so much for the reviews!_

_Random science fact: Banana (plant)'s scientific name is musa balbisiana (one of many, though). Mandarin's scientific name is citrus reticulata (sp? xD). Human's scientific name is homo sapien. hahaha I can't believe I remember that stuff. -sigh-_


	6. Chapter 6

_Here's the next instalment to Peace of Mind! Thanks for all those who've supported me so far~ _

_And dfsjnhgkfsdhdfjsh! 1k views already~! ; U ;_

_I have a feeling this is a sloppy chapter. I'm sorry D: -cry-_

_**THIS IS IN RIN'S POV! Rin's back from her... holiday...? XD**  
_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter! Review replies are at the bottom._

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"Thank you so much, Rin-chan," the teacher thanks me gently as I place the heavy pile of books onto the desk in front of me. I turn to the teacher and smile carelessly, bowing my head slightly to show respect.

"It's no problem, Yamada-sensei," I reply. I turn to exit the office, but hesitate. "Have a nice weekend!" I add quickly with a brief wave, before rushing out the door and into the empty school corridor. Yamada-sensei had asked me to help her carry some books to her office, so I accepted. I prefer not to get on the bad side of teachers. They scare me, sometimes.

I skip along the hallway, to my locker, retrieving my books and bag. Sighing in frustration, I cram as many books into the small backpack as possible and struggle to zip it closed. All the other students have gone home by now. Not that I mind staying back after school, it's not like I have anything to rush to at home.

Faintly, I hear some unpleasant yelling as I exit the school building and start heading across the school oval to the route home. I stop and tilt my head, attempting to make out the words.

"You're nothing but worthless shit!" someone shouts, rather boldly. It sounds terrible. I turn back to the school building in curiosity, following around the wall until I reach the opposite side. Standing a few meters away is a group of boys. I know them – they're the local bullies. My insides cringe at the sight of them.

They were obviously pounding the crap out of someone. My hand tightens around my bag strap as I try to peer around the boys to see who they are bullying. A boy screams as the tallest, scariest one of the clan takes a blow into the boy's stomach. I see the sunny, blonde hair…

Something flutters inside my chest. My cheeks flush and I suddenly become quite upset. My stomach flips. Before I know it, I'm shouting at them through anger.

"Hey, you dickheads!" I scream without thinking, as the group turn their heads abruptly and snicker at me. I suddenly forget my courage for the moment, but I cover it up by yelling at them again. "What do you think you're doing? Leave him alone!"

I shakily storm over in between the victim – Len – and the bullies and glare at them. I'm scared, actually, but I can't bear to see Len being pushed around as he always does. Why does Len have to get bullied so much? H-he's really nice…

"Oh, look! It's that weasel's girlfriend! What was 'er name? Bitch?" one from the front of the clan sneers, smirking at me. I grit my teeth and narrow my gaze, feeling my cheeks flare up again in embarrassment. G-girlfriend? I don't think Len likes me in that way. He likes Miku, my best friend, I'm certain. He always blushes and stumbles around her. It's really obvious, but Miku is too airy to even take notice.

"Excuse me?" I snap, my mouth speaking again without control as I feel a flash of jealousy and anger. It's so unfair. Why am I stuck in a stupid love triangle? "Do you really think I'd burst into tears with a lame insult like that? Grow up, the lot of you!" I growl, clenching my fists and unclenching them. We stand in silence, staring at each other as it sinks into their thick heads.

I detect movement behind me and turn my head slightly, seeing Len has removed his smashed glasses. I stare at the blood trickling down his chin. "R-Rin-chan…" he groans, trying to sit upright, "stay out of this…" I grimace, ignoring his words. Doesn't he know that this is unfair on him? One against six isn't good. I'm not staying out of it – sorry Len.

I turn my head back to face the bullies and bare my teeth threateningly. "Piss off, all of you," I hiss darkly, "and if I see you bothering Len-kun again, I'll report to my dad and you can deal with the police." I hate to boast, but it's true. I will report to my dad. I'm not afraid. I know they're afraid of getting in trouble.

I watch carefully as they exchange worried glances, gulp and start to skulk off. Even their faces are pale. Huh, wow… I didn't think that would work the first time…

I sigh in irritation and turn back to Len, helping him up off the ground. I can't help but feel pity for him. He's always copping crap from teachers to students. The teachers pick on him when he refuses to cooperate with things because he has 'hallucinations' and he's scared. The students trip him over in the hallway and bully him, grounding his existence down to a minute seed. His self-esteem is low, as he always distances himself from other people and hides in the corner alone.

I can't help but be interested in Len. He's really nice. I have to admit… I've liked him for quite a bit… although, I know he doesn't think of me anything more than just a mere acquaintance. He's always quiet and awkward around me, even though I try my best to lighten the atmosphere.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think he gets hallucinations. It could just be me being modest… although… the hallucinations he has seem realistic – like ghosts. Maybe he sees ghosts? Though, no one believes a word he says…

That would be cool, I think. Seeing dead people sounds like something interesting.

I feel flustered, helping up Len, because he's gazing at me so intently with his beautiful, cobalt eyes. There's that flutter of hope… but then again, he's probably looking at me like that because I stuck up for him against those bullies.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask quietly, glancing at the bruises and grazes that covered him from head to toe and frowning. I take note that his nose is bleeding a lot. The crimson blood is dripping down his chin and onto his school blouse, creating a red stain. I hope those idiots didn't _break_ his nose.

Len nods stiffly, but I can tell he's lying. "Your nose is bleeding," I add, sighing and starting to look for some tissues and my first aid kit that I kept in the bottom of my bag. I discover the first aid kit and tissues at the bottom of my bag. I drag him over to a bench nearby and motion him to sit, handing a generous amount of tissues to him. He takes them carefully and holds them up to his face, watching me quietly.

I reveal some antiseptic cream and Pokémon Band-Aids from the aid kit, which I gently apply to his deepest scratches. Len doesn't flinch or anything, only sits very still and stays very silent. I move on to the lighter grazes and unconsciously start humming a tune that's been stuck in my head all day.

I finally finish the worst of the lot and look up at his face, seeing that he's still watching me. But… where are his glasses? I recall seeing them broken, but… "What happened to your glasses?" I ask, sounding grim. I hold his gaze for a few moments, before he tears his away and nods over to where we were standing just before.

I spot the mangled frames on the grass and stride over to them. The glass is shattered and the frame has been bent, like they have copped a serious blow. I carefully pick them up and carry them in my hands back to Len, which then I reveal to him unhappily.

"They're broken," I mumble, handing them to him prudently. He takes them from me and places them in his pocket. He can't wear them. "You can see without them, though, right?" I add, tilting my head to the side. What happens if he can't see?

He bites down on his bottom lip and nods carefully. I don't really believe him, but decide to leave it at that – since it's none of my business to force him into anything. Unexpectedly, Len chokes out a small sob that takes me by surprise. Tears start trickling down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and onto his school blouse. My heart tightens in sympathy. I sit down hastily and pull him into a comforting hug as he begins to cry.

He cries for a while into my shoulder, his body shaking from the sobs. I never want to let him go – seeing him sad makes me sad as well. I start to hum a tune again, a tune from a song that Mum sings when I'm upset. Len doesn't seem to mind.

Eventually, he breaks away from the embrace and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. I check my watch briefly to see the time – it's getting late and Mum will start worrying if I don't head off soon. I reach over and squeeze Len's hand gently.

He watches me with his cobalt gaze as I stand up and stretch. Apologetically, I smile at Len. "Well, I got to go now, Len-kun," I say, straightening my school uniform carefully. "If there's anything bothering you, you can tell me, alright?" I add, watching as he nods shortly, wiping his eyes again and snivelling. I hate having to leave him. I would stay with him for longer if I didn't have a worrying mother on the other end.

Len's sad eyes stare up at me and I feel a thump in my chest. What if I…? I avert my gaze to the ground, thinking carefully. Maybe if I just…

My face turns beetroot red at my thoughts and without thinking; I turn to him quickly and press my lips up against his. It's a short kiss – I end it quickly, pulling away and facing in the opposite direction as I attempt to hide my blush. "Bye," I add without looking at him, before cowardly running off – not wanting to see his reaction.

I stop at the safety behind a wall on the opposite side of the building, having to lean against it to stop me from falling over. My legs are shaking with giddiness and my heart is pounding in my chest frantically. Did I just kiss him? I can't believe it!

My lips are tingling. Even though it was such a brief kiss, it felt like it went through my whole body. His lips were warm and gentle. I hold my hands up to my chest to try and steady my heartbeat that seems to be going insanely fast. Argh, I feel like I'm about to have a heart-attack!

Not wanting Len to find me, I hurry home and try to forget the latter.

* * *

Closing my eyes, I inhale the sweet scent of flowers. There's a warm, calm feeling inside of me. It quivers and stirs when I think about him.

I don't know how long it's been and I don't _want _to know. I don't care. He doesn't like me in that way. So why do I sometimes even have that hope and think about waking up? I'll always be lonely, no matter what. It's the sad, bitter truth. Why bother opening my eyes and suffering when there's no point of my existence?

The wind blows gently across the valley in front of me. This place isn't real – there's clear evidence in every corner. Nothing is real. It's always day here. The weather is always perfect. I never feel hungry or have the urge to relieve myself. The seasons never change. This species of flowers does not thrive in this habitat. I never change clothes.

Yet I don't want to leave this place. It's a trap, I know, but it's better than waking up to discover that the guy you've liked ever since elementary school is now your best friend's boyfriend… Let alone, I won't be the same when I wake up. I won't be Rin anymore – I'm positive.

Rin will be left behind in this world, forgotten and lost. The new me will wake up and will know nothing. Rin shall disappear into nothingness and cease to exist. Rin will die. The darkness shall eat up her memories and her heart.

I sigh aloud unhappily. I shouldn't be so selfish, should I? I should keep supporting my friend's relationship. So, I refuse to wake up and lay a burden on them. _I don't want to wake up_. I'm _scared_. It's _scary_. It _hurts._ It hurts _so much_.

I walk through the slight over-grown grass that isn't populated by icky insects or dangerous animals. The colourful flowers below me quiver in the breeze. Bending over, I begin to hum as I pick some of the flowers and gather them. I guess I'll make another flower crown, like I did before – and before, and before. Though the flowers don't die in this place, I feel as if once I make a crown I can't use it more than once. So I leave it behind, just like my feelings for Len.

A noise that sounds close to a cough echoes from behind me. I don't know whether it's normal or not – sometimes, I might come close to the border where this place ends and reality starts, so I can hear noises from places not here. But I'm sure I'm not close to a border, so who would be coughing?

I turn my head quickly, expecting Mum to be standing there. She sometimes visits me. But she gets angry a lot and yells at me for not waking up. I usually just ignore her.

To my surprise, it isn't Mum – but _Len_. Or what looks like him, it just could be my imagination going haywire and slowly deteriorating with my body from the outside world. He glows in the sunlight and he's not smiling – but looks nervous. His face is a bit red, like he's sunburnt.

Eventually, Len breaks the silence between us. "H-hey, Rin-chan," he whispers. I can barely hear him, yet his voice echoes inside my head and makes my insides shiver with excitement. _He's just a hallucination, Rin… _I tell myself, though I don't want to believe it. "It's been a really long time, hasn't it?"

I love Len's voice. It's so clear and abundant. Hearing it, hearing _him_, it's comforting. Although I'm not sure whether he's real or not, I play along. I don't want him to disappear. "It has?" I ask, tilting my head to the side and forgetting entirely to greet him back with formality.

Len's lips curve into a sad smile, his cerulean gaze falling down to his feet. "Yeah, it has." He murmurs to the ground. I step closer so I can hear him more clearly. He looks up abruptly into my eyes, studying me. "How are you?" he asks carefully.

"I…" I hesitate, breaking our gaze and glancing over to the right. I can't tell him I'm absolutely devastated and that I hate myself. "I'm fine," I reply straightforwardly, my voice trembling. Len sighs, taking a step towards me.

"You're not, are you?" he mutters, his gaze burning into the side of my face. He can read me like a book. I guiltily look down at my hands and gulp.

"I'm really fine!" I yell, as if I'm trying to convince myself instead of him. Len reaches out and brushes a strand of hair away from my face, before tilting my head up with his hand to make my gaze meet his. I pull away, as much as I don't want to, and try to force my most believable smile onto my lips. "I'm perfectly happy!" I exclaim shakily, turning my back from him so he can't see my expression.

"Stop it, Rin-chan! You're _not _fine!" he raises his voice at me, grabbing my shoulder and turning me back to face him. "Don't you remember?" he asks me in a more gentle voice, looking into my eyes with desperation. Why does he care? Why…?

"Remember what?" I snap, closing my eyes. Remember my feelings for him? Remember the fact that I'm in a coma? _Remember the fact that he and Miku love each other? _

I hear Len sigh and I open my eyes. He looks so sad. Why? Did he and Miku break up already? "Don't you remember… saying that you wanted to see Miku-chan happy?" My insides turn cold.

_Len moves across the room towards me, sitting down in front of where I sat and crossing his legs. His gaze is on me – I could feel it burning into the top of my head. "Who is… your friend?" I frown as I suddenly became a bit annoyed._

"_I-" I snap a bit harshly, before hesitating and softening my tone a bit, "I have no intention of giving that information away to you yet." I look at him. He has a light blush on his cheeks and seems like he's deep in thought._

"_Then, what are your intentions?" I close my eyes and smile a bit._

"_I just want to see her happy." I draw lines into the carpet, "It'll make me happy."_

"She isn't happy, Rin-chan," Len tells me gently as he reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it. "Even if we're together… she's still upset… she wants to see you wake up. I want to see you wake up." I can feel his warm hand burning into mine.

I don't know how to reply. I stay silent, looking down at the ground and thinking. "If I wake up," I mumble, closing my fingers around his, "I'll just make Miku even sadder. I'll be a burden." My voice sounds surprisingly calm. Len's grip tightens.

"You won't." He tells me with a serious tone. "You won't be a burden. She wants to see you wake up, no matter what."

I shake my head stubbornly. "Len-kun, it's more complicated than you think! If _I _wake up, _I _have to deal with the consequences too. If _I _wake up, _I'll _most likely be not the same. I'll be the girl who _looks _like Rin, _but isn't_. Is that what you want?" My voice shakes again and my throat closes up, disabling me from arguing further.

"Of course not, Rin-chan! But Miku-chan and I will still accept you, no matter what! It's dangerous here; it's not going to make anything better, staying in this place. You have a whole _life _ahead of you, are you going to just give up that easily?" Len retorts, his voice growing louder.

"Yes!" I yell, tears pricking the back of my eyes. "Do I even have a life to live? What's the point of living… if… I-if…" I choke out a sob and pull my hand away. I reel away from Len and turn my back to him, hiding the tears that are running down my face.

We stand in silence for a few moments. Even though the atmosphere about us is dreary and regrettable, the sky is still blue, clear and sunny and the grass is still the luminescent green that hurts my eyes. It still keeps that pretty composure.

"Honestly…" I whisper, wiping my tears with the back of my hand and turning back to Len. He stares at me, eyes wide. "Why leave this place? Reality is sad, it's gross – it's full of jealousy and greed and sadness! I don't want to go back!" I shout, "This place… it's different…" I scoop up some flowers and throw them out into the wind.

Len doesn't say anything. He's silent, swallowing hard and watching me. "See, Len-kun?" my voice softens as I gesture to the scenery around me with a forced smile, "Everything is so beautiful here…"

"R-Rin-chan…" he mutters. Len gazes at me with a worried expression, his cheeks slowly turning red.

Even if it's beautiful, though, it still doesn't hide the hurt and jealousy in my heart. Miku is just so lucky to have her feelings returned, I guess she doesn't even realise it at times… I frown, the tears returning to my eyes. I'm just a selfish coward… why bother? Why bother waking up? I don't deserve a second chance. Why didn't I just die in the first place?

Tears fall down my cheeks. I don't try to hide it from Len now, although I feel guilty for making him have to see this. Does he know how much I cry? Even though the sun shines and this place is always so blissful, I still cry all the time. It's like the tears never stop.

"I'm so sorry…" I whisper, bowing my head down. It's so embarrassing, I feel so bad. I don't want Len to pity me. I don't want his pity. I just want him to be happy… even if it hurts terribly. "I'm so…" I stammer, choking on my sobs, "s-so…"

Len hasn't said anything so far. He's probably taken aback by my crying. He probably thinks it's disgusting. Once I regain my composure and take a deep breath, I try to evaluate and repeat what I said earlier. "If I wake up, god knows what I'll be like…" I say gently, "so… there's no point-"

"N-no!" Len interrupts, stepping forward and pulling me into his embrace. It takes me by surprise, I even stop crying. My face is burning and my heart starts to beat rapidly. What is he doing? Why is he hugging me? "R-Rin-chan, you won't be a burden. _I promise_. So you have to wake up. Please," he begs, squeezing me gently, "wake up…"

"L-Len-k-kun…" I choke out, "W-why are y-your beliefs s-so strong? W-why do you b-believe that?" I don't want Len to let go, so I hold him tightly back. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his warmth burning into my skin. I can hear his heartbeat, pounding against his chest in perfect rhythm.

"Because I want to see you smile, again, Rin-chan. I want to see you happy." He tells me, stroking my hair in a comforting way. "You always want to see others happy, but what about you? Don't die unhappy, Rin-chan. It's not worth it. Even though things seem impossible, just try your hardest – you'll get there, okay? I promise I'll be there to help you. I'll be waiting for you to wake up. I promise to look after you."

Silly Len, doesn't he know what he's promising? I can't help but smile sadly into his shirt. He's promising to help me to make him fall in love with me. After a while, Len's warmth disappears and I can feel the wind blowing against my skin once again.

When I open my eyes, Len is gone.

Somehow, my feet carry me through the field without instruction, to a destination not far off. '_Even though things seem impossible, just try your hardest – you'll get there, okay?' _Len's words echo in my head. My heart thrums in harmony as I rush through the grass. I want to see them again. I don't want to die this way.

I smile although there are tears in my eyes, fighting their way down my cheeks. If that's what he wants, then I'll be there. I'll try my best, even if I forget. Even if I can't even use my body like I used to, I'll never stop trying. Just to be with Len is everything I could ever want. I can't give up; I can't ignore these stupid feelings. I'm sorry Miku…

I halt right at the border. It's like an invisible sheet, completely transparent, showing me the other side. The other side is just the dream stretching on forever. But in the distance, I can see it… Len, Miku, Meiko, Luka, Gumi, Miki, Iroha… everyone, they're all waiting for me, right?

I suck in a deep breath, although I don't even need to. Here's the decision that changes everything.

* * *

I sit, perched on the edge of the couch, sighing impatiently. I'm bored beyond belief. There's no one here my age to talk to and there's nothing here to do to keep me busy. All I can do is mope about how I can't be with my friends and attempt at the awkward small talk with people at this party.

It's getting late, now, can't we go home already? Seriously, all my parents do is talk and waste time…

I pull out my phone and check the time on the screen. It reads as 10:30PM. We've been here since four o'clock. All I've done is sat here, eat a bit of dinner and play games on my phone. There's a small uproar from outside where all the adults sat, conversing.

"Oh, Kaito-kun is here!" Prima, one of Mum's friends, exclaims. I glance through the gap between the wall and the door to see that Prima's son, Kaito, had just arrived from his work shift and is talking to some of the adults. He's in high school, I think. We used to play games when we were younger. He isn't too bad, actually.

Kaito enters the house with a goofy grin, passing me on the couch in the lounge room. "Hey, Rin-chan!" he greets with a brief wave as he walks off down the hallway to his room.

"Hello, Kaito-kun," I reply with a small smile, trying my best to sound enthused. I look at my phone again and start to play a game of Hangman. A few minutes pass before he returns, dressed in some casual clothes instead of his work uniform.

"You look like you're having the time of your life, kid," he tells me as he flops down onto the couch beside me and turns on the TV, to start channel-flicking. I laugh, clicking back to the main menu on my phone. Kaito catches the wallpaper picture of Miku and me and whistles. "Oh, your friend there is pretty cute."

I feel like grimacing, throwing my hands in the air and screaming, "I know that already, don't remind me!" It's obvious Miku's really pretty, cute, perfect and _everything _– it's irritating. Instead, I force a smile and say, "Yeah."

Kaito notices my change of mood and frowns, scratching the top of his head. "I didn't say _you weren't_ cute, yourself, Rin-chan. But your friend…" he trails off when he sees my expression. I grimace at him, as if to say, _I get the idea, you don't need to speak anymore_. He sighs and looks back at the television screen. "Are you jealous, Rin-chan?" he asks, still frowning.

"_Jealous_?" I echo, folding my arms over my chest and sighing. I pretend to act as if I'm not, but I really am jealous of Miku. She's way prettier than me… and then… she…

_No, Rin, you don't like him anymore, right? _I ask myself in my head. _I don't like him. He was just a childhood crush. I don't like him anymore. I wouldn't mind if Miku and him got together. They'd obviously make a better couple, anyway. In fact, who is he again?!_

"-Rin-chan?" Kaito's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I glance up at him. "Did you just hear what I said? Are you jealous or not?" Why is it his business? Why does it matter to him? I purse my lips, averting my gaze to the side. "It's perfectly fine to be jealous, Rin-chan. But why?"

I sigh, breaking my façade. "Huh, she's just _better _than me in everything…" I mumble unhappily.

"Is there something that makes you jealous of her?" Kaito turns to me and smirks, holding a finger up. "A guy or something?" I hit Kaito across the head. Jeez! He's such a bonk-head, sometimes. Whenever I think he's trying to be nice, he's just being a typical teenage boy.

"Idiot! You're going to tease me, now, aren't you?" I snap. Kaito laughs and ruffles my hair, making it go messy.

"Huh, Rin-chan, I didn't think you'd be the type to get jealous." I threaten to hit him again and he ducks away, laughing. "Anyway, jealousy is fine! It's perfectly healthy. Just don't let it control you, but I know that won't happen, right?" I stare at him. Is he actually being serious? "Trust me, I don't blame you for being jealous. She looks like the good-at-everything type, which are hard to compete with – _I know_. But Rin-chan, you have to remember that you are who you are, so embrace it. Be the best you can be." Kaito smiles, leaning back against the couch.

I'm silent. I don't really know how to reply to that. I guess he has a point, right? I get jealous easily with Miku because she's such a pure, nice person and she happens to be pretty, smart and athletic all at the same time. Not to mention, she could have any guy she wants – although, she hasn't really realised that yet, fortunately.

Being the best I can be… I guess it's by making others happy. Who doesn't like people who can make others happy? I want to be that person. Even though I may not be the prettiest or the most talented girl in the world – I can still strive towards seeing other people smile.

"Thanks, Kaito-kun," I say after a while of silence. Kaito snorts.

"For what?" he asks.

"For being stupid,"

"It's the best I can do for jealous females." Kaito got a punch in the arm.

Mum walks into the lounge room, arm in arm with Dad. She smiles breezily. "Oh, Rin! We're going now." She says. _Finally_, I think with a sigh as I stand up from the couch. Mum spots Kaito sitting beside me. "Ah… are you two getting close?" Mum nudges me and winks. I blush, shaking my head.

"N-no!" I yelp, covering my face in embarrassment. I hate it when she automatically assumes I'm hooking up with a guy when I talk to one. According to my friends, though, it's something that all parents do, unfortunately…

Kaito rolls his eyes. "No, she's just beating me up, as she does." Mum laughs and shakes her head at me.

"Well then. Say goodbye, Rin." She instructs, waving a goodbye to Kaito and walking off with Dad. I sigh and roll my eyes when they're gone.

"See you later," I say briefly with a small wave.

"See you, bunny-chan." He replies with his goofy grin. I poke my tongue at him. _Bunny-chan? _I think, _what sort of terrible nickname is that?_

After saying our goodbyes to everyone else, my parents and I head off to the car. I'm glad that that's finally over – I thought we'd never leave. It's a bit rude of me to be saying that, but it's not like I wanted to be there in the first place.

"Wasn't so bad, was it, Rin-chan?" Dad asks as I buckle up the seatbelt. The car revs to life. I shrug.

"It was bad," I reply bluntly, frowning. Mum shakes her head at my words, but doesn't look back as she is driving – and I'd rather she look at the road than at me.

"Oh, Rin! You loved it. You got to see Kaito-kun!" she exclaims with a big grin on her face. I make a frustrated grunt and fold my arms over my chest. Mum likes to think I love Kaito. I don't. He's… nice and all, but just not my 'type'. Kaito's too… buoyant. And I've known him since I was five. It's just...

"You wish!" I protest, pouting. Mum laughs and continues to tease me about Kaito. She knows it's annoying me, so now she's purposely doing it. Dad's laughing as well, but at the same time attempting to try and slip in a few things about boys and _that stuff_… (Which I know about by the way, so I don't understand why he's telling me when he knows I already know)

We stop at the red light at an intersection. I gaze out the window at the empty streets and the black night sky, watching as a light drizzle of rain coats the area. Rain is so comforting. It makes me feel like sleeping – and the smell of the environment after it rains is refreshing.

I rest my head against the window, sighing. My eyelids are drooping heavily – I'm falling asleep and it's not even eleven o'clock. Jeez, being bored must be really draining, I guess. Now I understand why Gumi always sleeps through Geography. Ha.

There's a loud screech that jolts me back to reality and I turn my head to see headlights from another vehicle ahead that's approaching towards us at a rapid speed. The car swerves to avoid it, but there's an insanely loud _bang_, as well as a shriek. It pierces my ears. My heart is pounding insanely against my chest. Everything horrifying just happens at once. Something penetrates my side sharply. It _hurts_. I squeeze my eyes shut in panic and agony. I'm jerked forward with an invisible force, my organs being flung forward and my head striking something rigid.

From there, everything goes black.

* * *

I open my eyes to a white and very bright light that burns. At first, everything is blurry, so I blink a few times and let the scenery sink in. I'm in a room with pasty, white walls and one small window. Someone is standing beside me quietly, watching intently. I turn my head to the side with great difficulty to try to see who it is.

A familiar woman gazes down at me with her clear, cerulean eyes. She has long, golden hair swept to one side. The lady smiles at me gently, but her eyes look sad. "Don't give up," she whispers, squeezing my hand, "you still have a bright future ahead of you."

* * *

_djfdkflshfksfdjsf so Rin woke up! Yay! 8D_

_By the way, this isn't the last chapter - although it seems like it. I'm not that mean. :D_

_Gah, so now you all know how Rin got in a coma in the first place. It's hard describing that sort of situation, since I've never been in one... er... I've only been in a situation sort of like that once (but wasn't worth worrying about, it was just a terrible illusion... still scared the living daylights out of me ;A;)_

_**TIME FOR REVIEW REPLIES!**  
_

_Lynn 'Ne'-chan - Haha, sorry about the long sentences... XD Yes, Lily was stalking Len. hahahaha. Well here's how Rin got into her coma! Thanks for the review!_

_Reinette-Cat - Wah, thank you! ; _; I don't think so myself, but that's maybe because I'm too hard on myself orz|| I'm glad you love the personalities for each character! Len is quite a fun character to write. FDJKSDHSDKJHSD thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this update! TAT_

_Splendence - XDDD Nooo don't cry! -gives tissues- Slowest always wins the race though, right?! Yay~ Thank you so much for the kind review! ^_^_

_Mitsu - Haha, yes, I'm sorry about that! DX Yeah, I guess it worked too! I'll try not to make it happen... -looks around suspiciously- Their friendship is quite cute, although, it'll probably change now with Rin being jealous -cough cough- Thank you for the review! :D I hope you enjoyed this update too!_

_bluefang62 - Maybe, maybe~~ =w=b Hope you liked this chapter, thanks so much for the review! ^^_

_Saph - Yes, Len is quite slow and stubborn. I love writing him. He's... admittedly, quite stupid. -face palms- I'm sure he will, right? And yes, Rin doesn't think she's all too good-looking herself, but that's because she compares herself to Miku too much and feels insecure ^^;; I don't blame your Mum for doing that, it's unhealthy ahah XD Aw, I wish I had that luck, I try to be early but I always end up late. Every time! I'm starting to get in trouble with my teacher now! D: Mothers are the best things out there, apart from Dads~ =w= I hope you liked what happened in this chapter, if it turned out the way you wanted(?)  
A pacer is a mechanical pencil. It looks like a pen, but you get lead re-fills instead of having to sharpen it all the time. It's quite common to be used in Japan.  
And I really enjoy your long replies too! XD Hahahaha, yay! And yeah, it is about 8,800+ words ^^ (that's like the most I've written for any chapter D: Eek!) Thank you so much for the kind review! ^^_

_Guest (posted on 8/7/12) - Of course not! I still have a few more chapters to go. Thanks for the review~_

_Random science fact: ...I don't have one this time DX -needs to research some more-_

_Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter, thanks!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Ack, it's been forever since I last updated! I'm sorry DX_

_Here's the next (sloppy) chapter that wasn't really worth all the wait._

_Review replies at the bottom!_

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

I wake up, as expected.

The room is different from the one I usually wake up in. I remember the nurse stating, last time I was conscious, that since my test results have mainly come back fine that I'll be moved into a different room. I don't mind that; now I'm positioned beside a window that overlooks a park.

The bed has been adjusted so I can sit up and see what's happening below. Outside, the sky is grey and the ground is covered with a white, thick blanket of snow. Children are running around in it, making snowmen and having snowball fights. I sigh. I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that again.

My eyes meander back to the plain, white walls. I don't remember how long I've been here for. It's sort of hazy and distant. I know I'm unwell, but I can't remember why. Apparently, as I overheard a discussion between a doctor and a nurse once, I'm suffering from amnesia.

It scares me.

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the soft pillow. Really, the last memory I have is from the start of the year – perhaps January, maybe. Amnesia occurs in people when they have a terrible head injury. Maybe that's why I'm here. Yet, what could I have gotten a head injury from?

My fingers curl around the white sheets draped over the top percentage of my body. I have all these wires stuck into me. I don't like the sight of needles, so it makes me feel queasy when I look at my arms. I asked the nurse about it and she said that when I show signs of more recovery, they'll remove them. When'll that happen?

In the very few hours I've been awake, I haven't seen any visitors. Maybe they aren't allowed – but I'm fine now, so I don't understand that. When I first woke up, I was scared and confused since I didn't know why I was in hospital. I still don't know. I'd rather not know, sometimes.

Was there something I'm supposed to remember? Or something I'm supposed to do? I feel that way at times and it frustrates me. Is there someone I'm supposed to meet? All the people I've met so far are doctors and nurses. They're nice, but I don't think they're what I'm seeking.

I could have been asleep for every time someone has visited me. I do sleep a lot. The nurse said it's okay though, since I need to rest to recover. I sigh again, opening my eyes and gazing back out the window. But my attention is drawn away from it as I hear the soft click of the door opening.

I turn my head slowly and see it's the nurse. Of course, there's someone behind her. "Oh, Rin-chan, you're awake." She says with a small smile, letting a boy into the room. He's tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He looks terribly familiar. My mind takes a few moments to recall who he is. "You're in luck, Kagamine-kun," the nurse adds hastily to the boy before disappearing out of the room, leaving him with me, alone.

At first, I'm struck with confusion. Although I'm actually _over the moon_ about this person being here, I don't understand why he would be visiting me. I'm sure he didn't actually classify us as friends – and how did he know I was in hospital?

I stare as Kagamine Len, my crush from elementary school, smiles at me and takes a seat in the chair beside my bed. This room is much smaller than the other one – not that I mind, but it just hasn't got a large couch, only a small, measly chair purposed for possibly one visitor at a time.

That strange, fluttery feeling starts in my chest again. I can feel my face begin to heat up. Why is he here? We haven't talked since graduation, over two years ago – right? The room is awkwardly silent and I have no idea what I'm supposed to say. I never do. But I'm happy he's here.

Len clears his throat and pulls something out from his coat – a small present. My eyes widen as he holds it out to me. Am I supposed to take it? I look at Len and back at the parcel. Len nods, pushing it at my hands. Nervously, I grasp it and hold it there, not knowing with what it's for or what I'm supposed to do with it. I'm so hopeless.

"T-this?" I squeak, my voice coming out hoarse. I clear my throat and swallow. "W-what is this? Is it Christmas already?" I ask in worry, glancing at Len. He's still smiling and there's a light pink hue upon his cheeks.

He chuckles, looking down at his hands. "Rin-chan, Christmas was two weeks ago." He advises gently, not looking up. "This is a belated birthday and Christmas present. Sorry it's late. You overslept a bit." Overslept a bit? What does he mean by that? I know I have been unconscious for quite a while, but did I ever promise him to wake up before Christmas?

"Huh?" I mumble, fondling the rectangular present in my hand, "Thank you, Len-kun. I'm very appreciative of this." I tell him. Am I supposed to open it, now? Len looks up from his hands and stares at me for a moment, as if expecting me to say more.

Wait a second… how did Len know it was my birthday? Hmm, maybe he just remembered from those very few days in elementary school when the class sang happy birthday to me. Then again, I remember Len being sung to, too – on the same day.

My eyes widen at my sudden stupidity. "Oh!" I yelp, leaning forward from realisation and Len jumps up in reaction, a worried expression crossing his face. "I'm so sorry! It was your birthday, too, right? Yeah, it was! Happy birthday! Happy birth-" I run out of breath all too quickly and end up having to take deep breaths in the middle of the sentence. I fall back against the pillow.

"Rin-chan!" Len exclaims, rushing to my side. "Rin-chan, are you okay?" He goes to press the button for help but I manage to catch my breath back and stop him with my hand.

"I'm fine!" I insist, smiling. His worry for me is cute. It makes me feel warm inside.

"Crap!" he hisses, frowning. "You gave me a fright, Rin-chan! You're still unwell, you can't get excited like that yet-" Len stops babbling when I start to laugh. I feel so happy, seeing Len like this. I used to see him cry all the time, but now he seemed so loud and lively. It's a good change – his worry is even enlightening.

I giggle as Len's expression changes from anxious to confused. "Rin-chan… what's so funny?" he asks, taking a seat again.

"I'm happy," I say gently, holding the present to my chest, "to see you like this, Len-kun. I don't like to see you unhappy, so laugh, okay?" I beam at him and Len's eyebrows meet in the middle of his forehead.

"You're still the same old Rin-chan," he mutters, face-palming. Len reaches out and squeezes my hand. "Stay that way, okay?" he asks with a gentle smile, "I don't want you to be any different." My heart rate quickens and I can feel my cheeks slowly heating up again.

Len is so nice. His smile makes me feel warm inside, his presence makes me feel comforted and protected. He must consider me as a friend, right? I hope he does. After all, he's going out of his way to visit me in hospital and to give me a birthday present.

"I'm sorry I missed our birthday," I mumble after a minute of silence. "I missed everyone's, terribly enough. I guess I'll have to go shopping when I get out of hospital. I feel so bad." I sigh, frowning. Len shakes his head and chuckles.

"You don't need to do that, Rin-chan. I'm sure everyone understands." He tells me.

"But-" I protest, but he reaches over and covers my mouth with his hand.

"No. Everyone's been worrying about you. I think the last thing they're thinking about is the fact that you still owe them a birthday present. How about thinking of recovering, first?" Len gives me a serious look that makes me want to stop arguing. I look down at the present I held in my hands.

"Can I open this?" I ask, holding it up to him. Len nods.

"If you want to," he states, turning a bit pink in the cheeks. I smile and carefully begin to unwrap the present, not wanting to ruin the paper – it's pretty orange, yellow and white, striped wrapping paper. When I remove the wrapper fully, it reveals a box that has a picture of a mug on it.

I open the box with curiosity, to reveal a cute orange polka-dot mug. "O-oh!" I squeal, staring at it in delight. How did he know I like orange? "It's so cute! So cute! I love it so much! Thank you so much, Len-kun!" I look at Len. Len has a scarlet face and he's smiling at me.

"Y-you're welcome," he stammers, looking away in embarrassment. "I'm glad you like it," he adds.

"Of course I do! I'll use it every day when I get out of hospital! This'll be great to have orange and chamomile tea in~" I point out, my mouth watering at the thought of the tea. I'm craving it right now. "Len-kun, you must be psychic or something to know orange is one of my favourite colours!"

Len looks at me with a strange expression. I fall silent. Did I just offend him or something? I panic and begin to wave my arms around. "I mean-! You know-! It was just a metaphor; I didn't mean it in an offensive way or something!" I splutter, gasping for air.

Len's expression changes to a grin and he shakes his head. "It's okay, Rin-chan, I wasn't offended by it. Don't worry about it." He ruffles my hair gently, making me blush. "Anyway, you must be getting tired, right? All this talking…" he trails off, gazing at me.

I shrug and stifle a yawn. "Now that you mention it," I sigh, "I am pretty tired." Len nods understandably and stands up. Oh, so he's leaving already? "But I'm still okay enough to keep talking!" I add, feeling bad. Len laughs at me.

"No, it's better if you get rest, Rin-chan. Otherwise you won't recover. We can always talk another time," he tells me as he heads off to the exit.

"Wait!" I cry and he pauses, just about to open the door. "C-can you come here?" I ask, feeling my cheeks flush. He won't mind, right? It's just a thank you… anyway! Len walks back over to the bedside, looking concerned.

"What is it, Rin-chan?" he asks carefully, peering down at me. Hastily, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to my level, pecking him lightly on the cheek. I let go and Len springs away from me. His face is beetroot red, but he looks shocked and worried at the same time.

"Uh, um-" I say nervously, not knowing whether his reaction is good or not, "t-thank you for visiting me." Len stays silent, staring at me with an abnormal expression on his face. Oh no. This isn't good. My chest tightens and a hard lump grows in my throat, making it difficult to speak.

"I-I'm s-sorry, is t-that wrong?" I stammer, feeling guilt. I forgot that he probably still likes Miku. And Miku likes him… "I didn't m-mean it in t-that way! P-please don't hate me!" I cry. Len blinks and shakes his head slowly.

"It's fine, Rin-chan, I know. It's just-" he goes to say something, but pauses, rethinking his words. It's just _what_? "Never mind," he mutters, heading back to the door. "Don't worry about it." He waves a brief goodbye and disappears, leaving me alone.

Oh no! I've done something wrong, haven't I? I just ruined it! Stupid me! Stupid feelings! I can feel the tears rush to my eyes. _It's not the same, Rin! You silly bonk-head! _I tell myself as I fall back against the pillows, the tears beginning to cascade down my cheeks. I sniffle, wiping them off with the back of my hand. _You're teenagers now! A kiss like that obviously means more._

I close my eyes and wish that had never happened.

* * *

I remember waking up a few times after Len's visit. But I always went back to sleep when I remembered what had happened. I feel horrible. I'm still stuck in this stupid love triangle. I wish I could just erase my feelings for him. I don't like it.

Again, I'm in the familiar room with white walls. I check out the window to see it is day again and there's still snow on the ground – a bit more than last time. There are still children playing in the park with their parents and having fun in the snow. I sigh longingly.

"R-Rin-chan?" someone calls from behind and I turn my head sharply to see Miku. I'm surprised I didn't notice her sitting there in the chair beside the bed when I woke up. She gazes at me with worried turquoise eyes. "You still remember me, right?" she asks warily.

How could I forget Miku? "Of course, Miku-chan!" I exclaim, beaming at her. Miku exhales in relief and grins back.

"Welcome back!" she greets, pulling me into a friendly hug. "Jeez, Rin-chan, I'd thought you'd never wake up! Every other time I visited you, you were asleep. I was thinking that you didn't want to see me or something!" I feel guilty at her last words. I didn't really want to see her now, I was expecting Len… but then again, why would Len visit me after what I did?

"I'm sorry!" I squeak after we pull away. "I've done that with everyone, haven't I?" Miku giggles, nodding.

"Yeah, Rin-chan, Miki-tan, Luka-chan, Meiko-san, Gumi-chan and even Iroha-chan have visited you throughout the last two weeks but you've been asleep…" she points out with a casual smile. I feel so bad.

"Aw, no…" I mumble, starting to brood.

"Oh, Rin-chan- But- We all understand you need to rest! You'll see them again some other time!" Miku exclaims, waving her hands in a _no, no, no_ gesture. "Honestly, don't worry about it. They forgive you already." She gives me a cheesy smile and thumbs-up.

"Okay…" I sigh, not sounding the least bit convinced. "Tell them that I said hi." I add quietly, looking down at my hands.

"Sure, they'd love to hear from you! Anyway, how are you feeling?" Miku chirps happily, clasping her hands in front of her chest. I smile at her enthusiasm. Miku's always such a happy person. I wish I could be that sort of person, too.

"Hmm? Ah, better than before." I admit, gazing out the window at the children in the park. I glance back at Miku who's perched on the edge of the seat, waiting for more. "But if you mean my memories, I really can't remember anything except from last winter break." I add calmly. She sighs unhappily, sagging back into the chair.

"Oh, so you don't remember the accident or anything…" she mutters, tapping her chin in thought. Accident? Is she talking about how I got into hospital?

"No. Can you tell me what happened?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. Miku shakes her head and smiles sadly at me.

"Sorry, Rin-chan, I promised the nurse I wouldn't say anything yet. You need to recover a bit more. You're still emotionally unstable and confused, so… it would be more difficult for you to understand…" she explains gently, squeezing my hand. I knew they wouldn't tell me.

"I understand," I mumble, staring up at the white ceiling above our heads. "How are you, anyway? What have I missed out?" I decide to change the subject since the atmosphere is too sympathetic and depressing.

"I'm fine, Rin-chan- Actually, I have some news to tell you." Miku tries to look serious, but you can tell she's excited for the next thing she's going to say. "You know, Len-kun…" she starts quietly. I lean forward, raising my eyebrow in interest at the mention of Len's name.

"Len-kun?" I echo, "Kagamine Len from elementary school?"

Miku nods, her turquoise eyes twinkling. "Yes, h-he…" she whispers, blushing, "…asked me out around my birthday _andnowweareboyfriendandgirlf riend_-"

"I'm sorry? Can you repeat that slower?" I ask, feeling a sour taste in my mouth. Did I just hear her say boyfriend in that mash of mutter? My heart grows heavy and I feel terrible all of a sudden. Don't tell me…

"Len-kun is now my boyfriend, Rin-chan!" she exclaims, her face exploding a cherry red. Miku starts to eagerly ramble on about the topic, but I tune out. I have this hollow, hurting feeling inside of me which I can't describe. I feel like crying, but really… I should be happy for Miku, right?

That explains why Len went all weird when I kissed him last time. Because he and Miku are now a couple, and then I came along and threatened to destroy it. Big fat tears of guilt and jealousy start to roll down my cheeks and Miku notices this, pausing in the middle of her sentence.

She widens her eyes. "R-Rin-chan?!" she exclaims, grabbing my shoulders and looking at me with a worried expression. I choke a sob and look away remorsefully, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry, do you like Len-kun, Rin-chan?" she asks, "Or are you hurt?" I shake my head stubbornly, feeling my face heat up.

"N-no! I-I'm fine!" I lie, wiping my eyes quickly with the back of my hand. "I-I'm j-just happy for you!" I felt guilt-ridden saying such a _wrong _lie, claiming that I was happy for her. I'm _not _happy. I'm miserable. It's terrible. Miku relaxes back into her chair and sighs.

"Oh… you worried me just then…" she mumbles, frowning, "I'm sorry. I guess you really _are _emotionally unstable. I shouldn't have told you that yet." Miku starts to gather her things, but pauses, before pulling something out of her bag. It was my iPod. I stare, totally confused, as she hands it to me with a small smile.

"I guess it must get boring for you, sitting here all the time, right? So I brought this along with me. Now you can listen to music and not get bored out of your brains." She chuckles and brushes her teal hair aside.

"Oh," I squeak, feeling the familiar, cold and heavy object in my hand. "T-thank you," I mumble, looking down. I don't really know what to feel. I'm sad, guilty and happy all at the same time. I glance up at Miku who's slowly making her way to the door. "You're leaving?"

Miku nods sadly. "I can't stay too long, Rin-chan. You need to rest some more. I'll visit again, don't worry." She waves at me and grins, slinging her bag over her right shoulder.

"Oh, bye, then," I reply softly.

"Bye," Miku replies and disappears through the door.

I switch on my iPod, put my earphones in and start listening to my favourite songs.

* * *

"So, Rin-chan, let's go for a walk today." Miku chirps when she visits me a few weeks later. _Weeks_, yes, _weeks_ – I'm slowly getting better and I have seen her a few other times, but this time I'm well enough to walk with her around the hospital (and outside if I don't get too tired).

Lately, I've been getting rehabilitation since the 'accident' made me quite disorientated and being stuck in a bed for seven months straight is not good for your body strength. Walking was difficult at first, but now I can walk for five minutes straight at a regular speed without stopping.

"Where to?" I ask back, carefully sitting up in the bed. There are fewer wires connected to me now, so I can move easily around. She aids me by bringing one of the machine-like things around to the other side of the bed so I can stand up and not rip a needle out of my arm (which will probably hurt, mind you).

"Hmm, let's try the park. Do you think you can do it?" she asks as she helps me off the bed and steadies my body as I stand up. _Outside? The park? _I think, glancing over at the window.

"Wouldn't it be too cold? I'm naked under this… thing…" I gesture to my hospital gown. Miku snorts and grins, turning to her bag that is neglected on the ground. She holds up her hand in a 'stay' motion to me.

"I asked the nurse earlier, she said it's OK for you to wear some normal clothes outside. So I went to your house – with permission – and brought a few winter clothes with me today. See?" she explains, pulling out some clothes from her bag and holding them up in front of me.

Miku certainly knows my favourite outfits. In front of me she held two comfortable knitted sweaters, my best coat, warm pants, socks, etc. I'm glad Miku has gone out of her way to do this for me. "Oh," I sigh, stroking one of the knit sweaters with my fingers, "thank you Miku-chan. I really appreciate this." I beam at her to prove it.

Miku laughs, setting the clothes down on the bed. "Now which ones?" she asks, putting her hands on her hips and staring thoughtfully at the clothing set out in front of us. I chew my bottom lip in thought, deciding over whether I would wear the white sweater with the bow or the orange one with the deer.

"Mm…" I hum, choosing the white one – I can always wear the orange one another day – and moving it over to a pair of jeans. I grab the checked orange scarf, with my matching white bear beanie and gloves and place them alongside the outfit-in-the-making. I finish it off with the coat and my orange 'moonboots'. Miku stares at the creation and taps her chin.

"Very much like you," she admits with a grin, looking up at me. "I approve." She gives me two thumbs-up before grabbing the clothes. At that moment, the nurse walks in with a notepad tucked under one arm.

"Oh, Hatsune-san, are you taking her outside?" she asks, glancing at me in concern before signalling to the clothes Miku held in her hand. Miku blushes, going silent and nodding down to her feet. The nurse looks at me with a frown. "Are you feeling well enough to go, Rin-chan?"

"Of course!" I exclaim – too excited to worry about my health. The nurse sighs, placing her clipboard down on the table nearby.

"How do you expect to go far with that, Rin-chan?" she asks, walking over to me and pointing at the machine that is injected into my arm. Oh, right, travelling with this over an uneven terrain would be difficult. I notice Miku's face fall, as if she assumes we can't go now.

"Ah…" I make a sound of disappointment, gazing down at the floor.

The nurse sits me down on the bed. "How long do you two plan on going?" she asks, again, to Miku and me. Miku sits in the chair beside the bed and looks at me.

"Not very long, I know Rin-chan can't exercise too much because she'll get tired easily." Miku admits unhappily, starting to pack away my clothes already. The nurse presses her lips together and looks at the machine readings.

"If Rin-chan really wants to go, I can arrange a wheelchair. I don't think Rin-chan is ready enough yet to walk that distance – maybe until this machine is unplugged." She explains carefully, picking up her clipboard and writing down something onto the paper. When Miku doesn't reply, the nurse looks back at her and raises an eyebrow. "Is that alright, Hatsune-san?"

Miku smiles and nods briefly. "It's fine by me. What about you, Rin-chan?" she asks, waiting for my input of the nurse's idea.

"I don't mind." I state quietly, feeling slight disappointment. "But that still means I can go to the park, right?" I ask carefully, glancing at the nurse.

"Yes," she replies, already heading to the door. "I'll go and get the wheelchair. I'll be about ten minutes, so get Rin-chan changed, please, Hatsune-san." With that, the nurse exits. Miku looks at me and shrugs, smiling sympathetically.

"Maybe next time you can walk, Rin-chan," she points out, gathering my clothes. "Come on, now." Miku leads me to the bathroom. It feels weird wearing winter clothes after wearing a hospital gown for so long. But it isn't a bad weird, it's a good weird. I'm happy I can do this and finally go outside for once.

The nurse returns with the wheelchair, which she sets up for me and helps me get comfortable in. She gives a quick lecture to Miku about being careful, which I'm sure Miku will do, before leaving.

Miku turns to me and sighs, clasping her hands in front of her. "Ah, Rin-chan, if you don't mind, I asked Len-kun to come along just before. He's waiting downstairs in the lobby." She tells me as she starts to wheel me down the hallway and past a few other people.

Len? Here? In the lobby? My heart does a strange double-flip, before I remember his last visit and suddenly don't know whether I want to see him or not. "Rin-chan? Is that okay?" Miku asks when I don't reply. We were in the elevator now, slowly descending to the first level.

"I-it's fine," I mutter, noticing my hands had broken out into a nervous sweat. The elevator doors open with the familiar _ding_ and she wheels me out into the open lobby with a sigh. There, sitting on the couches against the wall in the far corner, is Len. I can feel my face turning a scarlet red on sight of him, remembering the kiss… and…

Len jumps up, grinning, before stalking over to us and giving Miku a kiss on the cheek. I have to look away, grimacing. It is almost like he's reminding me of my horrible mistake. I don't realise Miku calling my name, since I seem to be entirely engrossed about worrying, until she walks around to face me with a concerned look on her face.

"A-ah, Rin-chan, are you feeling alright? Would you like to go back and do this another day? It's fine if you're feeling unwell, I don't mind." She says, taking off her glove and putting a hand up to my forehead to measure my temperature.

I shake my head stubbornly and force a smile. "I'm fine, I was just thinking."

"You had a painful expression on your face, though," Miku points out.

"I was thinking about needles." I lie with a blunt tone. Miku exhales and puts her glove back on, turning to Len. "Hello, Len-kun," I add, trying to change the subject before Miku starts to bicker with me. Len looks reasonably surprised at that I greeted him.

"Hi, Rin-chan, how are you?" he asks, raking his fingers through his hair casually. I stare up into his cerulean eyes, feeling my chest tighten. I hate this.

"I'm fine," I reply calmly, glancing back down to my hands. "And you?"

Len sighs. "Not too bad, actually," The conversation ends there, leaving the three of us in silence as Miku starts to wheel me out the doors of the hospital and into the bitter, frozen air. It nips at my cheeks… but it feels nice to be finally getting fresh air for once.

I close my eyes and enjoy the brief feeling of freedom. Hopefully, I should be out of here within the next month. Then, I can walk with Miku and Len without having to be pushed around like an infant in a pram.

"Rin-chan, are you enjoying it?" Miku's voice asks me and I snap my eyes open. We were already strolling in the path, past the children and their parents, and the young couples holding hands. I glance up at Len who is keeping an even pace with the wheelchair and Miku. He smiles down at me, before looking away over at the frozen lake on the other side.

"Yes. It's pretty," I admit, looking at the amount of snow around the place. I wish I could have a snow fight. Maybe I can? I look at Len who's now ahead of us, before turning to Miku and gesturing for her to lean in. "Can I throw a snowball at Len-kun?" I whisper, pointing at Len in the lead. Miku giggles and reels the wheelchair to the side, where the snow has been swept into a pile to keep the pathway clear.

She bends over and scoops the ice up, handing it to me. It feels hard and cold through my gloves, but I like it. I carefully shape and form the ball, before positioning my body in a stance, igniting I'm ready to throw. I nod at Miku and she nods back, before turning to Len who's stopped to look at a sign just ahead.

"Ne, Len-kun!" she calls, gaining his attention. Len glances up at us, to only be smacked in the face with a snowball. Miku and I burst into laughter as he frowns and wipes his face free of the wet snow, shaking it out of his hair.

"Not funny!" he points out as he strides over, but he's smiling too. My insides grow warm at his smile. It's so sincere… so cute… Len bends over, scoops up some snow and moulds it into the round shape – before throwing it at Miku. Miku squeals, quickly bustling to scoop up snow and get him back.

I watch as Miku and Len start to peg snowballs at each other, laughing. I find myself smiling with them, although I have this gaping hole in my chest that hurts. My fingers curl around the end of my coat and dig into the soft fabric, attempting to take the pain out on it.

"Oh, Rin-chan?" someone gasps and I turn my head quickly to see Shion Kaito, Prima's son. He looks surprised to see me. "Why are you out of hospital?" he asks, frowning in concern. This is weird…

"Eh? My friends took me out for a walk." I reply, nodding over at Miku and Len who were now rolling in the snow childishly. Kaito raises an eyebrow in amusement. I glance down at my body, acknowledging I'm in a wheelchair. "Well, it was going to be a walk, but the nurse said I'm too weak." I admit with a sheepish smile.

"So you're feeling better?" he inquires, examining the young couple playing in the snow. "I would visit you, but lately I've been busy with work. I only just got off my shift for today," he gestures to his clothes – the work uniform – and sighs.

"It's fine," I say quickly, "and yes, I am feeling better, actually. I hope I can get out of hospital by the next month…" I trail off as Len and Miku start walking over, brushing the snow from each other's hair and grinning. Len takes Miku's hand in his, pulling her close to him.

"Ah, Rin-chan, who's this?" Miku asks when she notices Kaito standing next to me, watching them approach. Kaito beams and holds out his hand to Miku.

"I'm Shion Kaito," he introduces himself formally. Miku blushes – or it could just be from the cold – and nervously shakes his hand before snatching hers away and looking down with an embarrassed giggle. "I'm a family friend." he adds, glancing at me.

"A family friend?" Len butts in, trying to defend his girlfriend. "I'm Kagamine Len and this is my _girlfriend_, Hatsune Miku. We're Rin-chan's friends." I almost laugh at the way Len shoves his hand in Kaito's face and tries to sneak a handshake out of him.

"Oh? Nice to meet you, Kagamine-san and Hatsune-san," Kaito replies calmly, being oblivious to Len's jealousy as he shakes Len's hand. Len frowns, wrapping his arm around Miku's waist protectively. "So, Rin-chan, this is your pretty friend you were talking about, right – at the party?" Kaito points to Miku who literally _does _blush to the shade of a tomato. A vein pops in Len's head.

I tilt my head in confusion. "What party?" I've been to a lot of parties, he could be more specific.

Miku and Len exchange panicked glances and withdraw Kaito from earshot to say something to him. I only overhear very minute parts of the conversation when Kaito raises his voice in alarm. "Memory loss… amnesia… car… head injuries… don't… party…"

Huh? What does a car and not partying have to do with memory loss? I frown at them as they walk back over, smiling shadily. "Uh, I'm very sorry about that Rin-chan. I forgot you have amnesia. Don't worry about it." Kaito says quickly, bowing several times before checking his wristwatch. "Anyway, I have to go now. Bye Rin-chan, pretty girl and her jealous boyfriend!" Kaito waves and rushes off before we even get to reply.

I hear Len sigh and I glance over to see him frowning at Miku's blushing face. "Don't worry about him," I say and Len looks at me, "he's an idiot." I smile uneasily at Len and he smiles back, though he has a worried look in his eyes.

"Ah, Kaito-kun's quite nice, actually." Miku points out with a dreamy sigh as we start to walk back towards the hospital. Len folds his arms over his chest and grimaces. Though this is sort of good in a way, I feel sorry for Len. Kaito _is _attractive; he _is _older and more… manly-looking. Len is attractive too, but he is just… a tad feminine. Plus, Miku is his girlfriend and she's blushing at another guy. That's sort of uncool, to be honest.

"Really," I say with a huff, "he's quite annoying. He usually calls me 'Bunny-chan' and pulls my hair. Also, he's a bit of a pervert. Yuck!" I poke out my tongue and Miku giggles, before looking at Len.

"Is something wrong, Len-kun?" she asks politely.

Len shakes his head, folding his arms over his chest. "No, nothing's wrong." he replies. Miku frowns at him in concern, before turning back to me.

"There's something wrong, isn't there?" she questions me in a lower voice. I can see Len scowling in the background as she is asking _me _what's wrong although he just insisted nothing was wrong.

I open my mouth to say something, but hesitate. I shouldn't tell her Len's jealous, so, what do I say? "Maybe something is wrong, Miku-chan, but maybe Len-kun doesn't feel like talking about it right now." I state quietly.

Miku's frown intensifies and she sighs. "Well, I can't do anything about it if I don't know what's wrong." she announces. She sounded a bit hurt.

The rest of our walk back to the hospital is in a brooding silence.

* * *

Len followed us up to my room and helped a bit. But he was still sulking. I think he's pretty unhappy about earlier – and how Miku is too dense to notice.

Miku has gone to get some coffee (since when did she drink that?) from the cafeteria, leaving Len and I to sit in an awkward silence. A voice in my head says, _Okay, Rin, here's your chance! Apologise to him and everything will be alright! _…we can't assume things like that every day, though.

Len seems to be avoiding my gaze. If he felt uncomfortable being here, why did he stay? His eyes are kept on the window, his expression blank. He seems to be deep in thought. I bite down on my lip nervously, wondering whether I should interrupt him or not.

Eventually, I sum up the courage – if I don't do it now, I might never get to do it. Who knows what could happen next? I could die tomorrow and never get the chance. "I-I'm sorry." I squeak, my voice coming out softer than expected. Len pulls his gaze away from the window and looks at me, a confused expression crossing his face.

"Pardon?"

Okay, so he didn't hear me at first. It's okay, though… I can do it. Yeah, Rin, you can do it! I clear my throat and take a deep breath to calm myself. Jeez, when did I turn so cowardly? "I'm sorry about the… er, before…" I mumble, feeling my face burst into flames. "You know… I didn't know you and Miku-chan were…" my voice trails off into the silence.

Len stares at me with a frown as I hesitate, not wanting to admit they were – 'a couple'. "…boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm sorry. I didn't know. It was me being rash and I should've thought before I did anything. It- the kiss didn't mean anything literal. It was… just a thank you." I'm exhausted after one apology. I sigh and close my eyes, leaning back in the bed. "I think I'm losing my mind." I admit quietly.

I hear Len stand and open my eyes to see him by the bedside, gazing at me. The corners of his lips turn up into a smile. "It's fine. I understand. Sorry I reacted that way… it just surprised me." he replies, reaching out to squeeze my hand.

My heart does a brief waltz in my chest from happiness. I can feel my lips curving into a smile of relief. "Oh… thank god, I thought you hated me." I say, before pausing and looking at him to judge his reaction. His expression says still. "Wait… you don't hate me, do you?"

Len starts to laugh quietly. "Why would I hate you, Rin-chan?" he asks.

"I… well, I have no idea. It's just…" I sigh, "…I have a feeling you dislike me at the moment. You act so enclosed around me, like you don't want me to know something." Len raises his eyebrows and frowns again. "What am I saying, anyway? I'm insane." I mumble, looking down at my hands.

"You aren't insane, Rin-chan. You're actually surprisingly healthy considering you were in such a bad…" Len trails off, realising what he was about to say. "It's just because you're confused since you're suffering from amnesia."

Miku enters the room with a big smile on her face. "I'm back! Did I miss anything?" she asks – typical Miku question. We stare at her in silence, losing interest in having our conversation in front of her. "What? Were you gossiping about me?" she inquires at our quietness.

"Oh, no, we were just talking about…" Len trails off, looking slightly uncertain on what to say.

"My sanity," I finish with a smile.

Miku raises an eyebrow. "Your sanity?" she echoes, before continuing with a sigh, "Anyway, Rin-chan, Len-kun and I have to go now. I ran into the nurse on the way here. She said it's getting late and you're probably tired." Before I could rebut, Miku has already gathered her stuff, as well as Len.

"Right…" is all I can mutter, feeling that irritatingly persistent disappointment sneak up on me. "Don't have too much fun without me, okay?" I say. I'm not even tired; the nurse must be making up excuses so they leave already.

Miku nods, grabbing Len's hand. I try to ignore that. "We will, Rin-chan, we'll have the biggest party and eat lots and lots of mandarins…" she chuckles, ruffling my hair. "Just kidding. I'll come and visit again sometime soon." I pout as she starts to depart for the door with Len.

Len hesitates, though, before flashing a heart-melting grin and blushing slightly. "See you later, Rin-chan." he says. Wait, does that mean he'll come and visit again, too?

"Bye-bye," I reply unhappily as I watch them leave. The door shuts with a soft click and I reach over for my iPod again, putting the earphones into my ears.

I close my eyes and exhale.

The next time I open my eyes, the room is dark and my iPod is no longer in my ears – the earphones have been rolled up around the device and put away to the side. Though the nurse has probably gone home, there's someone else in the room – standing beside me.

At first, I thought it was a ghost.

No, it was just Mum glowing in a totally creepy way. I rub my eyes, hoping it was just a hallucination – but when I readjust my vision, she's still standing there, watching me quietly with a smile. Maybe this is a dream? Eh… it can't be… it feels too real.

Mum puts a finger up to her lips, hushing me. "Don't be afraid," she whispers, reaching out to touch my hair with her hand. It feels tickly and warm – I instantly feel… relaxed. "It's okay, Rin-chan, you're doing really well."

I frown, not making any sense out of what she just said. "W-what?" I splutter, my voice coming out hoarse into the silence. She shushes me again, sitting up on the bed and stroking the side of my face.

This moment reminds me of when I awoke from my coma. Mum was standing over my bed, looking down at me with a smile on her face – as she does. She looked like an angel. And the first thing she said was, "Don't give up, you still have a bright future ahead of you."

…Wait a second. Now it makes slight sense.

She _is _an angel. She's dead. That's right – she would've been there, always, when I'm awake, supporting me. But she hasn't. How could I have missed that? I must have been so busy worrying about getting out of hospital and Len and Miku… And Dad! Where's he been?

Is… he…?

No… can't…

_There's a loud screech that jolts me back to reality and I turn my head to see headlights from another vehicle ahead that's approaching towards us at a rapid speed. The car swerves to avoid it, but there's an insanely loud _bang_, as well as a shriek. It pierces my ears. My heart is pounding insanely against my chest. Everything horrifying just happens at once. Something penetrates my side sharply. It _hurts_. I squeeze my eyes shut in panic and agony. I'm jerked forward with an invisible force, my organs being flung forward and my head striking something rigid._

_From there, everything goes black_.

My body jolts upright as I wake up, clutching at my chest. I'm covered in a cold sweat. It was only just a dream, but… the pain – it felt so real…

I push away the bedcovers, lifting the hospital gown slightly to reveal the side of my stomach. A large scar gapes at me like a haunting memory. I remember looking into the mirror in the bathroom yesterday, to see a small gash in my hairline – it didn't strike me at first, but…

No. It couldn't have been a memory, right? People with amnesia don't get these… these 'flashbacks' of their memories that were lost. It's fictional. It was just all a bad dream… all a bad dream, Mum, Dad…

Mum. Dad.

"_She was in a car accident, with her parents, too. It was terrible. A truck slipped on the roads and went out of control, resulting in the vehicle crashing into the car she and her family were in. We tried to save the parents, but it was too late – their injuries were too severe and they both died a few hours later. As for her, she was left in a coma that lasted for a decent seven months or so …"_

I remember hearing the nurses talk about that a while ago. But I was still half-asleep, so I assumed it was a dream.

It's not a dream. It's true.

I really did end up in an 'accident', just like Miku had said a while ago.

My parents are both dead – I never really thought about it, but that's why I never see them.

I'm an orphan.

_And now I wonder why the tears won't stop falling._

* * *

_Okay... D:_

_Jealous Len... is jealous. Get jealous about Rin, too, okay? 8D -shotshotshot-_

_Well, Rin's alive, and that's what matters, I guess? I didn't want to do something terrible like COMPLETELY ERASE her memories. orz. that'd make the story immensely difficult to write then, gyah! Hmm, I wonder why Rin remembered the car accident? ;D All shall be revealed... later!_

_I really don't have much to say about this chapter. I started typing it like a month ago but I sort of got uninspired and left it.__ (I was snooping around on FF reading some RinxLen stories when I came across someone who fave'd my story ;_; so that was what made me finish it off! eek so much support TuT) __I am sort of uninspired, still, but I forced myself to complete it at least so you guys get... SOME sort of update (since you are all so lovely~). Luckily, tomorrow is my last day of school and I get two weeks off so I'll be able to maybe produce more chapters ;u; (even maybe... finish it? oh no, that makes me feel sad)_

_1.8k views, 46 reviews (although it says 36... it's wrong X'D), 22 favourites and 27 followers! eejehrfbfbsfdjfsekkjhbfssf -falls off chair-  
THANK YOU SO MUUUUUUUCH -cries-_

_**REVIEW REPLIES:**  
_

_****Lynn 'Ne'-chan - Thank you! ;w; Ah, I'm glad it answered your question, thank you so much for the review~_

_valkyrievampire888 - Did she wake up? XDD Haha, thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter._

_Saph - Stupid Len is very cute~~ C'': Ah, yes, perfect friends... everyone has them in their life at one time -sigh- But I guess it's good because they inspire you to become GREATER! -shot- Hahahah you'll see what will happen very soon. (In fact, you probably might have spotted the... yeah... I'm not very good at making stories unpredictable) No problem~ Basically everyone I know calls them pacers and even the packaging says that so I forget to mention they're mechanical pencils X'D  
Those questions shall be answered soon, hopefully! Even some were answered in this chapter (...hopefully?). I hope (ah, repetition) that this chapter clears up more as well!  
Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it! I prefer to give each character's opinion, instead of just basically copying and pasting the whole thing e_e;; I mean, in third view, each character is shown with a different point of view and different thoughts... so, why not?  
Thank you again for the kind review, it means so much to me!_

_Kattochi - T-thank you so much ;llll; Hope you liked the update!_

_Splendence - XDD No, don't worry, I love making Len jealous too (as you can see from this chapter, Kaito's sudden appearance - he's psychic ;D). Yeah, unfortunately, Rin has brain damage... but nothing too terrible, anyway! D: I'm not that mean. I mean, if I wanted, I could've killed her officially. -cough- But I didn't. Yeah. I tried my best, but it's probably not very beautiful T-T Thank you so much for the review!_

_rilenchan3700 - Thank you for the review! Yeah, she doesn't have any more memories from around her last winter break (unfortunately...) therefore; she doesn't remember meeting Len while she was a ghost (-coughcough- for now...) I hope you enjoyed the update~_

_xX little kagami Xx - Aw! D': Sorry for making you cry ; A; Thank you so much for the kind review! I hope you liked the update._

_Red-Tulips-Are-Awesome - R-really? (ahahah;; I don't think it's the best... there are stories out there way better than mine..) I'm glad I made it tolerable, I certainly don't like writing it TuT;;; Too much LenxMiku is too much;;; No, no, it's okay! The encouraging words help me update faster! ;U; (well... not this time unfortunately;;;) Thank you so much for the review!_

_I feel so bad for being such a lazy author and writing such an awful update after making you guys wait... and you've all been so supportive of me so far!_

_Don't worry, the next chapter Rin will be out of hospital. Hospital scenes bore me. Intensely. ;v;' (and I don't go to hospitals enough to know much... eheheh)_

_**Random science fact (they're back?):** Do you know that if you play/sing/say/pray/show something to water and freeze it, depending on what you er... perform/show it, the water crystal would form similarly to the feeling of what you "insertthelatterhere"'ed it? So, if it was a happy kind of "insert(ahaha laziness)", the water crystal would form to be very pretty. If it's something negative, it would turn dark and murky and not form correctly. Um, I suck at explaining this, so google Masaru Emoto - he's the scientist who discovered it! (It's got something to do with the energy field of things... it's really awesome!)_


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